druidess6308: It's ok, Lush.
The short version...from the ages of 15-20 I went through 4 attempted rapes and 3 actuals. The one who brought something to light that was buried, I had known since I was 3...I was 19 and engaged to him when that happened, and he wanted anal sex, which I couldn't do, and I didn't know why. He did. He had broken up the molestation that way that happened when I was 7...by his brothers, no less...and the one favor he did me that night was triggering the memory, which allowed me to eventually heal it.
That, folks, is the story, or at least part of it, of the Phoenix on my back. It's why the flames start on my @$$.
Sorry Sweetie you went thru that , I dealt with a father constantly trying to molest me. And I lost my virginity in a rape at a party, that guy was married I was 18 and a virgin. But he put something in my drink cause I haven't ever blacked out from a few glasses of wine and I remember fighting him off me when I woke up the next morning.
I do have some hangups about sex but not many with my true partner in making love.,