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Yeah, the calling feeling. I did try to call this year

mail Claire? Do you have her password?

Ahh but email is the age we live in
Honestly.. try writing a heeewwge email... with everything you want to say. Everything you want to tell them.

If you don't have and email address to use.. just write their name in there anyway.

and when you have said all you want to say.. aim your mouse over the delete button..

turn away.. and click it.

haha no.. her husband has he email account now.. so I cant send to that address. (or he would see it all)

So I fake one.

We had this huge comunication thing in her death Claayer - I was with her for two weeks in intensive care then they were teling us in the last few hours (about 10 in total) that she was simply not gonna pull through - for a little moment of that time, I had said to them that she needed to be aware that we were there - so they eased off the medication long enough to for me to say to her about plans for the future - she squeezed my hand on that life support - oh and i love and misse her..............

I'd rather mail Tania and Sai then

and losing one of your children has got to be the worst.
I cant even BEGIN to imagine.

So beautiful Trish

Im sat here crying my eyes out Clayer, is this allc os I dont blieve in god or what????????????

Anger is a part of sorrow Trish,just don't let it consume you....

Perfume doesn't often smell the same on one as it does another Claire,but the gist is there,and whatever works is a help.... ...Each morning I pass my mother on the way to make coffee and I lite her a candle and have a few words,its what gets me by...:)

I am immune to anger - it plays no part in my make up thankfully - In not angry at a greatewr being, rather, I take this whole thinginto myself and wonder how I could possibly have served my daughter better..........

ahaha noooo.. absolutely not.. (tho some may disagree)

No it's not... it just hit you hard again today.

Even people that believe in a god has days JUST the same.



You got a message too btw.

but daughters arent supposed to die before mothers.........

Yep you are right... it doesn't.. and I can only smell her on me for the first few minutes..

hence putting it on so often..

You couldn't.. and you DO know that really.. You did everything you could. My mum was like that.. no matter what we did.. (everything!).. it still made no difference.

Trish, I'm sorry to hear of your losses, too.

Claayer, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, hon.

Trish, dear, it's ok to cry. It's always ok to cry. Who told you not to cry? Tears heal...cry them out. (It's actually documented scientifically even, btw...tears really do help us to release chemicals that lift our emotions afterward.)