tippingpnt
Dallas, Texas USA
Posted: Jul 21, 2008, 5:40 PM CST
Actually, real world rules are pretty simple. Even when one meets a person socially or in the business comunity and what ensues is a casual or somewhat cool response to an approach then logic dictates just back away and let things be. In this environment its much more difficult to establish some kind of meaningful approach because of the complete lack of actual physical ability to have a conversation that could stimulate some interest.
Do you take the first"not interested"response and move on?
Even in the face of having one's ego brused (which will not happen beyond repair by any streatch of the imagination) if you receive a "not intersted" response (or worse yet no response) then take that as being for any number of reasons which don't necessarily reflect on yourself. Quite honestly how can any of us judge each other with the limited amount of information that we have to work from on here?
Do you actively hunt down all their threads and comments and post to them?
The better thing to do would be to become involved in posting to the threads on the basis of actually being an interested participant. Just be youself and let that be your best advertizement for who you are. If a person can't functionally present themselves in a manner consistent with good communication skills then there is a problem anyway and that is different for different people and will be responded to as such. Given that, you might strike up a correspondance with someone who you might not have otherwise - the laws of attraction make more sense here than anything else and it's all based on how we represent ourselves, typically over time.
Do you flower them and write letters to them repeatedly?
In this day and age, I love you, I need you, I want you, uh-huh baby probably isn't going to go too far (with men or women). And, anyone who is that forward in acting like a kid with a grade school crush based on reading a profile and looking at some pictures probably has some other issues as well. There are a lot of attractive people whose profiles are prominent on this site, some of them would probably respond differently if the circumstances were based on a 1-1 association but are more constrained in the slightly impersonal manner that we are attempting to find Ms/Mr Right as we are here. What we each have to offer of ourselves is a real mystery until some magic point is reached where a certain amount of ice is broken by a well turned phrase of just some as yet undefined equation involving personal chemisty.
When / where is the line drawn between very interested and stalker?
I would think that at this point the phrase "NO'" means just that "No, go away, don't bother me", although I would imagine that it is phrased in different ways it still comes out the same way. Persoanally, since I haven't had a chance to post a picture as of yet, I get some very polite "thanks but no thanks" responses who might actually be a bit more receptive if I had a picture posted. Those responses (and the lack there of in a couple of instances) are not intended to be less than polite and considerate of my feelings - they just are what they are and have to be acdcepted as such.
Unfortunately we are dealing with the frailties of the human circumstance, and no matter just how great a picture of ourselves we would like to think we paint somewhere along the line we are going to fall short of perfection. We're not all as adorable or masculine, or as desirable in the eyes of everyone we meet as we might like to think. Thats just human nature. If we had all of this fiugured out we would still be with our childhood sweethearts and living with the generally accepted picket fence lifestyle that seemed to be so desireable some years ago.
Life is life, we all live it differently and we definitely will find that there is a very small and select group of the opposite sex that would be attracted to us as individuals.