Well I had a moment of revelation this morning...

Which I will get to in a moment...
First off this was a very messy thread last night... that´s probably putting it mildly, and I was accused of a lot of things... of having a superior attitude of being insecure, of attacking people.
!. Feeling superior... I certainly hope that I have never portrayed that I thought I was better then anyone. While I have shared and taken pride in my achievements I have also been quick to share my moments of stupidity to the chuckles of quite a few of you and have no problem laughing at myself.
2. Being insecure... Well it´s just hard for me to reconcile the idea that I could "feel superior" to everyone and be insecure at the same time.... but I will admit that there are times I face insecurities... in reality I am quite a shy person and have battled that most of my life.
3. Attacking People... I can honestly say that I try to argue the post and not the person... but admit there have been occasions when something was said that really disgusted me... ideas of racism, extreme disrespect towards women that I probably did make a comment that was more personal then issue related, but I can honestly think of only 3 occasions where this has happened.
...and now I come to my moment of revelation...
To say that I was shocked at the personal attack on me last night doesn´t begin to say how I felt, and to be honest I really couldn´t understand it... this came from someone I didn´t know, that I didn´t think I had ever had any kind of contact with... but on reading the exchange between him and Sparky I realized that this was the man who posted the windup thread that was extremely disrespectful in attitude to both women and soldiers and yes I did say some pretty nasty things... but if you post a thread with the explicit purpose of pissing people off then I think you should be prepared for what ever responses you get... and they do say that humour often has a lot of truth to it.
On hind sight am I proud of the comments I made on that thread? No, I allowed someone to bring out the worst in me. Now that I realize the attack was made in response to what I posted on that thread and not a response to what was just a simple comment about not all Muslims being extremists it does make a bit more sense to me... but I still don´t see it as justified
If this person had something to say regarding my post on his windup thread then it should have been dealt with there... to lay in wait with the express purpose of attacking me on another thread I find to be cowardly at best, but if it made him feel better for having done it... then so be it.
Thank you Luscious and Irishlass for the words of support and thank you to those who wrote to me with good advice and the hugs I needed... very much appreciated.
The one good thing that came of all this is that I do realize I have become far to serious and intense and I do miss some of the really good times I´ve had on CS that were filled with laughter and flirtation and so I will attempt to avoid "issues" and work on finding some good sexy funny things to start threads with.
Hope you are all having a good day and I wish you all the best.
Jacquie