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Good idea Skimpy thanks - its crazy this - if it was anybody else I would be full of sound advice

Easy when it's somebody else, isn't it?
Hey, am I still allowed to have an online crush on you?
Your big hulking yank,
Bob.

Morning Trish (well it is here anyway) Not a member of cs-That's a good start (lol) He's not me, that can't be good. ha-ha
seriously, because it sounds like you've had some bad experiences in the past that you attribute to you own judgement you'd probably question any choice you make. It's part of who you are at this point. It's O.K.!! You don't need to make up your mind after one meeting. You'd be unwise if you did. He dosen't expect you to either. You'd probably scare him off if you did. It's a good decicion on your part. Confusion is O.K. too. You've got a lot of emotions running though your head, some of which you might not have felt in a long time. relax. Not sure if you should"go for it" ? You don't need to "go for it" It's not a parachute jump, at least not at this point. Try to treat it like a train ride. Get off at the next station if you don't like the scenery.
The fact that his life style suits you is HUGE, at least to me. Keep in mind, the guy was probably nervous as a long tail cat in a room full of rocking chairs on his first date with you. I would have been. He may be a lot different on the second date, more suitable (that is to say, the bits you don't like may dissapear or diminish) He's not going to be perfect, thats not even the question. The question is wether or not your perfect for each other.
Rush of attraction? You think your confused now, just imagine...... your probably lucky to be under control.
Go on a second date. give the guy a chance. We're not talking about marrage here, just a second date. Show him my picture. Tell him if he's not a perfect gentleman, I'm going to kick his ass and take you for myself.

Your buddy, bob

The whole rush of attraction comes out of desperation. Relax and give yourself some time to get to know this man. Who knows? He just might turn out to be your best friend.

thinking ... it'll drag ya down and mess you up ... stop it!!!!!!

I would take your time. If there is one thing that I have learned is that no matter what the other person has, you still many not love the guy.

I dated a guy that had a house on a couple of acres, he was good looking, played music, and he really liked me, but there was no connection. I tried, but it did not work.

thinking ... it'll drag ya down and mess you up ... stop it!!!!!!

Ok, lets look at this biologically.

He has his veil? Regardless of what it is, it is there, we all have our self protection modes.

The fact that he is respectful of his previous partners. would be something that I would find attractive, much better than bitterness and anger. We all have pasts and those partners that were involved in our lives, have contributed to who we are, I really do not have a problem probing about a person's past, it where we go from here that counts and part of getting to know a person and what they are all about.

This man sounds lovely Trish, as for you living up to it? Up to what? You are not getting married or planning to move in with him, those are your issues, not his and something you have to work through as you get closer to him, if you do.

That is fear and your insecurities, get through those, if he likes what he sees then he will not be thinking that, he could well be thinking that you are exactly what he wants. Shoooo those insecurities away, send him a text and thank him for a lovely evening and that you look forward to doing it again.

That is my view. And that is exactly what I would do.

Ya woked up then?

if it aint the devils own advocate himself Mornin Al

ok, so, my little CS family...... I have issues to deal with today and could really do with your help....

I met somebody yesterday, he isnt a member of CS..........

there are lots of things I like about him but the whole encounter has left more questions than its answered.......

I have been wrong in the past so to a certain extent, I have to be wary of my own judgment and the other thing is that I know I dont have to make my mind up after just one meeting......

does that whole rush of attraction have to be there from the start or will it grow on me? theres a lot I like about the guy or I wouldnt have even had one date, is it gonna take a few or at least one more date to know this or what - Im confused, I like the guys lifestyle, it would suit me down to the ground, but Im sure not going to go for it on that basis - maybe this is just a close call................

I dont know if the bits that I didnt like are down to a first meeting being a bit like an interview - aaaarggghhhhhhhhhh

Yes, its good and natural that there was a veil and I do have enough self confidence to know I will be able to get through that but this is messin in deep waters.........

we had a game of scrabble that lasted about 4 hrs, it was lovely and all the while we kept forgetting the game and talking about lots of things which had influenced our pasts, I didnt work to an agenda or structure conversations, it just came out naturally and one of the things which impressed me most was the way he was respectful of his ex's - theres no doubt that this is a nice guy I have met and I think you are also right in that I have to face my own insecurities......

I took your advice and sent a text saying thanks for a great afternoon and I hope we get the chance to talk again........

Yes, its good and natural that there was a veil and I do have enough self confidence to know I will be able to get through that but this is messin in deep waters.........

we had a game of scrabble that lasted about 4 hrs, it was lovely and all the while we kept forgetting the game and talking about lots of things which had influenced our pasts, I didnt work to an agenda or structure conversations, it just came out naturally and one of the things which impressed me most was the way he was respectful of his ex's - theres no doubt that this is a nice guy I have met and I think you are also right in that I have to face my own insecurities......

I took your advice and sent a text saying thanks for a great afternoon and I hope we get the chance to talk again........

Trish, it's your 1st date with a guy... let it be, go with the flow - you don't have to move-in together next week, right? Enjoy, don't overanalyze it (I know I always do too!), you DO NOT know him yet so why to drive yourself insane trying to answer all these questions. It is not possible at this stage of the game.
1 (hypothetical) question can be answered though : NO, that whole rush of attraction doesn't have to be there from the start, some attraction is fine and YES ppl DO grow on each other with time when things go well - very much so.

Good luck

Scrabble is a great way of getting to know a person, I like a man who can articulate himself.

Another requirement of mine.

Good for you Trish, oooh, I am all excited for you now, I hope he responds. He sounds delightful.

The veil thing sounds like he's just protecting himself from further hurt. As for the game of scrabble, honey there is your clue. You just sound like you are afraid. There is a certain comfort in being single. Restlessness when you finally do find someone. It's funny how we think that we have put our past behind us and are secure within ourselves until we meet a terrific guy and all the crap we have endured starts to wash over us like a tidal wave, things long passed and forgotten. As for the attraction part, it could just be that your inner self is killing it without you knowing it. You sound scared and that is not a bad thing to be at this point. I would relax, and enjoy. He sounds like a terrific guy, and I know he's getting a one in a million woman.

The veil thing sounds like he's just protecting himself from further hurt. As for the game of scrabble, honey there is your clue. You just sound like you are afraid. There is a certain comfort in being single. Restlessness when you finally do find someone. It's funny how we think that we have put our past behind us and are secure within ourselves until we meet a terrific guy and all the crap we have endured starts to wash over us like a tidal wave, things long passed and forgotten. As for the attraction part, it could just be that your inner self is killing it without you knowing it. You sound scared and that is not a bad thing to be at this point. I would relax, and enjoy. He sounds like a terrific guy, and I know he's getting a one in a million woman.

Yes but theres the rub - Im frightened that the lifestyle may be what is attracting me - I think you may know how appealing a little cottage in 3 acres of national park would be to me, a couple of miles from any roads and I could play in the garden till my little heart was content..... he's built windturbines, the water is from a spring etc - its just my ideal lifestyle.............