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Way back when my sisters and I were teenagers. Around the kitchen table at a mealtime discussion. Our parents gave this tibbit of advice. " Observe how your date treats their parents. Especially how a daughter treats her father, and how a son treats his mom. Because that will indicate how they will treat you.

Now many here have had long term relationships. Did your partner end up treating you like they treated their parents? Is this something that you noticed with your brothers and sisters? Close friends? Maybe your own kids?

I will probably be logged off when and if many reply, but I will read with interest in 24 hours.

Wow, come to think of it my ex husband was very dependant on his mother, and treated me like his mother too.

Most of the time I would agree that would be the case, but most people get wiser and more respectful with age. And some may of had the most horrible parents ever.. But if they are fully grown then 99% of the time I would say its true

I also had the same advice given to me years ago by an older female friend but never quite worked out if there's any truth in it or not.

When I think back to the relationships my ex's had with their mothers. I wouldn't say they mistreated them or had bad relationships. Same as they never physically abused me.

However, I do think they were thoughtless and often uncaring. They never used to visit their mothers very often and would sometimes forget birthday etc.

I remember accusing them of acting selfish towards me and often thoughtless too so maybe there is a lot of wisdom in this advice

Of course. You can tell how someone is going to treat you by how they treat others, not just their parents.

Watch how a guy treats waitresses at a restaurant if you want a clue what kind of person he really is.

I agree.. I really do think you can tell A LOT about someone when you see how they treat waiting staff.

When I married, my husband carried on a co-dependant relationship with his mother all our married life. He asked her advice on everything and she chose everything for my house down to what colour I painted my walls. He treated me like crap because I wouldn't play his co-dependant game.

When I left him, I told her she could have him back. He moved back home 17 years ago, and is till there with him mum , now in her 90's still getting up and making his breakfast and doing his laundry and telling him what to wear and he still treats her like crap and tells her she is not doing it well enough or fast enough or good enough for his tastes.

Whoa, lovely lad there!

very well said

does this mean that how we treat our parents and other people is how we'll treat someone we're going out with/married to?


its true that the environment that one has grown accustomed to can become a major factor in how we'll be treated by someone that we're going out with/married to but the choices are there for the taking -- deviate from convention or stick with it...


JMHO

He hated me because I wouldn't buckle

I would like to thank those who have replied to this thread.

Now another question comes to mind.
Does the relationships that parents develope with their kids, effect the the relationship they will have with their life partners?

It would be nice if widows and widowers would reply to this thread.
It would also be nice if a few men who had relationship would also reply.

I agree with that, but don't treat the waitstaff to nice if your with your date. especially if it is an attractive waitresswaiter. I know I have always called women hun.. young, old, cute, not so cute, doesn't matter. All I did was when the waitress would fill up our drink or take a plate or something is say "thanks hun" Big no no, I was cussed out and accused of wanting to #uck her for 2 days that's right 2 fricken days so you ladies say that is what you like too see but not when you're with the the date and it is to someone attractive... JMO

Then I suppose it is wrong for kicking that old woman to the curb because she didn't vacuum & mop the floors, clean the toilets and clean ALL the windows inside & out.....SO what if it is 100 degrees out..

I agree that how a person treats their parent is how they will treat you.

When I first met my ex he treated his mother awful but thought it was because they did not get along. After we were married he treated me the same way, he said I was his wife and he could treat me any way he wants.

Its very true! One of my ex's yelled and cussed at his mom just the same way he did to me! I didn't go for it! I would confront him for yelling at his mom in frong of his mom and dad if he was around! I was always taught to respect my elders with yes ma'am and no ma'am! The yelling disrespectful stuff would have landed my behind across the room with a blistered behind! I don't dislike my parents one bit for raising me that way! It taught me wrong from right! Partially why he is my ex is how he treated his mom because it was also the way he treated me.

Where my ex who is my best friend treated his mom with the upmost respect just like I was raised! We never argued! He took care of his mom when she got sick with cancer! He would do the same for me if it was ever arise even though we are not together! So it is completly true in my eyes! Mind you his mom raised him to believe it was the man's job to provide even if the woman worked the man paid the bills and put food on the table!

I have always treated my partners how I would want to be treated! You respect me I respect you and sometimes even if you don't respect me I respect you! I am a peacful person like my mom!

i believe it's true you can tell by how they treat their parents...........but if you are with someone who is not around their parents/does not associate with them.........then the next best thing is what was said above.........see them around wait staff and also IMO around clerks at stores......the way they treat g/f's of their friends is another way to tell for me.