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My girls (13 & 14) tell me I'm way too possessive (I prefer to think "protective") because they are not allowed to go out with their friends without adult supervision (I make it a point to talk to the adult that's accompanying them). They say that if it were left up to me, I'd even check out the pedigree of their friends...not quite true but almost there. Do you have that problem too????

Nope my kids were and are aloud to meet their friend I had a drop up and pick up point for them, mind you that only started once they hit 13 before that no way. I think at 13 and 14 what you have tried to teach them should have been planted in their heads by then.

The more you hold them back I gurantee the more trouble you are going to get from them.

You have to allow them freedom, for them to make mistakes and learn from them.

i have 3 daughters when a boy came over to ask my oldest daughter out
i stuck a shotgun between his legs and said son speak up i didn't hear you
all he can say was i have the wrong address
that was the last time a boy ever came to ask 1 of my daughters out

I'd even check out the pedigree of their friendsWhat does this mean?

background what kind of family they came from

Its their way of saying I'd check out the family history/tree -.mother/father....grandmother/grandfather....great-grandmother/great-grandfather....great-great grandmother/great-great-grandfather...

....and I thought I was bad...

My stepdad did something similar....no wonder I'm still single

Oo it's so hard to get the balance right isn't it. Knowing when to release a little more rein.

My kids do have quite a lot of freedom.. but more down to where we live.. There isn't a huge amount for them to do .. or many places they can go here. So I can practically stick my head out the window (I don't btw lol) and shout them to find them.

I always try to think.. hmmm.. if I let them do that now.. what do I have to give them next year?.. and the year after etc.. because they will have already done it. So I often do keep the reins back a little.

I think I am pretty easy going and lenient with mine .. I try to be fair. But they still complain sometimes that .. 'Everyone else's mum lets them blah blah blah' ..

and I think yeah.. that's because 'Everyone else's mum is in the pub get plastered and doesn't give a toss where their kids are..

But I do think it's hard to get the right balance.. I do agree with Tina in that if you don't take a deep breath sometimes and let them do a little more than you would like.. then they are possibly more likely to do it anyway and just not tell you.

We had a festival here recently. I kinda like right in the middle of it.. the little town is closed off to traffic and the children are all scattered about all over the place having fun with all the stalls and music and stuff.

My (just) 12yr old son called me and said.. 'Mum .. can I have some alcohol?' ...

I said 'Errrmm.. no'

He said.. ' Aaww mumm pleeeease'

I said ' Ermm.. Noooo you can't'

He said.. ' But all my friends have some' (and named them all)

He told me some of the parents had given it to them.. and was he allowed to drink some of it too.

I said 'no.. I'm sorry honey but you are only 12yrs old.. your body is too little for alcohol.. it's illegal.. the police are everywhere today.. if you get caught we will all be in big trouble..I really don't want you too'

He said.. 'Aawww.. ok.. well I'm going to buy a new cap gun then'

(haha)

I said .. 'Oo okay' ..

It just made me laugh that he called me (so young) and ASKED me.. bless'im.

If that would have been me at that age.. my parents wouldn't have known a thing until I came home legless.

OO blimey I didn't release I wrote that much..

realise*

I hear you. Thanks girl.
Maybe coz of you they'll get lucky and I'll let the strings slip a bit.

But you gotta understand that its very different out here in the sense that most kids do not move out till they are ready to marry. So if that be the scenario, we are talking a good 10 years here. If I give them their freedom now, what the hell would I bribe them with (when I want something done) in the coming years??

He told me some of the parents had given it to them.. and was he allowed to drink some of it too. That's just Bloody wrong.

Yup thats my 'motto' too..

I knowwwww .. I couldnt believe it.

It stuff like that pisses me off. Because I always end up looking like the mean parent.

ohhh dont you worry I had my own little ways of making sure they were where they said they were. The things with kids is when you bust them they look at you as if too say OMG how did you know that. ermmmm Hello I was your age once too. I say to them there are no tricks you can pull on me that I didnt try to pull on my Dad

Nope i received a call from ambers Dad taht she went to a party and got drunk at 15 and aparantley the parents where encouraging it................................thank god I live quite a distance away I was frigin

Crazy isn't it..

I see it all the time in this town, young kids out drinking big parties at houses with kids 13 and 14 parents are there couldnt give a shit. Now thats when I say no freakin way you are going over my dead stuffin body. I somehow think it makes the parents feel young and trendy, who the bloody hell knows.

And people wonder why we are so protective of our kids... for instance mine have a lot of freedom but like before I will let them stay the night at a friends house, I have to meet the parents in their home so I know exactly what kind of environment my kids will be staying in...you can tell a lot from just a short 15-20 minute visit to someones home