Partner's opposite sex friend

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kissmedeeply Petitcodiac, New Brunswick Canada
ModestlyAwesome: I'm happy you're happy See? That's me right now
This is me right nowinnocent pointing
druidess6308 Aliquippa, Pennsylvania USA
kissmedeeply: i just dont get where he says fear is running my life..

becos i am not miserable in the choices my husband and i make..

This is what we agree and i am happy about it


So let it be his problem, since it is. That you and Eric agree and are happy with your decision about this, that's all that matters. And you had a right to state that in here, too. hug wine
kissmedeeply: This is me right now


I can't make the same claim laugh But as long as you and your significant other make the decisions together and are both happy then ignore what others have to say. They're probably just a tad jealous roll eyes



kissmedeeply Petitcodiac, New Brunswick Canada
ModestlyAwesome: I can't make the same claim But as long as you and your significant other make the decisions together and are both happy then ignore what others have to say. They're probably just a tad jealous


yeh i know that is why i am married and they are single

OOOOps did i say that out louddoh grin



kissmedeeply Petitcodiac, New Brunswick Canada
druidess6308: So let it be his problem, since it is. That you and Eric agree and are happy with your decision about this, that's all that matters. And you had a right to state that in here, too.


i know but just gets to me when others think they know my life...and what takes place in my home.

but thanks again sweetiehug
druidess6308 Aliquippa, Pennsylvania USA
ModestlyAwesome: Right. It's also hard to have those feelings sometimes largely due to not wanting to be a hypocrite. I have tons of females friends, two of which are very close to me. I don't like being jealous of my significant other because it's not really fair when I do the same thing. If they do things like flirt in front of me I usually say something and if my girlfriends best friend is actively trying to hook up with her, especially right in front of me, and she refuses to do something about it then she'll usually be single by the nightfall.

So I guess to summarize. Yes, jealousy happens mostly because they're doing what I wish I could be doing (hanging out) but not because I don't trust her. Issues arise when one is actually hitting on the other or if they're being uber affectionate in front of me while I am ignored (Ooohh... I hate that.).

This went on longer than I'd intended lol.


laugh Yeah...I wasn't real happy with that internal truth monitor when it sounded the alarm.

Oh, yes...I'd have a real problem if my partner was ignoring me and flirting with someone else, or being overly affectionate with them in front of me. very mad Or doing nothing about someone trying to actively hook up with him. Single immediately...and figuring out how to get wherever they're going, 'cuz it sure wouldn't be with me. wine
druidess6308 Aliquippa, Pennsylvania USA
kissmedeeply: yeh i know that is why i am married and they are single

OOOOps did i say that out loud


rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
druidess6308: Yeah...I wasn't real happy with that internal truth monitor when it sounded the alarm.

Oh, yes...I'd have a real problem if my partner was ignoring me and flirting with someone else, or being overly affectionate with them in front of me. Or doing nothing about someone trying to actively hook up with him. Single immediately...and figuring out how to get wherever they're going, 'cuz it sure wouldn't be with me.


Yep, that's a one way ticket to single land. Not too big of a deal for me since I'd rather be single than with some of the people I've seen out there roll eyes
jbibiza Ibiza, Islas Baleares Spain
druidess6308: Yeah...I wasn't real happy with that internal truth monitor when it sounded the alarm.

Oh, yes...I'd have a real problem if my partner was ignoring me and flirting with someone else, or being overly affectionate with them in front of me. Or doing nothing about someone trying to actively hook up with him. Single immediately...and figuring out how to get wherever they're going, 'cuz it sure wouldn't be with me.


That´s a person that would last about 1/2 date with me... I would have no problem saying... since you seem to be so enraptured with _______ I think you should spend the rest of this evening with her and leave!

My attitude regarding jealousy is based on a committed loving relationship, people who love each other don´t do this to each other...



Tamarin somewhere, Lothian, Scotland UK
Nothing wrong with having a platonic opposite sex friend... that person may just happen to be gay!
sassy49senior Itty Bitty, Nebraska USA

When I was with my my last SO we were into making love
one evening. He was getting very aroused and looked at
me and said OH GOD, I LOVE YOU D---. Not my name the
name of his best friend. When I confronted him about it
he said well she is my best friend and I do love her. He
found nothing wrong with it.

I would be very uneasy being with a man who's best friend
is a female and he spends a lot of time with her.
dillydally Strathclyde, Strathclyde, Scotland UK
My best friend of 15 years is male .So no i wont have a problem with my lover having a friendship like my friend and i do .The 2 relationships are completely different ,one is friendship love the other is romance love .




Good thread thumbs up



rasgumby Moberly, Missouri USA
I can't help but shake my head as I read all of the previous.
and the way that so many think.. how can you really wonder why you are single??doh

I think a man and woman should be devoted mind, body and soul.
as was said earlier.. give no room for wondering. no room for doubt.
if in a relationship.. if the other sex is involved... In groups ONLY!!
not a jealousy thing.. is a mutual respect thing!

Myself.. no man belongs in my home when I'm not there, just like...I would not allow any woman in the house while my partner was gone.

Just like the question I have asked before...if you are best friends with someone of the opposite sex.. if you have sex sometimes.. are you still just friends?
(bullshit!)
so if you answer yes.. that you are still just friends.. then why would any future partner trust you alone with friends of the opposite sex..if you have had and may have sex again????
druidess6308 Aliquippa, Pennsylvania USA
jbibiza: That´s a person that would last about 1/2 date with me... I would have no problem saying... since you seem to be so enraptured with _______ I think you should spend the rest of this evening with her and leave!

My attitude regarding jealousy is based on a committed loving relationship, people who love each other don´t do this to each other...


Very true. As to jealousy in a committed, loving, long-term relationship...yes, I could still have a bit of it. It's part of my nature. Never said I was proud of it, just honest enough to admit it. But, it's not a major jealousy thing...very minor in scale. I've been known to be jealous of time spent with male friends if it was excessive, too...or if I was feeling ignored. A fault of mine, I admit. I'm a Leo...we don't like to feel ignored or neglected. And I've felt that in a very loving relationship that I was very secure in.
druidess6308 Aliquippa, Pennsylvania USA
rasgumby: I can't help but shake my head as I read all of the previous.
and the way that so many think.. how can you really wonder why you are single??

I think a man and woman should be devoted mind, body and soul.
as was said earlier.. give no room for wondering. no room for doubt.
if in a relationship.. if the other sex is involved... In groups ONLY!!
not a jealousy thing.. is a mutual respect thing!

Myself.. no man belongs in my home when I'm not there, just like...I would not allow any woman in the house while my partner was gone.

Just like the question I have asked before...if you are best friends with someone of the opposite sex.. if you have sex sometimes.. are you still just friends?
(bullshit!)
so if you answer yes.. that you are still just friends.. then why would any future partner trust you alone with friends of the opposite sex..if you have had and may have sex again????


Ras, we're all entitled to feel differently on this subject. No need for you to shake your head at those who feel differently than you. Those are people you couldn't be involved in a serious relationship with, that's all. Doesn't mean any of us are wrong to be who we are and feel the way we feel about this subject.

And I'll address the latter part of your question, as one that has done this. Yes, I have a close male friend that I've slept with. It didn't change our friendship...and we were both single then, so no harm, no foul. I could still be trusted to be alone with him because we also stopped that part of our friendship by mutual agreement. I love him dearly, but not as more than a friend, and that's very mutually returned. If there were more between us, we would have deepened the relationship, or continued the FWB part longer. Yes, we have held each other while we cried, and cuddled while we talked about our pain...because we had no other to do that with then. But that part has been platonic...just two caring friends.



buzzy biddeford, Maine USA
kissmedeeply, You and your husband fear losing each other so much that there are lines you will not cross. It isn't till you completely let go that you and he will experience true love and commitment. What about the two of you completely separates your relationship from other relationships? Name one thing you do together, that you will not do with anyone else, that makes each of you feel complete?



kissmedeeply Petitcodiac, New Brunswick Canada
buzzy: kissmedeeply, You and your husband fear losing each other so much that there are lines you will not cross. It isn't till you completely let go that you and he will experience true love and commitment. What about the two of you completely separates your relationship from other relationships? Name one thing you do together, that you will not do with anyone else, that makes each of you feel complete?


Make love..that is what i would do with him and no other..

I dont know why you have a problem with me and no one else here..

I dont fear losing him or him fear of losing me..

I married my husband and as i said i would not go anywhere with
the opposite sex if he is not with me..

ITS AS SIMPLE AS THAT



kissmedeeply Petitcodiac, New Brunswick Canada
rasgumby: I can't help but shake my head as I read all of the previous.
and the way that so many think.. how can you really wonder why you are single??

I think a man and woman should be devoted mind, body and soul.
as was said earlier.. give no room for wondering. no room for doubt.
if in a relationship.. if the other sex is involved... In groups ONLY!!
not a jealousy thing.. is a mutual respect thing!

Myself.. no man belongs in my home when I'm not there, just like...I would not allow any woman in the house while my partner was gone.

Just like the question I have asked before...if you are best friends with someone of the opposite sex.. if you have sex sometimes.. are you still just friends?
(bullshit!)
so if you answer yes.. that you are still just friends.. then why would any future partner trust you alone with friends of the opposite sex..if you have had and may have sex again????


I totally agree with ras here..

and that is how my husband feel in what ras just stated herethumbs up
druidess6308 Aliquippa, Pennsylvania USA
buzzy: kissmedeeply, You and your husband fear losing each other so much that there are lines you will not cross. It isn't till you completely let go that you and he will experience true love and commitment. What about the two of you completely separates your relationship from other relationships? Name one thing you do together, that you will not do with anyone else, that makes each of you feel complete?


Buzzy, she and her husband have a right to make the decision that they've made, and others have the right to feel that way as well. It doesn't mean that they're afraid of losing each other, just that they feel that they don't need to do anything with a friend of the opposite gender. Nothing wrong with that, since both have agreed. Just because they feel differently about this than you doesn't make them wrong.

All of us are different, and have different opinions on all subjects. That's what makes discussions like this interesting on here. Attacking someone for their beliefs and different opinions from one's own makes it less fun. And if you're not attacking her, my apologies, but she certainly seems to feel that way. The way that you're wording your responses to her certainly seems like you're judging the decision she and her husband made regarding this, and telling her they're wrong for it. Nobody has that right.

wine



kissmedeeply Petitcodiac, New Brunswick Canada
druidess6308: Buzzy, she and her husband have a right to make the decision that they've made, and others have the right to feel that way as well. It doesn't mean that they're afraid of losing each other, just that they feel that they don't need to do anything with a friend of the opposite gender. Nothing wrong with that, since both have agreed. Just because they feel differently about this than you doesn't make them wrong.

All of us are different, and have different opinions on all subjects. That's what makes discussions like this interesting on here. Attacking someone for their beliefs and different opinions from one's own makes it less fun. And if you're not attacking her, my apologies, but she certainly seems to feel that way. The way that you're wording your responses to her certainly seems like you're judging the decision she and her husband made regarding this, and telling her they're wrong for it. Nobody has that right.


Yes i feel he is attacking me for what him and i believe

what makes him think we dont love each other completelydunno

I dont want to go out with opposite sex..never thought about it..nor has my Husband..

I am very happy and i love him completely





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