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I truely do not know what either sex wants anymore.Take it from an old hand at this and I do mean old,take it slow u may just be dodging a bullet,like I recently did.

Weird, I was just sitting here wondering why Sexy hasn't started packing to move in with me yet. Some people are just so commitment-phobic!!

Ok...when did you become me? I really want to know...lol I've recently been seeing a guy who's made the comment that it's going to take him time to figure out if we're a match & soul mates or not. I've basically agreed with him, but prefaced that with contact. You can take all the time in the world, but without contact it's not going to do you any good. It's like pulling teeth to get him to commit to any type of activity. Even this week, I wanted to try and get together before I head out of town for a week, but I haven't heard a peep from him....

And yet, the times when we are together he's very affectionate and appears to enjoy the time that we spend together.

So I'm just as confused as you are

Been there and understand that completly you sure that you didn't start talking to the same man ? lol

after the third time of no contact I kicked him to the curve told him not to contact me or my friends anymore, seems how I found that he had hit on them and been rude! But by no means should you do that! That was my just my situation with him! Same guy tried to contact me recently same ol' same ol' everyone knows how he acted and said i shouldn't even had replied and claimed that he was sorry for how he acted that he acted immature and that he had feelings for me and that he wouldn't hit on any of my friends if i decided to go out on a date with him again. lol... guess he didn't like my message back! Because he never replied!

Oh yea it confused me too way to much !

commitment phobic

Great advice Tina

Thanks Thomas its just my opinion though. A guy that comes on way too heavy way to soon is just a big turn off to me and I'll run a freakin mile.

you can look at it one of two ways
1. they just want to be friends with benefits
2.vacuum cleaner has no attachments

when it comes to a woman you have to take it nice and slow
one step at a time,when they are ready to take the next step
take it with them.in some ways a woman is like dancing
you have to let them lead while you follow'
but don't step on their toes


you might want to take them some flowers
evening if you have to pick them out of your neighbor's yard
cook them a candle light dinner
tell them how beautiful they are
cook them breakfast in bed
hold their hand as you are walking with them
hold them tight and never let them go

hey beautiful
i never said i could spell

i meant to say your vacuum cleaner has no attachments


i seen your picture and i forgot what i was going to say

Hello Z

stop looking at me like that

it is bad enough every time i see your picture
you make me forget what i was going to see
but i rather look at you
than remember what i was going to see

charmer..aren't ya bro..

no it's true
tell me it's not true

Absolutely, what I feel as well. Good explaination. :thumbsup:

Um, You said you were married for17 yrs and now divorced. I have to wonder if you have taken the time needed to let yourself heal. I mean the loss of a marriage or long term relationship is a big thing. I know many who moved too fast into another relationship. I kind of wonder if you are moving too fast b/c you say you are ok with no attachments yet you ask if you are moving too fast. You may be too newly re-singled and unconsciously still in a want to be married frame of mind. If that is the case and you are with a girl whom said she wanted no attachments, and you unconsciously act married when you are arround her but tell her you are ok with no attachments you are sending mixed signals. That will make anyone whom really means they want no attachments backpedal and withdraw.

Call me Old-fashioned, but why would anyone have sex with someone when they want no attachments? I feel that sex is a very sacred part of a relationship and should be only between two people whom wish to spend their lives toghether.

I think u answered the wrong post.The forum poster was married 17 and mentioned sex.I dont have sex unless I am married.

To me ”going slow” has 2 meanings:

A) “I want to get to know you before I commit emotionally, because I don’t want to rush into things and get hurt if I can prevent it by getting to know you first”

and/or

B) “I still want the liberty to date others until further notice”


If a guy wants to take it slow it’s fine by me. But then I won’t commit physically, because I’ve heard that sentence being used so many times as an excuse to sleep around. Sadly enough I’ve heard my own brother use it when he just didn’t want to commit to one girl or couldn’t decide which one to choose, which in addition makes me believe he didn’t really want any of them.

It also makes me think the person is not ready to commit in general and that can make me back off a bit. If one is serious about NOT wanting to be single, what is there to be slow about? A serious official date doesn’t mean marriage next Sunday and besides all growing relationships have to be on the terms of both individuals involved.
So if one has to make the statement to “go slow” I can’t help but think that person is not ready for a relationship and perhaps need more single time before committing (again).

I think it means: not rushing into a relationship but: **Let's get to know each other and if we eventually BOTH feel that enough chemistry is there and we feel right together**, then we can take things a next step further: ie. starting with No. 1: being exclusive......then move from there..

You said it in the right words: *I'm no mind reader*... so guess one should just communicate where he/she is at. It will save on anyone being misled or feel misled....and possible misunderstandings and heartaches.

Just my two cents!