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Well this is not my experience but a joke I thought you may enjoy.


Q. What are the three worst words for anyome to hear when they
are in the middle of making mad passionate love.

A. Honey I'm home.

I've had plenty of funny sexual experiences....everytime I asked my wife for sex...she laughed!!

oh, i got this one in the bag... let me start out by saying that i am not a promiscuous person. i lost my virginity to a beautiful girl at the age of 16...well things didnt work out and 5 years go by... now i am out of a horrible relationship... i happen to be in town and thought about her, so i decided to stop by where she use to live. yep, she still live there... i knocked on the door and there she was... except now....she had gained 200lbs! making the grand total of 331 lbs. big girl for the age of 22... well, i had gone to her house with the intention to go out on a date.... it was too late to back out now, so we went to the movies. Of course i had to get her popcorn, because she might have starved if i didnt so we are watching the movie and i reach into the popcorn bag and of course where else is her hand going to be... i was trying to get some beore she ate it all ( lots of fat jokes in this story) ... so she grabbed my hand to hold it... now what is the harm in this i said to myself... i didnt see anything wrong with it...it was out of pity, but anyway the day goes on and she ends up getting invited to a family reunion by my father...i was trying to get away at this point, but with no success. So i have had a few drinks and it is getting dark...she then cleverly mentions that she has bad eyesight at night and cant drive home... and i cant drive her because i will not drink and drive...so my father invites her to sleep in the guest room... the same room i am staying in... i am horrified. i am now trying to get sober ASAP, but i could not ....so slightly drunk i went to the guest room and starting watching a movie... i was a few minutes into it when she stuffed herself through the doorway... barely fit... then she lays down on the bed next to me... i didnt even have time to react before she rolled herself on me...ive never NEVER seen a fat girl move so fast in my life... well now i am pinned... and she is kissing me... i cant roll this woman off of me and i think that if i say no she could possibly rape me considering the size difference...so i go with it... its dark, and i didnt see anything, suprisingly it was good..real good....or maybe i am drunk i think to myself... the next day i am baffled and decide that i have to try it sober to see if i was right to think it was good. the next night i get out of the shower... ( same place same time) ad she is waiting on the bed attempting to strike a sexy pose wearing pajama pants that have cows on them...so fitting i thought to myself...why am i doing this?...but i couldnt stop myself, so we start making love...except i find that many positions with this woman is structurally impossible, unstable, and even dangerous to my health. Well, i decided that if i am going to do something i am going to do it right. so i went down on her...she had not shaved since 5 years ago i swear... and i couldnt find it... i did not know what fold was which and i almost suffocated...when i finally finished everything i went into the bathroom to wash my face and there was about a 4 inch long pubic hair pasted to my upper lip...then the realization kicked in of wat i just did and puked everywhere...she then proceeded to offer me dinner...of course food after sex, lol

ROFLMFAO

you only laugh because it does not haunt your dreams

personally, I find your references to overweight people ofensive.


The story was funny in it's content...but certain references "barely fit through the door" I find to be offensive and insensitive to many overweight people!!





JMO...of course!!

i apologize that some of my references offended you... i just really get into that story when i tell it. i will try to be more politically correct

I knew when I was reading this story that someone would be offended because the woman's weight is central to the story, etc. But that's the problem...it is central to the story and a large part of what makes it funny to you. I suspect poor Josh has not heard the end of it.

It's really difficult sometimes to follow all the new political correctness rules - especially before coffee. Sometimes people just want to be kids and play... I'm not judging either way here...but I don't think the INTENT was to be offensive.

JMHO

Nice of you but not really necessary.

Fat, skinny, short and tall etc
Hey we come in all shapes and sizes.
Direct and personal ridicule is of course offenseve and should be avoided.

But we ALL need to just lighten up
enjoy life and
laugh everyday

Oh...I whole heartedly agree. No offense was intended. I just know some are sensitive about their weight. I tried to portray that I thought his storey was funny! No offense was intended. And I hope I didn't offend him or anyone else by my post!!

Might be noted here that I offend people on a daily basis. The difference is I don't care!! Whereas, he seems like a nice guy, that would care!!

I know, Ship. The only reason I even took the chance to respond was because I knew you were just being honest and not attacking... I thing YOUR intent was just as well-meaning....

think!

I know this, too...

My ex and I were doing doggy style while watching the Boston Celtics on tv come back from 26 point deficit and win game 4 in the NBA finals.
Both the f***ing and the game were emotionally draining.
And after the final buzzer went off, so did we.
I'll never forget it.
It was awesome!!

Gotta love the Celtics

Ship............ Get over it......... We are not responsible for another's "feelings"....

When someone says something I find offensive, I have to look at me as to why..