Avoiding a breakup

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Steveno Mumbai India
Sun Dec 21, 2008 7:16 AM CST : Avoiding a breakup
What do you think is the cause of most break-ups between couples?

lack of communication , if distance is involved , then lack of sex , unfaithfulness, lack of trust , interfering family members and friends , one person or the other being too demanding too soon ( aka wanting a total commitment.) too many fights, not wanting to change for the other person , no matter how small that could be

doh
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dreamAngel70 Kilkenny, Kilkenny Ireland
Tue Dec 30, 2008 4:21 PM CST : Avoiding a breakup
Steveno: What do you think is the cause of most break-ups between couples?

lack of communication , if distance is involved , then lack of sex , unfaithfulness, lack of trust , interfering family members and friends , one person or the other being too demanding too soon ( aka wanting a total commitment.) too many fights, not wanting to change for the other person , no matter how small that could be
well it wasn't lack of communication! maybe the rest! sex, lack of trust! he's a jeaous mas, demanding, few figths(shuting)changing me, selfish! Now I'm glad i'm single laugh still looking for Mr Right thumbs up
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gozoman2 Xaghra, Gozo Malta
Tue Dec 30, 2008 4:27 PM CST : Avoiding a breakup
people change....

priorities change...

distance grows until it's two different journeys one is trying to reconcile....which is impossible to do.

wine
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babymilo Wollongong, New South Wales Australia
Tue Dec 30, 2008 7:49 PM CST : Avoiding a breakup
I think the most common cause is deception by the other partner. Usually when either or both partners are blinded by selfishness. I've come out of a long evolving breakup and have had time to ponder the stages of why and how this occurred. I was deceived by my partner. Foolishly I allowed this to happen by not challenging this earlier.

Key to me were the themes of making promises and not delivering. Undervaluing the others contribution, trying to change their partner usually by blackmailing them emotionally.

Relationships are built on mutual respect. The worst is when a partner withdraws intimicy as a punishment or behaviour modification ploy. Often that partner who is doing this cannot see that this is akin to being unfaithful. It is the most selfish thing a partner can ever do, and sets in train the break up phase.

I see 3 stages in the death to such relationships.

Loss of intimicy (the unfaithfullness period)
Loss of respect (the fighting and belittling other partner)
Loss of love (the breakup period)

Once all three stages are complete then it game over.. the realtionship is DEAD.

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jvaski south lake tahoe, California USA
Wed Dec 31, 2008 1:19 AM CST : Avoiding a breakup
Humans not meant to be monogomous........... very simple wink
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jlw45 saratoga springs, Utah USA
Wed Dec 31, 2008 1:24 AM CST : Avoiding a breakup
Steveno: What do you think is the cause of most break-ups between couples?
the biggest problem with that is, getting connected in the first placeprofessor rolling on the floor laughing
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Marseilles Somewhere, Indiana USA
Wed Dec 31, 2008 8:48 PM CST : Avoiding a breakup
Steveno: What do you think is the cause of most break-ups between couples?

lack of communication , if distance is involved , then lack of sex , unfaithfulness, lack of trust , interfering family members and friends , one person or the other being too demanding too soon ( aka wanting a total commitment.) too many fights, not wanting to change for the other person , no matter how small that could be


You've basically stated all the reasons I would come up with in my answer.
Then again some people do not take relationships seriously and end up loosing the person due to lack of acknowledgment.
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Big_John Ocean Springs, Mississippi USA
Wed Dec 31, 2008 8:52 PM CST : Avoiding a breakup
I'm not the person to answer this. I haven't ever broke up with someone in my life. I felt in love with this woman and we were together almost 40 year when she died. If I had to guess I would think lack of communication would be the number one reason assuming you haven't given her a good reason to kick you to the curve. I found as long as we talked everything else worked itself out.
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