Thread:

Quickies

Category:
Jokes & Humor

Quickies

Arizona singles
HJFinAZ
Sun (Sin) CIty, Arizona USA
Posted: Jul 21, 2008, 11:27 PM CST
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.

"How was he killed?" asked one detective.
"With a golf gun," the other detective replied
"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?"
"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."
----------------------------------------------------------


Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values.
Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?"
Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, What was her maiden name?"

A little boy went up to his father and asked:
"Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?"
The father replied. "Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, 'cause I still have mine"

A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said,
"I don't like the looks of your wife at all,"
"Me neither, Doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids."

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.
The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

Two Reasons Why It 's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.

A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.

This guy has been sitting in a bar all night, staring at a blonde wearing the tightest pants he's ever seen.
Finally his curiosity gets the best of him, so he walks over and asks, "How do you get into those pants?"
The young woman looks him over and replies,
"Well, you could start by buying me a drink."

Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."
Joe: "Really?"
Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."

A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. "I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery," he answered.
"What did he say," asked the nurse.
"OOPS!"


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zdeadmanwalking
bowling green, Kentucky USA
Posted: Jul 22, 2008, 1:58 AM CST
cheers
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Florida singles
lostpoet4u
Davenport, Florida USA
Posted: Jul 22, 2008, 2:08 AM CST
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing Gawd...that left my sides hurting
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Indiana dating
Indyfella
indianapolis, Indiana USA
Posted: Jul 22, 2008, 5:11 AM CST
rolling on the floor laughing
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Connecticut singles
dancingfarmer
Columbia, Connecticut USA
Posted: Jul 22, 2008, 5:27 AM CST
Thanks for the laughs! rolling on the floor laughing
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New South Wales personals
sxc666
Central Coast, New South Wales Australia
Posted: Jul 22, 2008, 5:43 AM CST
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing thumbs up
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free online dating
Lillym
Sliema, Majjistral Malta
Posted: Jul 22, 2008, 7:06 AM CST
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing Great stuff
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Posted: Jul 22, 2008, 7:27 AM CST
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing



A man and woman go to the doctor.

The doctor comes out and the man asked about his wife.

The doctor said,"Your wife has acute angina."

He replied, "She sure does, and she has nice tits too....but hows my wife?"

grin
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Mazowieckie dating
Barnagie
Warsaw, Mazowieckie Poland
Posted: Jul 22, 2008, 7:34 AM CST
HJFinAZ wrote:
Two Reasons Why It 's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.
"


rolling on the floor laughing

Two blondes got stuck in the lift.
One of them start screaming: HELP! HELP!
Second told her: It would be better when we scream together
So both start screaming: TOGETHER! TOGETHER!!!
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Posted: Jul 22, 2008, 7:40 AM CST
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing



Two blonde guys go hunting. They get lost. So they read the hunters guide. They fire three times into the air....no one came. So they did it again and again until the ran out of arrows.grin
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