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Well, in my area, the kids have to be age 12 IF the court chooses to listen to what the child wants and IF they think the child is mature enough to decide for themself. Still alot of IFs there...............

In most states the law is 12,but it is really up to the judge you have. My judge has told other people that the kid has to be 18,but never stated an age with me. Funny thing is,the courts consider my 10yr old to be old enough to be at my ex's house by himself,but not old enough to decide who he wants to be with? Go figure...

What is wrong with you?????? why are you being so nasty?? this guy who seems like a stand up guy who had a good relationship with his mum and who appears to care deeply about his kids is hurting right now and you somehow think it is appropriate to kick the book in.... u nasty little man!!

Thanks friend,you saw how much attention I gave his comment...like a cheater shows jealousy,same applies here...He probably lives at home with his parents. I never asked anyone for help,but it is good to know that there are CS members that do show compassion. I just pray he doesn't lose his Mom,it is a very sad thing indeed.

I am not in Australia, to make it clear, I live in Austria.

And I am talking about UK Family Law.

I can see that you are hurting, you are writing all what you have lived through... During this, but you now need to take this and turn it around.

I applaud that you do not discuss it in front of the children, however, if they ask questions then answer them...

Without prejudice.

I know the courts will do what is easiest, they do not like the difficult cases, so the difficult ones they make the decision that is easiest for them.

Were your children interviewed? By a guardian ad litem?

Did your lawyer, put forward your case in how you had supported, loved and cared for your children? There was a case, with two sides put across and the children's wishes would have been taken into consideration.

You are talking about the past and you need to look to the future now, it is done, fighting it in your own mind, is something that is wasted energy...

Hey sympathise wiv ya, most cases th women win, I won custody of my kids way bak in 84, british justice gave me 10p per year for each child- move on n fought a custody with hague convention for my daughter, won this to and 4 $17,000 told had done nuthin rong, stay wiv it truth and karma always go around

As long as you were not violent or sexually abused your children in anyway, I sympathise with you, as would most men who have been in your situation. I use to help out as an counceller for D.A.D.S - Dads after Divorce. it doesn't exist anymore being now part of F-in-F. (but look at Dadsdivorce.com - its an american site...and dads-uk.co.uk)It seems that even 20 years later the family court and the child welfare people who are 99% women only still believe that women are capable of looking after children.... and if you have daughters then no chance...Their mother can be the worse person on this earth , a murderer, phsyco, you name it but being a man in their eyes is worse
You can fight through solicitors, I suggest that you find a sympathic woman solicitor, they are more likely to fight your corner then a male one, but you need a bottomless pit of cash.

Take heart I had no contact with my daughters for years but once they were able to leave home (ie to go to Uni) then I think you will find they will find you. You can take out a court injunction to stop your ex taking them abroad outside the Eu .. but you may not win. Harrassment with your ex will only get you into more hot water. Sadly its a battle - but one worth waiting for even if you end up loosing so much of your childrens growing up.

I wish you well, keep fighting, keep correspondence etc letters etc so one day you can show your children you did try and keep in contact with them. One guy I have kept in touch with, just this xmas after 25 years of not seeing or hearing from his son his son has finally manage to track him down and have communicated with each other, albeit only over email, but its a step... so keep hoping.

Good post.

Also families need fathers is a good website...

Thanks friend for the info and advice. I was just thinking about what the Fathers who don't fight for their kids get...THE SAME THING...interesting anyway.

Doesn't sound like he was living off his mom, sounds like his mom and his kids were his life and with them gone, he now has to live for himself. He doesn't know how to deal with 2 losses.

You usually have 30 days to request a new trial- did you not do this?

Florida like Texas allows 12 yr olds to make the choice. In Texas if a 12 yr old signs an "Affidavit of Choice of Managing Conservator" then the judge has to articulate a really good reason to override it. An example would be duress or being paid to sign one. Did this occur in your case?


This isn't the place to get advice- as your time would be better spent reading the relevant sections of the Florida Family Code and its probably online.

IN Texas without an emergency you can file a Motion TO Modify after one year.


If you can show the law is I wrote in Paragraph 2 and the judge didnt follow it, that's good enough for a Motion for New Trial/and or appeal.

................

My divorces were friendly and we are good friends - I got the kids most of the time and my pet.. I know this will impress everyone Alex Possum ALL THE TIME!

LOL Good luck

Thanks for the help friend,my son will be 12 next year and I will do as you say. I know he will still want to be with me. My daughter will also,but she will only be 10 next year.

Don't worry about the girl being only 10 because:

A. Courts do not like to separate children and if the 12 yr old goes with you...

B. A decent attorney will be able to find ways to let the court know that the 10 yr old wants to be with you two even if they don't allow her to testify directly. It may be as simple as - the boy talking about "We" or relating something he saw where either he wasnt treated well and she was there or that he saw something negative done to her..

I'm assuming you're really serious about this.

Go to the courthouse and find out when contested custody cases are taking place in that court.

Attend! and look for the following:

Which attorneys can argue well?

Which ones does the judge like and dislike?

When you see a case end - talk to the client and ask if you may call her or him later to ask about how they felt about their attorney.

This is much better than asking for recommendations: people recommend their friends.

A week-long cruise to the Bahamas?

Ok so much for the serious legal advice...


Now lighten up a bit and write a thread saying on the advice of my online attorney to assist in my custody case I am looking for

A stable person who wants a relationship that will last until my next court date

Each applicant must list all arrests and visits by Child Protective Services.

Must look good sitting in the witness chair....

and since you're going to be so busy

Ill go with Lacali on the Bahamas Cruise! Psst I lived in Cal - went to undergrad at Berkeley.

I think I need to agree with you on this one? Something isn't adding up ..... there are always 3 sides of the story.... your side, her side and somewhere in there lies the truth. I feel for both sides of any parent's custody battle. I have 3 children that I raise on my own, their father doesn't even bother with them none the less help to support them financially... so there really are losers all over... most of the all the kids.. who need to grow up with both parents...

After haveing 8 years to think about this (since my divorce) I have stopped blaming the court for taking sides (his or mine) in a custody battle. I think that part of the problem is that more parents than not will go into the court with bad intentions... make up lies, stories, basically say anything they need to to make the other look bad. And the judge sits and listens to story after story, lie after lie and really has no way of knowing who is telling the truth. Eventually he/she needs to go on their gut, is this the right thing? Probably not but what else do they have to go on.... divorce is tough and you couldn't pay me enough to sit on that bench and decide the lives of children...

I am going through the same thing...... Just hang in there as everyone says. It is more stressful then anything else in the world, because like you I want the best for my little babys. There mom got preg. by some guy so not only can she take care of two, now she has a third one.... It always seem's like just because the mother gave birth to the kids that she gets everything handed to her... Not in my life will she ever get anything handed to her by the court system.. I will fight tooth and nail to have them. They are what I live for....

does the justice depend on wheatehr you have good lawyer or not there? woow that is scary