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Daughter!! This doctor's knee is still not too decrepit to accept your full weight in preparation for much-needed "spank" therapy!!

Anythig is possible with me Doc.. I will make attempt to get the book. Hell, I have my own Doctor for the last 20 years.

Something in the book struck me as rather applicable to your case, Tufty:

"If you choose unavailable partners, then you are choosing relationships that already have a built-in sense of distance. And you have a clear-cut pattern of falling love with people who are, to all intents and purposes, unavailable, then, much as you may deny it, it is questionable whether you yourself are truly available for commitment...."

"...It's the classic scenario. You live in New York, your beloved lives in L.A. You have great weekends together six times a year. Your phone bill is outrageous. It may be romantic, but there is too much fantasy and not enough reality...."

I may need to solicit the services of the *real* Auntie in order to handle the anticipated caseload, X...

Them's my favorite kinds, Al.

Not quite.

The one before last... lovely... Randy as a bag of sex starved rabbits... and just an hours drive away....

Alas... She had an ex nearby that liked to get people checked out by social services.( I had a clean sparkly bill of health and an apology from them) messed her up so much while with him that she walked away from a million £ a year business just to escape.....

So every 2 1/2 months to more or less the day she suffered commitment phobia and locked herself away for a couple of weeks wanting nothing to do with only to get in touch asking to attempt again... after a year of that the nerve fibres where worn to a pulp.. so she wasnt (as far as I know...) getting jolly randomly.. just to headscrewed to move forward... 2 steps forward. 5 backwards.. start again!
and you cant really knock headturning wowser attraction, wherever it may appear?! Tho... I am a lot more tentative nowadays.... probably far to much so!!!!


Ermmm...

I guess this really isn't helping the old appearance much..
But the old saying goes it pays to be honest

An interesting quote from the book:

"Usually those who are emotionally unavailable give you plenty of warning up front. They may actually tell you they can't handle commitment. They may be emotionally elusive... They may simply be unable to give that much, and this becomes apparent very quickly. They may be...a little too hard to reach, too hard to find, too hard to pin down, too hard to keep around. In short, too distant, too controlled, too unavailable. A man or woman who behaves this way is warning you that he or she is afraid of intimacy. Why would keep trying unless you're afraid of intimacy, too?"

Anyone here know someone like that? Or could it be YOU??

Yep...that's me.

. . .

Well, Linda, I don't usually like to discuss my education credentials due to non-disclosure forms I was made to sign before being allowed to graduate...but suffice it to say that I received my masters at B*$(*#& University, and my doctorate at F!@*$*(& University...?

whats it say about picking short women? A thing I noticed about myself, so I have switched to redheads since the short thing doesn't work

One of many interesting quotes from the book, about the role of fantasy in romance:

"Most people say that they don't have unrealistic fantasies, that they are prepared to accept mere mortals as their mates. They tend to forget that when we fantasize, we think not ony about how our future beloveds will look and behave, we also think about how we will feel when we are with them. We think about bliss and trust and sexual desire that doesn't stop. Even when we are prepared to accept our mate's imperfections, we are not prepared to accept our own everyday feelings of irritability and fatigue. We expect to feel close and bonded and perfectly at ease with each other - all the time. We certainly don't expect ever to feel bored, amibivalent, anxious, or annoyed. If any of these emotions surface, the fantasy is destroyed."

As an aside, I find it interesting that threads about sex draw a massive response, while threads about the serious issues of actually creating and sustaining a romantic relationship tend to sink like so much deadweight - this while soooo many people here constantly puzzle over what the heck has gone or is going wrong with their relationships.

I'm not feeling annoyed by this - I love the light banter (especially about sex!!) myself - just find it rather interesting. Do most of us truly believe that we can have good relationships without actually putting in large amounts of self-reflection? I have to say, that is my honest impression from what I've observed here and elsewhere.

I really find that interesting.