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Yes it is a delicate line, but one that gets easier to walk the more you do it. You can have as much affect on thier becoming more open by trying to walk that line though, than by getting discouraged and acting on the feelings of discouragement. If they refuse to communicate or won't make time to do so, then you're out of luck though.

Yep, my pet peeve. I'm not outta luck though, they are.

Right, Al. If I understand your point here (and in your other posts in this thread), it's that our feelings should be acknowledged and treated with respect rather than considered as weaknesses that should be avoided.

Practically speaking, some degree of insecurity will always be present in a relationship (since all of us have them), so it's really a matter of how we deal with them (and sometimes, certainly in extreme cases, one is justified in abandoning the relationship).

I think, for example, my Ex handled my jealousy of her former boyfriend quite well. Yes, she thought I was off-base in pestering her about him, but she still assented to my desire to talk about him rather than tell me to shut the fuck up. Because she was willing to discuss him and her feelings about him (though often with a loud sigh!), eventually she defused the issue, and after being reassured, I no longer felt the need to raise the topic. If she had tried to squelch the subject, it might've eaten away at me for years.

My god, what an interesting date your Lady Godiva must've made!

Jeff

communication is the key.

she was/probably still is a dangerous lady Jeff Having sex (penetration sex)while driving at 60mph on the highway... was one of the most satisfying but mega scary events of my life. I like lady godivas as long as they are like you say, willing to negotiate and work together on moments where we both feel empowered. I made arrangement for events where she could indulge her public needs and she backed off when I felt insecure. Unfortuneatly other ingredients were missing on other areas.

I'm a jealousy proned naturalist scyzophrenic nudist

so how did you lose this woman that who was willing to discuss your weaknesses? seems a shame to lose that?

Now I'm feeling a bit jealous of you, Al The best I've ever had in a car was an aborted blow-job...

About my ex...well, that's a long story. She was willing to talk about her former boyfriend, but very unwilling to talk about what she did with her credit cards... And, more importantly, as our relationship deteriorated, she absolutely did not want to talk about that, either.

But some of her bad behaviors were related to my bad behaviors (I was verbally abusive), to state the matter more fairly. And yes, it was a shame...

on the relationship

but kudos on the ownership of your part

welcome to the dating world forums

they are for that pourpuse

they are for people knowing nothing about a topic to be able to post an advice
thye are for people asking for recognitions and the "pitty me" aproach

as some one already said before

at her age shw shuold know better what trust is? and when she trust some one

agreed.

How do you get trust back tho, and had walls built up over other bad relationships.
But finally dropped that to let love in once again and you had put your whole heart and soul into the new relationship, then you get dumped?

are yu sure you want to know the answer?

In my opinion, the best thing would be give that relationship a VERY hard looking-over with an eye toward discovering what led to its dissolution, Mylife.

Now why would I bother to ask , If I didn't want to know Alex?

trust is about you, it doesn't go anywhere that you don't lead it to.

life sucks sometimes, always has, but the point IMHO is to feel things, experience things, other wise having a body and mind is stupid. Crying is just as much a part of life and any. I think we are supposed to indulge whatever feelings and senses we have and be aware of them, again it seems pointless to have a body and mind if that's not the case.

Life constantly changes, dies off and regenerates, everything we see happeing around us is the scenery of life, how we react to it, is us, making a choice to feel because of it.

so, you get trust back by grabbing onto it, what you tell your self, your self will indulge.

Or you can sit and wait of course, that too will be indulged by the self.

Thankyou thats what I have been working on with that

sometimes people ask retoric questions
questions they do not want to know the answer

instead of asuming onr or the other i prefer to ask

any way, yu always prefer to take things in the wrong way

I guess this runs along the lines of what made me ask the question about trust in the first place too. If we supposedly repeat patterns and learn nothing, then we sit there, we bring to us what we envisage. So if we have a bad experience and do the same thing the next time then we will get the same result.

Part of asking the question was in trying to change something and change the cycle, like how to *I* do things differently or see things differently.

A big word for a delicate process.

and then when some one has a diferent view point it gives yu the perfect oportunity to atack him

you can copntinue with your view point and i will continue with mine

in my case i have not any bad relationship, and i was not taken advantage off

yur know yur case better

yur methods works for you
mines works for me