Ill admit it Im scared

Ambrose2007 Badger, South Dakota USA

Mon Dec 22, 2008 4:27 PM CST : I'll admit it....I'm scared

gozoman2: That is the whole point......what do you mean for THEM?

Should read for ME (i.e. you)

Anybody who feels you should be doing things for them is not worth the bother......

It's about sharing.....not subjugating....

It's not subjugation to have some expectations of your partner. And it's not all about being Mother Teresa for them, either. Both partners in a romantic relationship ought to be willing to do things for each other. If one isn't willing or able to achieve some rough parity in those terms, then problems will ineluctably follow.

Dawn7z SALEM OR,DENVER CO, Oregon USA

Mon Dec 22, 2008 4:27 PM CST : I'll admit it....I'm scared

pretzelman: Many have wondered why I am on a dating site, if I am not looking for a partner. I have asked myself the same question.

Although I present myself as a mean old man, there is a reason. I mean other than the fact that I am a mean old man. I am scared of relationships.

People say they want honesty...so here it is!!

When I say scared, I don't mean scared for me. I am scared for the other possible mate. I run them off(yes, believe it or not, a few have expressed interest) more to protect them from me.

But here are a few of my fears in relation to relationships.

First, and foremost is money. So self respecting woman wants a guy with no money. Now, don't tell that lie about money means nothing to you!! You'll get coal in your stocking for that!!

Health issues. I have a lot. Too much to burden any woman with. Let it go at that.

Fear of losing my independence. I like being free

Possessions...I have none. And I do mean none! No house, no car, no nothin'

It's good when we can be real with where we are at isn't it. While I am not a model or young by anyone's imagination and I don't make good serious relationship material at this time I think that I could be good friends with someone but even that seem to be hard to find offline friends. Easier to find a date than a good friend.
For the negative I am middleaged, about 30 lbs overweight, do not have a great job and am a definite underachiever.
Sometimes I am goofy so if someone is into appearances then we are not a good fit.

You throw out all these negatives about you Ship but there reality is that you are just "stripped" of all the trappings like a lot of us are. So hopefully any woman you might hit it off with as a friend or otherwise is going to see "you" and want to be with "you". I don't think men and women give each other credit enough sometimes. Yes there are people out there who wouldn't date you because of all these external reasons but there are women whose lives you would brighten up by being the funny, spiritual man that you are.
Last but, not least...the physical aspect. Although many women say looks and outward appearance mean nothing, remember that coal I talked about in the beginning of this post??? Be honest,,,you wouldn't date Quasimoto!!!

I stand back and look at me, a 58 year old man. And I think, if I were a woman, would I want to get involved with this man??
A resounding....HELL NO!

So do any of you give yourself an inventory to see why a person should want you as a partner??? Or do you only see good in yourselves and believe a person is crazy not to want you??Serious answers, please. I want to hear about YOU, not what I think of myself. Do YOU do an honest assessment of yourself?

O.K>...now I will shut my "mangina"

Dawn7z SALEM OR,DENVER CO, Oregon USA

Mon Dec 22, 2008 4:29 PM CST : I'll admit it....I'm scared

It's good when we can be real with where we are at isn't it. While I am not a model or young by anyone's imagination and I don't make good serious relationship material at this time I think that I could be good friends with someone but even that seem to be hard to find offline friends. Easier to find a date than a good friend.
For the negative I am middle aged, about 30 lbs overweight, do not have a great job and am a definite underachiever.
Sometimes I am goofy so if someone is into appearances then we are not a good fit.

You throw out all these negatives about you Ship but there reality is that you are just "stripped" of all the trappings like a lot of us are. So hopefully any woman you might hit it off with as a friend or otherwise is going to see "you" and want to be with "you". I don't think men and women give each other credit enough sometimes. Yes there are people out there who wouldn't date you because of all these external reasons but there are women whose lives you would brighten up by being the funny, spiritual man that you are.

immanuelle My city, Zuid-Holland Netherlands

Mon Dec 22, 2008 4:30 PM CST : I'll admit it....I'm scared

In response to: Many have wondered why I am on a dating site, if I am not looking for a partner. I have asked myself the same question.

Although I present myself as a mean old man, there is a reason. I mean other than the fact that I am a mean old man. I am scared of relationships.

People say they want honesty...so here it is!!

So do any of you give yourself an inventory to see why a person should want you as a partner??? Or do you only see good in yourselves and believe a person is crazy not to want you??Serious answers, please. I want to hear about YOU, not what I think of myself. Do YOU do an honest assessment of yourself?

Hi Ship,

I have not been on the forums long enough to know how to take your assessment of yourself, but from what I have seen of your writing, you seem like a pretty genuine and nice guy, not trying to impress the world. That’s admirable. In answer to your question, I try to make a reality check of who I am and it depends on the day. I think I have a lot to offer, but I know that often it is on my terms which is probably really annoying to any potential mate. I can be super nice, but I can also be a super bit**. I like to get my own way. At this stage in my life, I will not be a financial burden to my mate, but this can also make me arrogant about my independence. I try to make myself a better person in dealing with others, but am also very set in my ways…..We are none of us perfect I think, but only ever hope we can find someone who can accept that and love, or at least like us for who we are...I hope I can find that again one day. But if I don’t, then it will be lonely, but I will still keep on keeping on. I suspect that no one is as beautiful as they think they are (on those arrogant haughty days), nor are they as ugly (them chocolate eating grey track pants fat clothes days)….

Wishing you a peaceful Christmas Ship.

Hugs.

Ambrose2007 Badger, South Dakota USA

Mon Dec 22, 2008 4:31 PM CST : I'll admit it....I'm scared

LACali: This is simply the reality of the situation. You can argue with me all you want (and I realize you're trying to be supportive) but people want what they want and most are selfish. I work and that's about all I can do by the end of the day I'm in pain and exhausted and many times on the weekends I'm still exhausted yet I haven't so far met someone who accepts that or is willing to do something to help me. Hence I'm still single-yes I've dated quite a bit and this is my experience.

Exactly. Romantic relationships aren't principally altruistic in nature (nor would we want them to be...who would want to be loved as a charity case?), and it's a simple fact that some quid pro quo is involved. To think otherwise is to indulge in pure - albeit nice-sounding - fantasy.

Sparky55 Kabul Afghanistan

Mon Dec 22, 2008 4:32 PM CST : I'll admit it....I'm scared

Sometimes I fear I may end up in a similar situation a few years down the road. I've ben fortunate in life thus far but my job and the travel that goes with it makes it really difficult to find a woman who would put up with it. And it wouldn't be fair to ask. I've thought about trying to do something else but then I would be changing who I am and I like the work I do and the person I am. It's just a real pain in the ass in the relationship department as I hate to start something I know I can't follow through on. Who knows what life will bring? The clocks ticking on all of us.

But you know what ship? You're a good guy and as much of a pain in the butt you can be at times, good guys, regardless of age, stomach size, lack of wealth or health problems are not easy to come by.

sxc666 Central Coast, New South Wales Australia

Mon Dec 22, 2008 4:32 PM CST : I'll admit it....I'm scared

dcj22: You promised not to mention that now that we're a couple. You know I like to think I'm Mother Theresa. Admit it. It turns you on when I wear the habit.

Dana please not in front of everyone

I like you with the bunny tail on better

Ambrose2007 Badger, South Dakota USA

Mon Dec 22, 2008 4:32 PM CST : I'll admit it....I'm scared

sxc666: No Ambrose you gorgeous, dainty, feminine lady. It's not you.

kitty01 Morinville, Alberta Canada

Mon Dec 22, 2008 4:36 PM CST : I'll admit it....I'm scared

Me and Ship should have hot affair, maybe it would cure my arthritis with all the action. And all the exercise will also make me walk normal again, it is a miracle.

druidess6308 Reverse, Pennsylvania USA

Mon Dec 22, 2008 5:00 PM CST : I'll admit it....I'm scared

Sparky55: Sometimes I fear I may end up in a similar situation a few years down the road. I've ben fortunate in life thus far but my job and the travel that goes with it makes it really difficult to find a woman who would put up with it. And it wouldn't be fair to ask. I've thought about trying to do something else but then I would be changing who I am and I like the work I do and the person I am. It's just a real pain in the ass in the relationship department as I hate to start something I know I can't follow through on. Who knows what life will bring? The clocks ticking on all of us.

But you know what ship? You're a good guy and as much of a pain in the butt you can be at times, good guys, regardless of age, stomach size, lack of wealth or health problems are not easy to come by.

Thank you, Sparky...that's my point. I prefer a good guy to any of the outer trappings, including looks and "stuff".

Dawn7z SALEM OR,DENVER CO, Oregon USA

Mon Dec 22, 2008 5:06 PM CST : I'll admit it....I'm scared

Really you need to find those at the same place you are at without the trappings themselves or maybe who have some to realize that having someone else to pal around with or be romantic with is better than being in pain all by yourselves lol.
You both bring up good points though.

sassy49senior Itty Bitty, Nebraska USA

Mon Dec 22, 2008 5:06 PM CST : I'll admit it....I'm scared

Well here I go Pretzie, Yes dammit I know everyone else still
calls you ship, but if that's what you still wanted to be
known as, you would not have changed it, right?

I have stated on here many times what you see is what you get.
Yes, I do live in a dreamland, that someday he will come along
and want me just as I am. When I have to come back to earth and
face reality that is all it will ever be is a dream.

I do not work. I live in a HUD apartment, although I think it
is very nice here. My income is SSD, and my medical is
covered by medicare, medicaid.

I am no beauty by any means. I have MS, LUPUS, ARTHRITIS,
DEPRESSION,ETC.

I do have a nice vehicle that my kids bought when I was with
Nick as they wanted to have peace of mind when we did have
medical appts. that we would not break down.

I bloat like a pig when I have to take the prednisone for the
lupus. Many of you saw my pic. when I posted it after having
a breast biopsy. I have very large breast and they do cause
some back pain.

I am BBW and see no end in sight for that. I do try to flirt and
joke around on here as I believe this is as far as I will
ever get in a relationship. I feel the same, if any guy ever
sees me naked and still says he loves me, he has a rock
loose upstairs. But hey I will devour him one more time
before he takes off.

I still stick to my guns so to speak on this one matter Pretzie.
If your life ever gets you so down and you just need a place
to hide out for awhile, I have this place. Not for falling in
a tangled web of passion(LOL) but just because I call you
friend, and that's what friends do. After all is that not why
you are in Vegas right now?

Dawn7z SALEM OR,DENVER CO, Oregon USA

Mon Dec 22, 2008 5:08 PM CST : I'll admit it....I'm scared

sassy49senior: Well here I go Pretzie, Yes dammit I know everyone else still
calls you ship, but if that's what you still wanted to be
known as, you would not have changed it, right?

I have stated on here many times what you see is what you get.
Yes, I do live in a dreamland, that someday he will come along
and want me just as I am. When I have to come back to earth and
face reality that is all it will ever be is a dream.

I do not work. I live in a HUD apartment, although I think it
is very nice here. My income is SSD, and my medical is
covered by medicare, medicaid.

I am no beauty by any means. I have MS, LUPUS, ARTHRITIS,
DEPRESSION,ETC.

I do have a nice vehicle that my kids bought when I was with
Nick as they wanted to have peace of mind when we did have
medical appts. that we would not break down.

I bloat like a pig when I have to take the prednisone for the
lupus. Many of you saw my pic. when I posted it after having
a breast biopsy. I have very large breast and they do cause
some back pain.

I am BBW and see no end in sight for that. I do try to flirt and
joke around on here as I believe this is as far as I will

You are a kind, humble lovely woman. Whoo hoo girl hope that man comes along.
ever get in a relationship. I feel the same, if any guy ever
sees me naked and still says he loves me, he has a rock
loose upstairs. But hey I will devour him one more time
before he takes off.

I still stick to my guns so to speak on this one matter Pretzie.
If your life ever gets you so down and you just need a place
to hide out for awhile, I have this place. Not for falling in
a tangled web of passion(LOL) but just because I call you
friend, and that's what friends do. After all is that not why
you are in Vegas right now?

sassy49senior: Well here I go Pretzie, Yes dammit I know everyone else still
calls you ship, but if that's what you still wanted to be
known as, you would not have changed it, right?

I have stated on here many times what you see is what you get.
Yes, I do live in a dreamland, that someday he will come along
and want me just as I am. When I have to come back to earth and
face reality that is all it will ever be is a dream.

I do not work. I live in a HUD apartment, although I think it
is very nice here. My income is SSD, and my medical is
covered by medicare, medicaid.

I am no beauty by any means. I have MS, LUPUS, ARTHRITIS,
DEPRESSION,ETC.

I do have a nice vehicle that my kids bought when I was with
Nick as they wanted to have peace of mind when we did have
medical appts. that we would not break down.

I bloat like a pig when I have to take the prednisone for the
lupus. Many of you saw my pic. when I posted it after having
a breast biopsy. I have very large breast and they do cause
some back pain.

I am BBW and see no end in sight for that. I do try to flirt and
joke around on here as I believe this is as far as I will
ever get in a relationship. I feel the same, if any guy ever
sees me naked and still says he loves me, he has a rock
loose upstairs. But hey I will devour him one more time
before he takes off.

I still stick to my guns so to speak on this one matter Pretzie.
If your life ever gets you so down and you just need a place
to hide out for awhile, I have this place. Not for falling in
a tangled web of passion(LOL) but just because I call you
friend, and that's what friends do. After all is that not why
you are in Vegas right now?

Dawn7z SALEM OR,DENVER CO, Oregon USA

Mon Dec 22, 2008 5:10 PM CST : I'll admit it....I'm scared

You are a kind lovely humble woman Sassy. Whooo hooo hope some guy comes along and sees how wonderful you are.

jbibiza Ibiza, Islas Baleares Spain

Mon Dec 22, 2008 5:16 PM CST : I'll admit it....I'm scared

Sparky55: Sometimes I fear I may end up in a similar situation a few years down the road. I've ben fortunate in life thus far but my job and the travel that goes with it makes it really difficult to find a woman who would put up with it. And it wouldn't be fair to ask. I've thought about trying to do something else but then I would be changing who I am and I like the work I do and the person I am. It's just a real pain in the ass in the relationship department as I hate to start something I know I can't follow through on. Who knows what life will bring? The clocks ticking on all of us.

But you know what ship? You're a good guy and as much of a pain in the butt you can be at times, good guys, regardless of age, stomach size, lack of wealth or health problems are not easy to come by.

You might be surprised Sparky... sometimes a woman likes to miss her man.

I used to say a merchant marine would be the perfect husband for me... gone for 6 weeks home for 3...

Especially as we are all getting older and more set in our ways... for some the idea of somebody being around 24/7 can be frightening.

hopefloats Slim's Lady, Tennessee USA

Mon Dec 22, 2008 5:29 PM CST : I'll admit it....I'm scared

Let's all have a group hug!

immanuelle My city, Zuid-Holland Netherlands

Mon Dec 22, 2008 5:31 PM CST : I'll admit it....I'm scared

hopefloats: Let's all have a group hug!

Count me in please. I need a hug right now.

hopefloats Slim's Lady, Tennessee USA

Mon Dec 22, 2008 5:34 PM CST : I'll admit it....I'm scared

immanuelle: Count me in please. I need a hug right now.

Me too.....

vinny1967 On Tour, Devon, England UK

Mon Dec 22, 2008 5:34 PM CST : I'll admit it....I'm scared

immanuelle: Count me in please. I need a hug right now.

cardsfan24 somewhere in paradise, Illinois USA

Mon Dec 22, 2008 5:35 PM CST : I'll admit it....I'm scared

pretzelman: Many have wondered why I am on a dating site, if I am not looking for a partner. I have asked myself the same question.

Although I present myself as a mean old man, there is a reason. I mean other than the fact that I am a mean old man. I am scared of relationships.

People say they want honesty...so here it is!!

When I say scared, I don't mean scared for me. I am scared for the other possible mate. I run them off(yes, believe it or not, a few have expressed interest) more to protect them from me.

But here are a few of my fears in relation to relationships.

First, and foremost is money. So self respecting woman wants a guy with no money. Now, don't tell that lie about money means nothing to you!! You'll get coal in your stocking for that!!

Health issues. I have a lot. Too much to burden any woman with. Let it go at that.

Fear of losing my independence. I like being free

Possessions...I have none. And I do mean none! No house, no car, no nothin'

Last but, not least...the physical aspect. Although many women say looks and outward appearance mean nothing, remember that coal I talked about in the beginning of this post??? Be honest,,,you wouldn't date Quasimoto!!!

I stand back and look at me, a 58 year old man. And I think, if I were a woman, would I want to get involved with this man??
A resounding....HELL NO!

So do any of you give yourself an inventory to see why a person should want you as a partner??? Or do you only see good in yourselves and believe a person is crazy not to want you??Serious answers, please. I want to hear about YOU, not what I think of myself. Do YOU do an honest assessment of yourself?

O.K>...now I will shut my "mangina"

Shippy, i can relate to you, other than the health problems. I have run many off, because i didnt want them to fall in love or even like me. Because I think I didn't like myself.

But the past few weeks, i have took a long hard cold look at who i am. I have done some things in the past that i regret. But im forcing myself to move on. I have too, or i will be stuck in the same rut i put myself in for the last few years.

Alcohol, wasn't the only thing that held me down i realize. I held myself down. I am happy with who i am, and can always improve...(as we all can).

But what i feel now is that if someone comes into my life, im going to try. I will give it an honest shot. Instead of making excuses why it doesn't work. Im cutting out the bullshit im always giving myself. Try not to think too much that's my problem.

Believe it or not, Ship, i always have liked ya, i know you said not to talk about you, but the question. But ship, your a damn good guy, i just think like me, we cut ourselves short...making us intolerable to love.

My 2 cents(yes my change went down)

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