i got home from work wednesday morning.
[i work third shift]
i felt like i was having a panic attack.
for no reason at all.
i called my mother to talk to her about it.
my little brother, who is a freshmen in high school and lives with my mother, walked into the room my mom was in and began demanding my mothers attention.
since the phone is pretty loud i could hear everything and it was very clear.
brother: "mom remember my friend josh?"
mother: "yes, what about him?"
brother: "his brother blake died this morning."
already in a fit and crying i began to scream at the top of my lungs and fell to the floor shaking so badly i couldnt stand.
my brother and this boy josh have been friends since they were in first grade.
thus ive known the family since.
his brother, blake, who passed away, and i became very close also as he was just a year below me in high school.
blake is the one person who knew me inside and out, better then i knew myself, if you will.
after i graduated blake and i drifted and i found it harder and harder to find time to see him.
blake was a senior in high school, 18 years old, perfectly health boy, honor stupid, drumline leader for our schools marching band, played soccer and baseball, a real allstar to say the least.
he had an air pocket in his brain the ruptured tuesday night while he was in the bathroom after a shower.
his mother found him around 1130pm tuesday night unresponsive, he was rushed to the hospital and pronounced dead at 1204am wednesday morning.
i havent felt so terribly since my grandmother passed away.
theres so much i want to say to him.
so many things he will never know.
its only been a few days and i already miss him so much.
i havent slept since tuesday morning before work.
and everytime i eat i get sick.
i cry nonstop.
everyone is telling me, crying wont bring him back, and this i know, but i cant stop crying.
RIP B.A.V- i miss you terribly, you'll never be forgotten, pinky promise. i love you.
