Don't ever tell her: Yes Dear !

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hollandgirl Kelowna, British Columbia Canada
HondoLaneNJ: Well, IMHO, you are right! There does seem to be a concerted effort aimed at the "metrosexualization", or what I call the de-balling of the (not just) American male! You *do* see it in many commercials and sitcoms, where men are portrayed as bumbling idiots who can't do a single thing right. This is an agenda driven event pushed on the populace by forces who see men as "oppressors" in the world...and in the home.

I, personally, don't buy into it...probably why I am single LOL. I just can't be the mamby-pamby, girly-man that many women seem to want or expect, because they watch too much TV. I don't even *have* a TV anymore because I became disgusted with the propaganda pushed on the public years ago...I'm a man dammit!! A nice man, mind you...but still a Man! (Well...minus one leg so...I guess 3/4 of a man)?!!!



Having one or two legs does not define you as a man.
Knowing who You Are does!
From the above reading you seem to know who you are very well.
teddy bear
riyablossom somewhere .. , Pennsylvania USA
hmm i havent read the entire thread and apologise if i am repeating whats already been said.

In some aspects i a still very conventional and believe in the traditional " male " role esp. when it comes to family and spouse. I still would prefer to look up to him as the family's support pillar and mine too , someone i could look upto and be comforted by . I have absolutely no qualms about accepting him as someone better equipped to handle certain aspects in life.

umm .. certain things which i like about the modern outlook ( the equal rights era ) its nice to know that a man listens to your views , respects your intelligence and independent thought and gives consideration to you as you to him. That he knows treating a woman with love and dignity is an essential requisite of any healthy relation.

On the other hand , i do no believe in respecting or giving some sort of superior treatment to someone cos he is a man. I believe a man is a man by the virtues he posesses and the behavior and attitude he displays. The respect is earned not taken for granted.


jbibiza Ibiza, Islas Baleares Spain
Zazalee: And how old is your little brother?

And why does he need to be nurtured so much?

I would not use this type of men with issues such as soooo easily taken advantage, as the type of man to take as an example for anything.

He is a simple man who went from under his mother's skirt under his wife's to hide from the world.

I am not so sure when he will hit 50 or 60 that he will say the same things about his wife.? HOw he loves that she is looking after everything?
What will he do if she dies? Find another one to look after him ?I feel so sorry for your brother.



And if the genders were reversed I´m sure you would think it was just fine, he is 46 years old.

It´s this gender stereotyping that creates so many problems in the world... what is wrong with a "role reversal" if it suits both people in a relationship?

My brother is a nurturer... he is amazing with children and runs a teenage youth group through his church... he has more empathy then almost anyone I know. He also holds down a very well paid job in a casino. The fact that he´s not a hard ass, puts to much trust in people, and can be a bit disorganized in the running of a household... bill paying, getting the gardener in, taking the car to the mechanic...

His wife happily takes on these duties in return has a wonderful man who brings her breakfast in bed, brings her little presents and loves her absolutely.

He is not hiding from the world but embracing it... sometimes to his detriment. While it´s not a relationship that would suit me... I´m so happy that they found each other and share in a loving committed relationship.

The person I feel sorry for is you.... that you´re so narrow minded that unless happiness exists within your narrow guide lines, you´ll never see it.
jbibiza Ibiza, Islas Baleares Spain
HondoLaneNJ: Well, IMHO, you are right! There does seem to be a concerted effort aimed at the "metrosexualization", or what I call the de-balling of the (not just) American male! You *do* see it in many commercials and sitcoms, where men are portrayed as bumbling idiots who can't do a single thing right. This is an agenda driven event pushed on the populace by forces who see men as "oppressors" in the world...and in the home.

I, personally, don't buy into it...probably why I am single LOL. I just can't be the mamby-pamby, girly-man that many women seem to want or expect, because they watch too much TV. I don't even *have* a TV anymore because I became disgusted with the propaganda pushed on the public years ago...I'm a man dammit!! A nice man, mind you...but still a Man! (Well...minus one leg so...I guess 3/4 of a man)?!!!



Not every woman, or I dare say very many women really want a namby pamby , girly man. Some of us want equal partners to share the burdens and joys of everyday life.

From reading your posts you are a lot more man then some of these blustering "have my dinner on the table" types that try to take control rather then allowing a woman to submit some control because she trusts and loves her man
Hugz_n_Kissez Someplace, Ontario Canada
Zazalee: To all Man:

Be yourselfBe the man kind you were ment to be and don't let the woman kind direct you in any other direction. Follow your wild and animal instinct. Until you decide to take control again over the over powerful Woman kind, you will continue to be a little puppet in our homes.

Woman have fraught for the equality so much that now men are too submissive to all woman's needs. In the work place, in the home place, in the community.

They have no more place, we took it all and TELL them were to sit.
Have you looked recently at any commercial representing a family. All men are treated like stupid idiots ! He did not do the laundry right, or took the kid's music to the trash... anything to make him look silly.

Man are not dogs or idiots, they are a wonderful creature that we have to preserve the way they were ment to be. Your Muse.




How about this...instead of always lumping things into the men vs. women category we treat each other as the individuals that we are....none of us fit into the stereo-types and divisions that have been written for us over time...we are all unique people period.....as for equality...your darn right I expect to be treated as an equal in my relationships...but that means an equal amount of giving and putting into the relationship what it requires to make it work.....no one person can carry an imbalanced relationship nor should they have to....without the other feeling resentments.....so do what it takes...or don't do it at all!!!!!!!!



wine
riyablossom somewhere .. , Pennsylvania USA
BTW .. wrt the OP ...

All men ... treated like idiots ohh stupid ones and we took allllllll their place etc ... its point blanc generalisation must say ...

I dont think its in anyway awkward or little for a man to do laundry or raise kids .. i sorta admire single dads .... sooooooo its tooooo situation based... depending on the other partner. .. how she is , what she does , what both in of u are willing to put into the relationship .. etc etc.

Anndddd somehow ermm maybe men dont need a wakeup call to be men ( IMO uh oh! )
StressFree small city, Kalmar Sweden
Zazalee: How can you 'complete' something your equal too? I hope men and women will never be eaual! This is another i strongly dissagree.

No ones complete anyone, you are what you are and the only thing that a man or a woman can bring to each other is only extra...

We are complete form the moment we are born.. We are changed after that by our society and environmental and most of all, unfortunately, our Mothers.

Have you noticed how much more submissive man that were raised by only woman are?

I agree that for too long, man was superior to woman in many cultures and still is in some.. But in other countries, woman has become just as superior and abusive.


A union between the divine male and the divine female should not be underestimatedscold

Yes. Earth has gone through many, many, many thousands of years with the women being subjugated and the feminine energies being suppressed. Supposedly, this is the time that both will be equal. Numerology states this as well as Astrology. And I believe it. The male and female divine energies will join and this will make for a harmonious being. Everyone can be a harmonious and peaceful being when these energies are in balance. The new age WHAT!

The energies have not been in balance and they have been for thousands of years. That's why there are so many problems in our world. Just take a peak at divorce rates and our medicated world to deal with this. The yin and the yang are so out of balance, it's really ridiculous.
The root of the problem can vary among different circles. In my opinion, it starts with oneself being out of balance.

Once we all can individually be in balance, then this gender misunderstanding can finally fade. Love is the key. Love is the supreme power. And that is what we need to feel in our lives. What we need to give to each other and feel for each other. But it must start with loving yourself first (not in a narcissist way). In a respectful and understanding way.

I like the teaching of Jesus when it comes to love. Any atheist would be a fool to call this a tool for controlling the masses! I am not looking at anybody in particular...lollaugh



BnaturAl Sarnia, Ontario Canada
StressFree: A union between the divine male and the divine female should not be underestimated

Yes. Earth has gone through many, many, many thousands of years with the women being subjugated and the feminine energies being suppressed. Supposedly, this is the time that both will be equal. Numerology states this as well as Astrology. And I believe it. The male and female divine energies will join and this will make for a harmonious being. Everyone can be a harmonious and peaceful being when these energies are in balance. The new age WHAT!

The energies have not been in balance and they have been for thousands of years. That's why there are so many problems in our world. Just take a peak at divorce rates and our medicated world to deal with this. The yin and the yang are so out of balance, it's really ridiculous.
The root of the problem can vary among different circles. In my opinion, it starts with oneself being out of balance.

Once we all can individually be in balance, then this gender misunderstanding can finally fade. Love is the key. Love is the supreme power. And that is what we need to feel in our lives. What we need to give to each other and feel for each other. But it must start with loving yourself first (not in a narcissist way). In a respectful and understanding way.

I like the teaching of Jesus when it comes to love. Any atheist would be a fool to call this a tool for controlling the masses! I am not looking at anybody in particular...lol


Just slap some butter on that, it'll go down easier.


wink
StressFree small city, Kalmar Sweden
BnaturAl: Just slap some butter on that, it'll go down easier.


That's what she saiddancing banana cheering

and on the first date....
lanabyte Charleston, West Virginia USA
I agree. I want a man who will stand up to me and tell me when he thinks I'm wrong and tell me why.



Zazalee St-Hyacinthe, Quebec Canada
riyablossom: BTW .. wrt the OP ...


I dont think its in anyway awkward or little for a man to do laundry or raise kids .. i sorta admire single dads .... sooooooo its tooooo situation based... depending on the other partner. .. how she is , what she does , what both in of u are willing to put into the relationship .. etc etc.

Anndddd somehow ermm maybe men dont need a wakeup call to be men ( IMO )



I agree with you , but how do you feel about the woman that TELLS her man to go do the laundry? and he goes and does it wrong and she is still complaining about the fact that he did not do it right?


This is what I am trying to say: Too many of us, woman, do not treat man right and it must stop.

And what about that brother that cannot do anything by himself. Again, what will he do when his wife dies? Perhaps he is very happy now , and that is awsome , but what will he do when he has to think by himself. If she would love him realy, she would teach him the things he is not good at. And he would be wiser and less dependent, he would take in her help in becoming a better human. I am sure he is good at something she is not, his knowledge can be shared as well.

Everything must be balanced. Otherwise, one or the other will suffer in the end.

I am convinced that the human kind is a wonderful kind and CAN be equaly balanced in mind and spirit.

How can you say i have a narrow mind? I am all about listening to the other one's needs for him never to feel inferior or stupid. As well, I expect the same. Perhaps in the past I was for sure very narrow minded on that aspect and without realizing it, i sufficed our relationship because I was older than him and once he wanted to think on his own, i could not understand what was happening. A man is a wild being and will always be. Let him feel it and never try to suppress it.





jbibiza Ibiza, Islas Baleares Spain
Zazalee: I agree with you , but how do you feel about the woman that TELLS her man to go do the laundry? and he goes and does it wrong and she is still complaining about the fact that he did not do it right?This is what I am trying to say: Too many of us, woman, do not treat man right and it must stop.

And what about that brother that cannot do anything by himself. Again, what will he do when his wife dies? Perhaps he is very happy now , and that is awsome , but what will he do when he has to think by himself. If she would love him realy, she would teach him the things he is not good at. And he would be wiser and less dependent, he would take in her help in becoming a better human. I am sure he is good at something she is not, his knowledge can be shared as well.

Everything must be balanced. Otherwise, one or the other will suffer in the end.

I am convinced that the human kind is a wonderful kind and CAN be equaly balanced in mind and spirit.

How can you say i have a narrow mind? I am all about listening to the other one's needs for him never to feel inferior or stupid. As well, I expect the same. Perhaps in the past I was for sure very narrow minded on that aspect and without realizing it, i sufficed our relationship because I was older than him and once he wanted to think on his own, i could not understand what was happening. A man is a wild being and will always be. Let him feel it and never try to suppress it.



You are judging every ones relationships by your own idea of what a relationship should be, we are all different and have different needs from our partners. My marriage ended because I wouldn´t tell my husband what to do... he re married a very dominating woman and 23 years later they´re still married and he´s happy being told what to do and she´s happy telling him.

You need to allow people to be who they are regardless of what sex they are and stop trying to fit them into your idea of who or what they should be.



Zazalee St-Hyacinthe, Quebec Canada
I do listen now, more than ever. And is happy for these relationship that works outside of my guidelines or beleaves.

One thing is for sure in my mind, i will never beleave that a man that is dominated by a woman, will never have the urge to let his natural instinct out. And unfortunately, it might be out when his wife is not looking. instead of letting him feel that it is ok and allow him to be confirtable enough to share everything.

How many woman wake up one day and see their perfect couple just gone and they have no clue why? Oh but if you ask them, they will tell you that all was perfect, he was the perfect guy, did everything for her. And for no reason, one day he snapped and wanted to be independant.

I understand that not everyone is like that. But perhaps, in MY environement, my city and my country, alot of man and woman are like that.


jbibiza Ibiza, Islas Baleares Spain
Zazalee: I do listen now, more than ever. And is happy for these relationship that works outside of my guidelines or beleaves.

One thing is for sure in my mind, i will never beleave that a man that is dominated by a woman, will never have the urge to let his natural instinct out. And unfortunately, it might be out when his wife is not looking. instead of letting him feel that it is ok and allow him to be confirtable enough to share everything.

How many woman wake up one day and see their perfect couple just gone and they have no clue why? Oh but if you ask them, they will tell you that all was perfect, he was the perfect guy, did everything for her. And for no reason, one day he snapped and wanted to be independant.

I understand that not everyone is like that. But perhaps, in MY environement, my city and my country, alot of man and woman are like that.



Well I guess we just see relationships differently... to me being in a relationship means being able to be strong where your partner is weak, it´s about being able to depend on each other. I have enough independence living on my own, to me being in a relationship requires giving up a certain amount of independence and creating a team.
Hugz_n_Kissez Someplace, Ontario Canada
jbibiza: Well I guess we just see relationships differently... to me being in a relationship means being able to be strong where your partner is weak, it´s about being able to depend on each other. I have enough independence living on my own, to me being in a relationship requires giving up a certain amount of independence and creating a team.



I agree...there needs to be balance for harmony in a relationship...any imbalance brings strife...and it works both ways....one dominating the other doesn't work either way!!!!!!!!!

I live in Canada perhaps in Quebec it is more prevalent but not here in Ontario!!!!!!!!!


wave wink hug teddy bear bouquet of flowers
StressFree small city, Kalmar Sweden
Zazalee: I agree with you , but how do you feel about the woman that TELLS her man to go do the laundry? and he goes and does it wrong and she is still complaining about the fact that he did not do it right?This is what I am trying to say: Too many of us, woman, do not treat man right and it must stop.



Good point! Hi Zazaleewave Interesting posts on your part. The Force seems to be really strong in you. I have a good understanding for the male and female species.

About the laundry part. True, women do expect too much at times. Men as well. It goes both ways and when little things like that happens, women and men should not take it personal and just have some sense of understanding. Also, when little thing like that bother the women or men, then it's more of a problem embedded in the unconsciousness. Furthermore, control as well as the expectation of your partner making you happy on your terms to feed one's selfish desires based on false happiness plays a huge role in western society.
StressFree small city, Kalmar Sweden
jbibiza: You are judging every ones relationships by your own idea of what a relationship should be, we are all different and have different needs from our partners. My marriage ended because I wouldn´t tell my husband what to do... he re married a very dominating woman and 23 years later they´re still married and he´s happy being told what to do and she´s happy telling him.

You need to allow people to be who they are regardless of what sex they are and stop trying to fit them into your idea of who or what they should be.


Good point, not everybody can be categorized that easily. I have seen these types, the mommy complex in men.
kissmedeeply Asheville, North Carolina, North Carolina USA
jbibiza: You are judging every ones relationships by your own idea of what a relationship should be, we are all different and have different needs from our partners. My marriage ended because I wouldn´t tell my husband what to do... he re married a very dominating woman and 23 years later they´re still married and he´s happy being told what to do and she´s happy telling him.

You need to allow people to be who they are regardless of what sex they are and stop trying to fit them into your idea of who or what they should be.
thumbs up thumbs up thumbs up
Hugz_n_Kissez Someplace, Ontario Canada


Good evenin darlin....wave hug teddy bear hug lips bouquet of flowers
kissmedeeply Asheville, North Carolina, North Carolina USA
Hugz_n_Kissez: I agree...there needs to be balance for harmony in a relationship...any imbalance brings strife...and it works both ways....one dominating the other doesn't work either way!!!!!!!!!

I live in Canada perhaps in Quebec it is more prevalent but not here in Ontario!!!!!!!!!
hey shelley..Not here in NB either..hug teddy bear




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