Posted: Jul 20, 2008, 12:08 AM CST
wittyaphorism wrote:A man sends me an email asking if I believe in love at first sight. I tell him I don't-that should be a flag right there for him. It's not love, it's attraction, that's it. It takes a long time, work, and commitment to create a love relationship. He wrote 3 times in his profile that he's looking for a nice girl. I tell him I'm not a "nice" girl, meaning I don't do the cookie cutter banter. I tell him I enjoy argument and am an intellectual. He's clearly the polar opposite of intellectual. He doesn't need to understand quantum physics and the mystery of pi or where the last black hole was located but I need someone who WANTS to go to an art gallery or a poetry recital, not just a picnic or football game. I say I would not be comfortable with him and I hope he finds what he's looking for but it's not me. He replies with, "Don't be so hard on yourself." Where did that come from????? ('');
Do I ignore him or continue to politely but now bluntly decline?('');
I tried to be nice, then I tried being blunt. Blunt is bad in forums. Blunt is often ignored, in e-mails. Sometimes it works for me. I would rather be blunt and accepted, than kind.
I grew up hearing about the boarding house reach. I thought it was the "Borden House" reach, even though we passed dishes at dinner. My grandmother was freaky about manners. My original surname was Borden. Even though we heard about the Borden/Boarding House reach, my grandmother would have a fit, if we didn't do the right thing, at the table.
I have a funny thing about table manners. I don't bring it up. but I look for it. My daughter loves her fiance. Hate's his table manners! She's told me she equates table manners with intelligence. My future son-in-law is a good guy, has horrible manners. It bothers me that she's marrying him.