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I quit speculating, too much trouble, besides how do you ever know if you're right? A simple phone call would be nice though, wtf is so hard about that?

Chicken sh*ts.

I don't know what is eating you but the fact that you have hearded us women all together in the (asshole) corral is bs, we are not all the same but i won't add to your tirade, hope all get's better soon

hi

Why is it so hard for people to just tell you the real deal? I mean, I do tell people when I don't want to do something straight up. I don't fuckin not answer my phone or just not decide to call you anymore...fuck that. I will tell you and put things in the crystal clear.

it just boils down to one thing - cowardice.imo

Aw, I know just how he feels, so do you probably. Thr momentary all men/women are assholes syndrome. It happens, we get over it!

No effin' sh*t.

What I hate is when they say they'll do something and don't, and I'm thinking unless you're in the freakin' hospital there's no excuse, then think, I'd feel bad if they really were?

Who the frack knows. What I don't get is you don't have to lie to me. Tell me anything, I'm cool with it. Tell me nothing, I'm not.

it does get a bit infuriating at times, yeah.

Hiya Stress...

The thing is we have no control over other people just ourselves.. it is our job to be truthful, honest and act with integrity.... we can hope, but unfortunately cannot EXPECT the same from others... this is a hard mindset to develop, because if we are honest people we naturally expect other people to behave the same way...

Cowardice/ego or fear are the main reasons people behave like this.. so in a sense they are to be pitied.. as it is a flaw in their character, which will not do them any favours..

I just quietly move on from these kind of people and have no desire to associate with them unless they can respect that I expect honesty..

As to advice... all I can really say is preserve your integrity and continue to be the honest and upright person that you are.. the cream will rise to the top eventually, and the people that will surround you, will be the ones that honour this requirement

yea i understand where he is comming from, have been there and done that but only for a short period, i don't waste time on sits that are going no where, just hope he knows we are not all like that is all, mr.T knows where i am comming from

This was well said, had to quote it, good one lady aries and oh so true

Stressfree this is the world....

Not alot of people are straight up...or say whats on their mind...

People think We have E.S.P.

We are supposed to know what people are thinking...

If its any consolation, I'd like you to know that this sic attitude is not restricted to the west, we have it in the East too. You don't need people like this in your life so they've probably done you a favor by disappearing. You got good people on the forums - I always tell it like I see it - like it or lump it! You want straight talk - come to us.

yes- that sucks don't let it spoil your holiday though:)

I am tired of speculating...give me some insight here...why are some people so fuckin shallow that they think they can just be gone with the wind and without a trace.

we all speculate on new relationships, will they respond the way we hope, will their moral compass be to our standards. Will they drop everything and place me above all else. These are necessary building blocks for some.


To address "not responding" in your time frame and "not answering the phone"
If its a new relationship how can one honestly know if one is not answering the phone or occupied in some other matter more important than nurturing a possible "new" friendship/relationship? Hell they could simply judge me unworthy of their time for a response.



Anyone with sense will admit total disclosure to someone new is not the wisest thing to do...to many wackos, stalkers and control freaks out there.

As one wise person said in another thread, life is way too short.
Adopt the ACE formula in these situations.

Accept it
Change it ...or
Eliminate it.

Oh yeah, I am there.

I don't speculate, I don't have expectations, I take it as it comes or goes as the case may be.

I don't expect anyone to drop everything and place me above all else. I mean I'm not gonna do it, I don't want it. All I ask is that a person do what they say they'll do, live up to their word. If you can't do that, don't bother me.

ohhh good formula!! i so love formulas, realizing there are quiet a few for life's sits.

what you posted above is true, i am in a long distance relationship and due to tech difficulties we have argued thinking the other was ignoring the other, well not argued but one of us got riled i just can't stand being ignored but anyway there could be factors in the life of the person that one is trying to talk to/reach and can't get a hold of, and maybe that certain person has a lot going on at that time, so the ace formula fits right in, pretty simple too when you don't put personal emotion to it.

[quote=alabamabebe]Oh yeah, I am there.

I don't speculate, I don't have expectations, I take it as it comes or goes as the case may be.

I speculate all the time, but I do not hold others accountable if my speculating fails me.

I have learned through time my hopes, desires, wants, and needs are my own responsibility, not someone else's.

Whether they respond or do not call, either way its something I personally learned. and in the end isn't that what building a good relationship is all about?

More insight, hope you don't mind Mr.T i have said this before and i hope that two very special people from here see this as i hope you do mr.T....when we meet a certain somebody there are factors that draw us to them, otherwise they would be "just another face in the crowd" so SOME attraction made that certain somebody special, when we get involved with that certain somebody we forget what drew us to them to start with, and why? because we are always trying to conform/size/fit that person into somebody they are not but you just want to change something or other a WEEEEEE little bit, well there went the attraction factor! poof! you can't change what you had so you shouldn't try to change what you have, be good with what you have and all else will fall into place.

One other thing, why do we always stop doing what we did from the first and start doing things we didn't do from the first? this always =disaster

Sorry to rattle mr.T, you know how i get sometimes, we love you

And to the two i aimed this to also you know who you are, you two are being two ninnies, can we not remember? COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY?

HJFinAZ contributed this "ACE formula" in another thread a few days ago

Its applicable to so many of life's hiccups and dilemmas.

No. I agree with you. I am on your side. I believe in being real. I consider other people's feelings before mine. That can be frustrating.

Some people are poor communicators. They stew and ruminate and before yiou know it, opportunity has passed.

Some may not have the time or the means; phones, computers, texting unavailable...though in this day and age that seems unlikely,

Some people are non-confrontational, and may have seen what 'they percieve' to be 'agressiveness' in you, so avoid a possible confrontation.

Some people just get by for the moment, smiling and nodding, implying that they want to do with you what you're saying but really have no intention of following thru and just dont want to offend you at the time or cause a fracas.

Some people use denial of communication as a weapon or tool just like some use sex to manipulate. They steal power from others, or try to.

Not communictating, is madness though huh? Its difficult to relate when you're the only one doing it. I hates waiting on people, time is the most valuable thing we have in life and to have someoone waste it for whatever reason/excuse sucks. Time is the only thing you can't get back in life and to have others use it up on nothingness, well...

Chill buddy. Don't let others steal your power.