Thread:

Australia For Overseas Travellers

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Jokes & Humor

Australia For Overseas Travellers

Limerick dating
paddy1
limerick, Limerick Ireland
Posted: Jul 3, 2008, 7:21 PM CST

Australia For Overseas Travellers



These questions about Australia were posted on an Australian Tourism Website.

Q. Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK) A. We import all plants fully grown and then sit around watching them die.

Q. Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA) A. Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q. I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the rail road tracks? (Sweden) A. Sure. It's only three thousand miles so take lots of water.

Q. Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden) A. So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q. Which direction is north in Australia? (USA) A. Face south and turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the instructions.

Q. Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA) A. A-U-S-T-R-I-A is the quaint little country bordering G-E-R-M-A-N-Y, which is...oh, forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys' Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

Q. Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy) A. Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q. Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France) A. Only at Christmas.

Q. Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany) A. No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q. Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake venom. (USA) A. Rattlesnakes live in A-M-E-R-I-C-A, which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q. I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA) A. Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q. Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA) A. Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
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New South Wales dating
sxc666
Central Coast, New South Wales Australia
Posted: Jul 3, 2008, 7:26 PM CST
giggle
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Missouri personals
branded
poplar bluff, Missouri USA
Posted: Jul 3, 2008, 7:31 PM CST


Well that's a good thing Tina offered to take me to see some of the sights sticking out tongue
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New South Wales dating
sxc666
Central Coast, New South Wales Australia
Posted: Jul 3, 2008, 7:34 PM CST
branded wrote:
Well that's a good thing Tina offered to take me to see some of the sights
Different sites Joey, but a bit of what goes on in the cross might come in to play devil laugh hug
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Missouri personals
branded
poplar bluff, Missouri USA
Posted: Jul 3, 2008, 7:36 PM CST
sxc666 wrote:
Different sites Joey, but a bit of what goes on in the cross might come in to play


rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing


Ummm Tina , I have a serious question , confused , do you have a Twin here in the states ? rolling on the floor laughing If so then I think I might have located them
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New South Wales dating
sxc666
Central Coast, New South Wales Australia
Posted: Jul 3, 2008, 7:37 PM CST
branded wrote:
Ummm Tina , I have a serious question , , do you have a Twin here in the states ? If so then I think I might have located them
uh oh! thats the second time Ive been asked that question.
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Missouri personals
branded
poplar bluff, Missouri USA
Posted: Jul 3, 2008, 7:38 PM CST
sxc666 wrote:
thats the second time Ive been asked that question.



Hmmm , well , if they're not your twins , then , umm are you letting your inner imp out to play ?confused rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing



I'm a bit timid right now though rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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darlynda
new tazewell, Tennessee USA
Posted: Jul 3, 2008, 7:40 PM CST
paddy1 wrote:
Australia For Overseas Travellers
These questions about Australia were posted on an Australian Tourism Website.

Q. Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK) A. We import all plants fully grown and then sit around watching them die.

Q. Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA) A. Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q. I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the rail road tracks? (Sweden) A. Sure. It's only three thousand miles so take lots of water.

Q. Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden) A. So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q. Which direction is north in Australia? (USA) A. Face south and turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the instructions.

Q. Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA) A. A-U-S-T-R-I-A is the quaint little country bordering G-E-R-M-A-N-Y, which is...oh, forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys' Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

Q. Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy) A. Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q. Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France) A. Only at Christmas.

Q. Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany) A. No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q. Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake venom. (USA) A. Rattlesnakes live in A-M-E-R-I-C-A, which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q. I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA) A. Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q. Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA) A. Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing it never ceases to amaze me at peoples stupidity
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New South Wales dating
sxc666
Central Coast, New South Wales Australia
Posted: Jul 3, 2008, 7:46 PM CST
branded wrote:
Hmmm , well , if they're not your twins , then , umm are you letting your inner imp out to play ?
I'm a bit timid right now though
Yes I send Mini me's all over the world. so watch out Joey. I might be hiding in your truck next time day dream devil
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Indiana dating
Indyfella
indianapolis, Indiana USA
Posted: Jul 3, 2008, 8:16 PM CST


Someday before I push up daisies, I'd like to visit Australia. It's got some beautiful areas!
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Zeelander
Louisville, Kentucky USA
Posted: Jul 3, 2008, 8:44 PM CST
I have been to Australia and the Vienna Boys Chior seems to be happiest with a fosters in hand.... wait Australia... er Austria... ah.... The women are gorgeous in Sydney.... so HA

Zee
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emilytheempress
Kalamazoo, Michigan USA
Posted: Jul 3, 2008, 8:49 PM CST
LOL, jesus.
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Zeelander
Louisville, Kentucky USA
Posted: Jul 3, 2008, 8:55 PM CST
emilytheempress wrote:
LOL, jesus.


No, but you are getting warmer.... sticking out tongue

So, how is k-zoo these days? I am originally from Zeeland...LOL

Zee
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wolfpack
post falls, Idaho USA
Posted: Jul 3, 2008, 9:54 PM CST
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing some people
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Ontario personals
Hugz_n_Kissez
Someplace, Ontario Canada
Posted: Jul 3, 2008, 9:59 PM CST
Well now that I know all the info...I'm ready for my trip to Northern Aussie to see the Vienna Choir Boys at Christmas time in the bushes!!!!!!!!!!!!


professor cheering grin
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free online dating
nomindgames
Painesville, Ohio USA
Posted: Jul 3, 2008, 10:01 PM CST
I regret that I will probably never be in the land of Aussie People.From me,Austraila is the furtherst place to go to by miles.I have wanted to go since I was 23 or so.Saw a presentation of the beautiful country.

Now I also saw some beautiful green in a documentary of Ireland,that is still a possibilitylove .
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