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livinglarge: Haha now you are the one who doesn't know what you are talking about

Lonely1: This thread was started to get some feedback on how to keep the love that we are looking for alive. Once we find it.....

Or if we have it......

Or if we are the professors....

somechick: Being loving and sharing love keeps love alive. Being loving and sharing love means:

When each person learns to take responsibility for their own feelings rather than making the other person responsible for their feelings of worth, lovability, security, happiness, joy or pain.
When each person has their own and their partner’s highest good at heart. when we both support our own and our partner’s joy and well being. Both of us are considerate of the other person without giving ourselves up.
When each person chooses to be honest and authentic about how we feel and what we want and don’t want. That we are each willing to speak our truth without blame or judgment.
That each person stays open to learning about our own and our partner’s wants, needs, and fears, especially in conflict.
I think what keeps love alive is each person’s willingness to do whatever inner work is necessary to keep the heart open to loving and learning. Controlling behavior is motivated by fear – of loss of self and loss of other, of engulfment and rejection, of smothering and abandonment.

When each person is willing to do the inner work necessary to heal these fears, they are able to keep their hearts open more and more of the time. Love flows freely when hearts are open to loving and learning.JMO

Lonely1: Pity we live so far away. You are my kind of lady.

Dknew: If I knew this I'd still be in KY

somechick: Being loving and sharing love keeps love alive. Being loving and sharing love means:

When each person learns to take responsibility for their own feelings rather than making the other person responsible for their feelings of worth, lovability, security, happiness, joy or pain.
When each person has their own and their partner’s highest good at heart. when we both support our own and our partner’s joy and well being. Both of us are considerate of the other person without giving ourselves up.
When each person chooses to be honest and authentic about how we feel and what we want and don’t want. That we are each willing to speak our truth without blame or judgment.
That each person stays open to learning about our own and our partner’s wants, needs, and fears, especially in conflict.
I think what keeps love alive is each person’s willingness to do whatever inner work is necessary to keep the heart open to loving and learning. Controlling behavior is motivated by fear – of loss of self and loss of other, of engulfment and rejection, of smothering and abandonment.

When each person is willing to do the inner work necessary to heal these fears, they are able to keep their hearts open more and more of the time. Love flows freely when hearts are open to loving and learning.JMO

Hugz_n_Kissez: WOW...Beautifully put darlin and 100% accurate....

livinglarge: Thats a lovely sentiment , however love does not heal , one is supposed to heal oneself and then one can be loved and offer love unconditionaly !!

Lonely1: Yes. This is kinda what happened to me when I first fell in love at 18. I was a selfish fool who thought more about my emotions. Had no idea how to keep the love that was been offered to me.

livinglarge: But every one has had troubles when first starting out , my Lord you were only 18 !! I do believe there is someone out there for everyone , but I don't believe "love will conquer all" . Love has to be worked at for sure , If I love myself first , I can give first class to anyone ! Love is a choice too !!

Lonely1: Still trying to love myself. Have to be careful though. Have to be careful I don't give me what I really want: Nice house, fast cars, lots of girls, no work, [drugs, alcohol, party all night? hmmm.. not really], little sleep, MY way...... Sounds familiar?

Lonely1: ?

rwantin: From what I understand here in So Cal, you just buy her a new chest...