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Either with pen on paper (get a note book) or on the computer, write about them. It is a great way to morn, and remember. It can make you cry and laugh.... and say.... oh yeah I remember.

It's a physical way of copying but great mentally. Sometimes this helps, but finding someone to talk to also helps. You could even keep a journal about your friend Stephen and just show that to the person helping you grieve.

Unfortunately what you feel is normal to most people that have lost someone they care about. It's called the "Morning Process".


Am sorry you lost some one so close to you. You could also set up a thread on here if you'd like and write a journal about him.

take care

Do feel finding someone to talk to can help you a lot. Dealing with the feelings you have now because of the way Stephen passed away, can be more over whelming than by an accident or natural causes.


If the meds are not working, you do need more help, and possibly a change of medication. Please find someone to talk to. Sometimes that is the best medicine.

The many levels of feelings that people have when they have lost someone to suicide can be too much to bare alone. Please make sure you get some help.

If you can not find someone ASAP, let us know how you are doing, and just spill what ever feelings you have, be it either in an email (which might be best and private) instead of out in a forum. This way you will not get too much information and more confusion.

Am not saying not to post in the forums, just suggesting to avoid too much over whelming advice and comments that might make your thoughts spin around more and more, pick just the ones you trust to talk/chat/write to.

We might just be a bunch of people on line, but you'd be suprised how many will be there for you.

You are in for a bit of an emotional ride for the next little while, but you will get through it.

take Care.

I would doubt that you will ever get "over" this tragedy. When things like this happen it's hard to accept and come to terms with as you'll never have real closure on it.

They'll always be questions unanswered, also you never had the chance to say goodbye. I've also experienced something like this in my life years ago and found I coped with it better when I stopped trying to get over it and accepted I would never have real closure. Instead I put it to one side of my life and learn't to live with it and in time the pain and grief does fade. I am talking of years here, not just weeks or months

Manda, the lost of life is something we never really forget about. The pain softens as the years past. We forgive ourselves for selfishly wanting to keep that person in our life and move on with life. Mourning is part of the forgiving ourselves and realizing that the person will always be part of us, because of the impact their life had on us.

Suicide is definitely harder on the ones left behind. The ones left behind often think it was something they did, it is not. There is often no closure or understanding of why the person took their own life. Often the ones left behind wonder why they did not see any signs, many of times in a successful suicide there aren't any. The sad fact is that most successful suicides have no warning signs. The person seemed so strong on the outside, but they were not on the inside and did not seek help or know how to seek help without leaving their secret desire out.

Hugs Manda, I wish there was a easy way for you to handle the lost of a close friend. You might have to be the strong one and get everyone that was friends with the two of you and have a group counseling session. You could choose not to have doctor there, but it would be a way for everyone involved to let their emotions out by talking about the lost friend. Maybe everyone bring a favorite picture of the lost friend and themselves to share and talk about when the photo was taken or a favorite story of their friendship. This time could bring closure as a way of saying goodbye and for your friend to live on in loving memory.

I am so sorry for your loss. Any words I can say here just wouldn't be enough.

Just a thought, do you have any of those "help lines" in your area? The people who man those phones are very caring people and could probably help talk you through this, I have a friend in Florida who is a volunteer on a "help line". I know there are also support groups for people who have lost a friend or family member thru suicide. Aslo, some churches have qualified staff to help folks who have lost a loved one.

you guys are really all so great, it helps to know i'm not alone. No one hear likes to talk about his death.

Maybe they feel awkward and try to avoid talking about it because they can't find the right words to say that will help. Or they think if they don't discuss it and bury it under the carpet it will fade away quicker. In real life I've known people cross the road to avoid talking to someone they know who was recently bereaved. Which makes the person who has lost someone feel even worse because they think people don't care or don't want to talk to them. At least you have all of us here to talk to and maybe join a local support group as someone else mentioned earlier in this thread

This saturday coming is the 9th anniversary of when my husband took his life, leaving me and our 8 kids with that big"WHY" but over time i have learnt, and also my kids, to leave that big "WHY" with John as he is the only one who can answer that.....The saying time is a healer is so true but when someone dies by suicide it really is hard to move on with time....as there is so many unanswered questions. One thing you must believe is that no matter what we say or do, It was his choice and i mightnt like it but i have to respect because after all what else is there. I did write him a letter about 3 months after he died, it helped me get my sanity back as i could on paper what i really felt and then i burnt it.....I have turned John's suicide around and lived life to the fullest instead of taking myself to the dark depth that he was in....If at anytime you need me i am only a message away......as i do know where you are and i can re-assure you that you can move on but with time and great people here on CS....

Remember you have a special angel looking out for you, so why dont you start telling us some of your fond memories you have of him and the silly things you would get up to.......

Aww Cariad i am so sorry its hard when someone takes their own life. A good friend of mine did this many years ago and left two small boys. I went from emotional roller coaster of being angry at her ,upset for not being able to help.

Do you have friends to talk to? If not you can email me i'm a good listener talking does help, Keep taking your meds in the mean time as they can help short term

Sorry to hear that. Just be good to yourself and give yourself time to heal, it is never easy and people deal with things differantly. A month is still early days, time a a great healer , but it does take time.

You need to deal with this sweet heart,I know it is too much to deal with at the moment,but you just let him go,and let him see that you respect his choice,you will get better honey,I went through this,have been there and done that,my dearest brother passed away so suddenly and that was on my Birthday,will always remember that day,and it took me a good while to get there,i could feel him around for long time,he was not ready to go i guess,.....hope it will help you a bit,feel very sorry ,but just try to be strong,he needs that too....

Kiss and hug might help you

untill i can see pretty gals like this,i never attain NIBBANA

I am so sorry for your loss sweetie. I lost my husband a year ago this thursday. It does get easier with time but you will never forget. Don't be afraid to grieve. Get it all out, cry your eyes out when you need to. Don't be afraid to remember the good times either. I have pictures up all over my house, at first I felt a little sad looking at them but it's easier now and I can wake up and see him and smile. My son and I do little things to remember him whether it's going to his favorite restaurant or favorite camping spot and we share funny stories.
I'm here for you if you ever want to talk.

hey, u dont now me but my names amanda....and my great grandpa passed away in september!! and i was there went he left us, but i understand its alot different, but i felt destroyed when he left, cause he was always there for me and now what to say...till this day i still miss him, and i always will, but u got to remember now that he's in a better place, and TIME is the only thing that can heal u, dont forget him and what a great person he was...just remember all the great times u guys had together, and if u have to make a scrap book about him and write down funny stories about things that u guys did or just things that he did!! that way when u fill like u miss him so bad u can look back and laugh...and just remember what a great person he was...and remember he would want u to keep moving on!!

if u want to talk email me, and im sorry about ur friend...i hoped i helped u at least a little
amanda

thank you so much for all your help
I really appreciate it

How are you doing today manda?

This one hits my heart as my old man passed away 5-28-08 all i can say is get up every morning and get through the day

good luck hun