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Nope i dont think so..

becos in time it may become something more

If I truely love my partener and trusted him yes I would allow it

Absolutely! Jealousy has no place in my relationships, I have a couple of very close male friends who I enjoy spending time with and love to bits, they will always be a part of my life. My partner would always be welcome to join us in what ever activities, but if they chose not to, they shouldn´t have a problem with my spending time with that friend.

Saying that, I think your partners needs come first, so if my partner wants to do something on a particular night and my friend wants to do something else, I´ll choose my partner.

I would have no problem with my SO having close female friends, and hopefully we would become friends as well.

A man and woman should be the best friends to each other. They should learn to do things together. But there is also times when a time away from each other is best for the sake of growth as a person. But, outside friends not common to each should be a group of friends or friend (not taking to much time away from the spouse friend). The reason for not having a opposite sex friend is plain or this question would not have been asked. The reason I speak of is wondering. The spouse should not give a place to wonder by the other. The spouse is more important than any friendship or should be. To allow such friendship the other spouse should become part of the friendship and the other should never give place to allow even the slightist doubt of fidelity. This done by never being alone together, talking in front of the spouse......what ever is needed to relieve all wondering that could come about. The same is true for time and jealousy.

Do all things without any chance of doubt of any kind as much as is possible or get a new freind for the sake of the spouse.

It aldepends on how much trust I really truely had in that person...

Donnalou, Would you be with someone you didn't trust? I know some people do. I don't understand why someone would. Would you stay with someone that didn't trust you? Even though you are trustworthy to a fault.

Ouch. I just had to take a reality check on this one. I was all ready to say, no problem. And realized I might have a problem with this.

I have close male friends, and I have no problem with my partner having close female friends. Talk on the phone? No problem. Go somewhere together without me? I might have a problem with that. It would depend, perhaps, on the activity and frequency of it. For example, I hate horror movies. If my guy likes them and has a female friend that does as well, and they occasionally go to see them together...I could be OK with that. If it became a regular outing, I might have a problem with it.

I'm honest enough to admit to a tad bit of jealousy and possessiveness of my partner. I would expect, and accept, him feeling the same. I might even be hurt if he didn't.

I really don´t understand the idea that the friendship might become more... if you´ve been friends with a member of the opposite sex for years... why would it all of a sudden become more than that?

Anthing is possible..

Things do happen..

Its like you are not allergic to something you had for years..then all of a sudden you have an attack.

I just wouldnt agree to it..

My husband does not as well..

Yes.

Over the years I have become such a person to a very good woman friend of mine. She is not a sexual partner to me, and has her own relationship going.

When I go over for errands to the mainland, we meet up for a coffee or drink, and occasionally....particularly when there is a problem afoot, yes, she comes to spend a weekend at my place.

As to whether she discusses this with her partner I wouldn't know, that is her business, and I don't ask. All I know is there is a trust between us and when we do meet it is highly enjoyable, and makes me glad she is there for that moment.

If I therefore am with someone, and they want to go meet some friend of theirs who is male, no, I see nothing wrong with that.

Closing off the argument, if a woman is with me, she is there because she wants to, not cause I made her. If there is a need for her to go to bed with somebody else, then there is something wrong in our relationship, and she simply would not be with me.

I would strongly prefer that my mate not be involved with another man in that way. A deal-breaker? Possibly.

In that case I could just as easily become a lesbian and hook up with one of my female friends...

To be honest, if my SO were that easily led into something else with another person, then he is better off out of my life and in hers... I don´t want a partner that isn´t happy in our relationship, and to me... there would have to be something missing between us if he felt a need to have sexual relations with another woman.

But... to each their own...

That's a good point, though, JB. And if this is an activity that the two have shared for years, then it wouldn't be a problem. If it were going to lead to more, it would have before I came into the picture.

Honestly, that's why my response was filled with mights. There are factors that would affect how I felt about it. This is one of them.

Hey Dru, hope you're well.....

u know to be fair u actually got me thinking...I'd agree on the issue that if it is something of a regularity it could point to the relationship I am in sort of having a problem.....

Going out to meet a friend ever so often is something, but spending every weekend out with friends could be another you are right....

a relationship for me would mean the person likes spending time with me rather then somebody else.

Her needing her own space is understandable. Me ending up waiting for her regularly is another story.

You surprised me here, Dru. I fully expected you to say "Of course, no problem." I appreciated the honesty of your reply, and to me, that sounds about right.

There are many people here who reflexively condemn even a hint of jealousy/possessiveness. In my view, if there was none of that in your relationship, something's very likely missing. People who wish to have a partner who has no jealousy/possessiveness should, in my opinion, be careful what they wish for.

Becoming a Lebian could be
a good choice