Posted: Jul 17, 2008, 4:40 PM CST
HJFinAZ wrote:Making Over Our PartnersA relationship, in the truest sense of the word, means relating to another. Usually when we say that we relate to someone, it is because we’ve found common ground. But part of relating is finding ways to make ideas that seem different come together. So often when we choose relationships, we try to fit another person into our predetermined ideal. When they don’t fit perfectly, we may try to make them over, creating our own vision from the raw material they’ve brought. But unless someone asks for guidance and direction, entering into a relationship with someone we want to change is dishonest. Then our relationship becomes with someone we’ve imagined, and anytime our partner steps outside of that imaginary projection, we will be disappointed. An honest relationship is one in which we accept each other as whole individuals, and find a way to share our life experiences together. Then, whenever we want, we can choose as a couple to give the relationship a makeover by renewing the ! way we interact.
By wanting to give another person a makeover, we are basically saying we don’t accept them for who they are. If we take a moment to imagine the roles reversed, we can get a sense of how it would feel if our beloved only committed to us because they thought we were, or would become, someone else entirely. In such an environment, we are
not relating to each other from a real place, and we are keeping ourselves from being able to learn and grow from the different viewpoints that our partners offer.
If we feel that a change is needed in our relationship, the only makeover that we truly have the power to make is on ourselves. By accepting our partners for exactly who they are—the ideal and the not-so-ideal—we will create an energetic shift in our relationships, and we may find ourselves really appreciating our partners for the first time. Working from within, we determine how we relate to the people and the world around us, and when we can accept it and embrace it all, without conditions, we make every act of relating a positive one.What do you think?
ok good thread by the way. let's se if I can get my viuew o it before reverting to comedy.
Every relationhisp has CONDITIONS. the CONDITION that it is me, and only me, is in the mind of each individual. less it is one of those kinky relationships, and I'm sure this is not what you mean.
Yes each person percieves the other to be who they wish he'd be, yet during courtship this person is on their best behavior, because there is chemistry flowing within them, and after a period of time comfort levels grow, and they guards go down, and the TRUE individual comes out. some are violent, jealous, stubborn, loud fowled mouth idiots, and so on, and so on. So to say that we must go into each relationship, with the intent of accepting the idividual as they are, and not try to change them, is not quite real, because we will always make an effort, to change what we don't agree with, more so, in times when it is a person we've come to grow in love and respect, yet, if they in turn do not return that love and respct in the same manner, well then we've got problems. time for a change, and every human alive today, will make a valiant effort to make that person change, before they END IT.
ok no funny stuff to put in here. great thread OP