Thread:

Men Strike Back!!

Category:
Jokes & Humor
page: 1 2 of 2

Men Strike Back!!

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mylifewithu
springfield, Missouri USA
Posted: Jul 23, 2008, 11:29 AM CST
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
------------------------------------ -------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat

a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when

a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men?
until they can walk down the street with a bald head

and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

laugh
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WhatUwish4
Jacksonville, Florida USA
Posted: Jul 23, 2008, 11:31 AM CST
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing


The laundromat....
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Tater
springfield, Illinois USA
Posted: Jul 23, 2008, 11:32 AM CST
I have never heard truer statement, spoken from a woman beforelaugh laugh devil
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alex_192
sarasota USA
Posted: Jul 23, 2008, 11:33 AM CST
mylifewithu wrote:
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
------------------------------------ -------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat

a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when

a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men?
until they can walk down the street with a bald head

and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.


at least a woman that can recognize the thruth
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BnaturAl
Sarnia, Ontario Canada
Posted: Jul 23, 2008, 11:33 AM CST
scold you better believe it.


rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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gypsykisses
Port Huron, Michigan USA
Posted: Jul 23, 2008, 11:37 AM CST
laugh ......rolling eyes ........laugh
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Zeelander
Louisville, Kentucky USA
Posted: Jul 23, 2008, 11:39 AM CST
Sometimes the truth will really set you free...

Zee sigh
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alex_192
sarasota USA
Posted: Jul 23, 2008, 11:40 AM CST
Zeelander wrote:
Sometimes the truth will really set you free...

Zee


Allways the truth will really set you free...

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somechick
Somewhere,Ohio, Ohio USA
Posted: Jul 23, 2008, 11:51 AM CST
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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jampet
wexford, Wexford Ireland
Posted: Jul 23, 2008, 12:04 PM CST
yup- 'fraid ( most of) it's truerolling eyes rolling on the floor laughing
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DadofDucks
Wentzville, Missouri USA
Posted: Jul 23, 2008, 12:40 PM CST
mylifewithu wrote:
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
------------------------------------ -------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat

a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when

a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men?
until they can walk down the street with a bald head

and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.


That was so beautiful....I think Im gonna cry....crying

dancing banana dancing banana dancing banana dancing banana dancing banana
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Posted: Jul 23, 2008, 12:46 PM CST
lol, men die on average 7 years earlier than women because we put up with women our whole lifes. beautiful post... first laugh i had all daythumbs up
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Sofija
Kaunas, Aukštaitija Lithuania
Posted: Jul 23, 2008, 2:08 PM CST
Bravo!!!applause rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing bouquet of flowers
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alabamabebe
Banks of the Warrior River, Alabama USA
Posted: Jul 23, 2008, 2:46 PM CST
In response to:
Women will never be equal to men?
until they can walk down the street with a bald head

and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

That's the funniest, just cause it's so true!

Course I've seen some women out at the store that could fill that bill!
:shudder: 400 lbs stuffed into a 200 lb spandex sack! dropping jaw
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mylifewithu
springfield, Missouri USA
Posted: Jul 23, 2008, 2:48 PM CST
alabamabebe wrote:
That's the funniest, just cause it's so true!

Course I've seen some women out at the store that could fill that bill!
:shudder: 400 lbs stuffed into a 200 lb spandex sack!
thumbs up Very true, I have seen some of those women around here toolaugh laugh cheers
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ANurse4U
Memphis, Tennessee USA
Posted: Jul 23, 2008, 2:51 PM CST
rolling on the floor laughing
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Dont_Look_Now
Huntsville, Alabama USA
Posted: Jul 23, 2008, 3:37 PM CST
mylifewithu wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men?
until they can walk down the street with a bald head

and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
peace
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mylifewithu
springfield, Missouri USA
Posted: Aug 20, 2008, 12:34 PM CST
I seen this on the banner, I have just got to bump it up. It's funny!!


I love this one:

How do you know when
a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'
laugh
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Hugz_n_Kissez
Someplace, Ontario Canada
Posted: Aug 20, 2008, 12:36 PM CST
mylifewithu wrote:
I seen this on the banner, I have just got to bump it up. It's funny!!I love this one:

How do you know when
a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'



professor I think it's just because of all that lust and hormones...rolling eyes uh oh! dunno laugh
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Texas singles
jlw45
chandler, Texas USA
Posted: Aug 20, 2008, 12:37 PM CST
whats wrong when your wife keeps comming out of the kitchen, fussin' atcha'?....her chains too longprofessor
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