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I joined this after being hurt once too many times. I'm now 54. Why is it, that I fall in love more deeply now, that I'm older? And why does it hurt more, the older you get? Any thoughts on this?

just my two cents cause as you grow older you get more afraid of being alone

I think cajun hit it on the right track....I find myself settling for less than I probably would have when I was younger....just for companionship.....means alot when you get our age....think there should be more oldies single clubs....here all the good men are either married or buried.....and one of my favorites is in St. Ignace, Mich. I feel like men are like parking spaces....all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.....(the ones our age).....so not many choices around these parts for an oldie smoldie...lol....

I'm not afraid of being alone, and I can't say that I settle for less anymore. It's just a crappy feeling, to invest so much in a relationship, just to be told, that "it won't work", and "it's time we moved on".

I don't believe I fall in love more deeply, now that I am older.

I give more thought to the odds of continuing to love.

At this age, I think more about "long term" relationships instead of thinking about temporary fun & games like I used to when I was in my twenties.

LOL

I was working on one for three years

Because at our age we have learned to value and appreciate love for what we once thought I should be, and can be, yet for some of us has yet "to be". Love is an equal giving and recieving. It's commitment and understanding and once love is lost, even though the hurt is there, the realization of what our feelings inside are truely the want to recapture what was never honestly there still lives within our hearts and souls.

I am waiting for the answers to these questions myself. Only want to love again for the last time. Good luck to you .

I think/hope it's because we're less superficial and more realistic, we understand better what's possible as far as depth and connection, and we want that...if we let ourselves go there, instead of shutting off our hearts as we get hurt, as we grow older.

Why does it hurt more...?

Hmmm...

I don't know if it does generally, or maybe we're just afraid of being alone, and that seems more likely to happen when we lose a relationship as we get older.

whats funnie bout my answer

Me either tho I'd rather have a mate/spouse but I won't settle. Probably why I've not dated much, I don't wanna "invest" if they're not truly who I deserve.


I see many folks, especially women..."settle" for someone less than who they deserve because they think..."any man is better than no man"...so untrue!

I think as we age we become wiser about life, love-etc. We've also "been there-done that" & know what we want. As we age we're also more open hearted...well most of us anyway.

I also don't believe that I love more deeply now than I did when I was young. I was always capable of loving completely to the very core of my soul. Nothing has changed for me in that regard.

Although, I was never interested in the fun and games even when in my twenties which was probably my nemesis. From a very early age, even my late teens I always thought in terms of an ever-lasting permanent relationship. I wanted to be married and settle down when all my friends were more interested in running around partying.

I think it's so ironic that of all my friends I'm the only one who never married. Of course, they were all divorced several times by now. I'm certain that they didn't go into their relationships with the kind of love I had to offer. I have no doubt about that at all. They were all very self-centered with respect to their relationships, definitely not "partnership-oriented" like I had in mind.

Our maturity and understanding of a love in a relationship changes as we age..... our love grows stronger because we appreciate it more as we age

So true but sadly...many abuse this & take advantage of another!


Remember...you get what ya give!