jonahstrials: DCJ,Hope Floats and others...thanks so much for your empathy. It was the most important court hearing of my life and I wish I had the best lawyer,but I didnt. I mean,I understand lawyers don't want to fight,make waves,etc...but in my case with all the crap I have been through in the last year,I needed one that was willing to fight for me,not to go with the flow. I hate to digress on this thread,but one poster talked about my Mom? and me wanting to look after Myself? My mom lived in a different city and I haven't lived with her since I was 18yrs old? Also,the notation about my saying I have to look after myself now...it so true. I have only done everything for my kids for the last 10yrs. I don't regret one second of it,and I know it will come back to me...but NOW I have to actually learn to care for myself again,like I did before they were born and before I got married. I will always love my kids and care for them,but I DON'T CARE for them now...meaning,I can't take them to school,doctor,etc. like I have been for so many years. It is the same thing I had to do when I got divorced...look after me. It is hard for some people to do that...I am so much into caring for certain people and it is hard to LET GO! We have to or we will be crushed like I am now. Losing my Mom and my kids in 2wks is soooo much to handle at one time. I hope most people are close to their Moms,you only have one...and your kids,you only have them. Picking up the pieces is going to be the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Bill Murray comes to mind..."baby steps",I need to take baby steps,not jump into something. I believe moving is the best thing to do first,not out of the state or country,but out of my current address. Would love your thoughts on that. BTW,I am Wayne,jonahtrials is my username and my son....perfect,huh? jonah...trials
I understood what you were saying. I'm close to my parents too. In fact they went to every single court date with me, which really helped because I was always a bundle of nerves.
Like you, while I had my kids, everything I did was for them. I think having to get used to a quiet house was one of the hardest things I had to do. For the longest time, after losing custody and visitation, I had taken all their pictures down. They're back up now.
So yes, baby steps. Moving would be good, as long as you make sure Jonah knows how to contact you. I'm still in the same state, but I'm like 3 hours north of were I used to live. My decision to move was made after the youngest told me he didn't want to see me anymore. So moving & getting away from people who were always asking about him seemed the best thing to do.
Picking up the pieces IS hard, but you do it. You have to continue on for the day when you're son is able to make his own decisions. Hang in there Wayne.