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Yes they are...but meaningful for me at this stage is something beyond just sex....I want the whole thing and I am willing to wait for it........

Are you calling me a dog????????

Lust itself is something beyond just sex

It would because you accept the imposition as the authoritative axis in your operating stances.

Yep we wouldnt be any where with out our assessment abilities, even if they are as wide ranging as there are people who have them .... but is it a healthy control mechanism was more my point.

Hey Al...please analyze this...thanks.

I have cravings, but I am not horny. I have come to a point in my life that I don't want to make love until I am in love. My horny days are over, not like they ever existed...

I was never the love em' and leave em' type. But I wanted to...something nagged at me that it was just wrong for me. Like I said, opportunities never really came up that often to act out on them.

yep all hail communication !

no, it was a pavlovian response to being 'firm' .. in your stance

The one I described /my self imposed moral code/ is a very healthy control mechanism (to me). Life proves it over and over again.

Yes it is....but it's based more on the physical side of one another...I am like Ken...I want to make love to someone I am in love with...that would bring me much more satisfaction....

I have all I can handle try to analize myself, which is why I make these threads.

I get what you're saying (except for the not horny part )

I myself have some difficulty separating passion from love and maybe its because I want more than just sensual bliss, but I also have this, what seems foreign and paradoxical to my own percieved needs, to have pure sensual encounters in a loving way, without the encumberance of 'relationship' status. Seems to me thats what real love is. Like I said its a paradox for me.

I have had the experience, but the caviat is that they were people for whom I felt love but knew we were impossible live-in companions. Knew that if we took bigger steps, that too much of a good thing would become a bad thing ... making sense?

Yes we'd all like that very much. But in the beginning, is it not enough just to want someone with every fiber of your body, enjoy their company and have fun while seeing if it turns into love? I don't get making yourself wait till you know you're in love forever, I don't know if we ever really even know that.

So you want to be passionately in love with someone without all the strings attached of a relationship. Being blunt here, you want to make love with someone you really care for, and not be in any type of relationship status. Isn't that almost impossible to find? A woman would have to be in the same mind set as you.

not just making sense - happens too often. It's "know-it-all" age

It is...but for me I would rather wait to see how things go first...before I become emotionally invested...it's not easy for me to keep the 2 seperate.....no we don't always know where things will go....but I would rather wait a bit to see before becoming intimately involved these days....that's just me and where I am right now!!!!!!!!!

that's the bottom line

The problem and realisation is that nothing is forever, never has been, or we woudn't be on singles site. A bit sobering to think about really, but again it becomes the 'amount of time' consideration. We dont want to be alone, but we'll stay alone to ensure that we'll have some 'chance' at togetherness for a longer period?? Quite contradictory.

devil may care huh Bev ..

For me it's not about not being alone...the fact that I am content with who I am makes all the difference...I want to spend my life with someone but I also don't want another dysfunctional unhealthy relationship. I have had 17 years worth of those so I am holding out for the healthy, loving relationship that I have always wanted but never had....and I can't be bothered with the in between anymore!!!!!!!

Why is it some people seem to be looking for guarantees or assurances that they'll have "love" and "forever" before anything else happens. Your odds of going to Vegas and becoming a millionaire are better, by far!
Sure it's better when you're in love, but if I like and respect the person, and also lust after them, with the possibility of there being more, then why not.

Not afraid of rejection, been there and survived My reputation according to who? I like myself and so do some others, good enough for me. Self imposed moral code, yeah, I don't sleep around or with just anybody.

Sometimes I'm inclined to make the first move and others I don't even see it coming until I'm being clubbed and dragged off to her cave.

Life's short, live a little.