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I don't think that having a pet equates to materialism.

For me, not taking on the responsibility of a dog at this time is more due to selfishness than anything. A dog would make a lovely companion in my travels, but it would also greatly interfere with the way I want to do things. If I am rolling good, I don't want to have to stop to let the dog out. As I get older, I do think about it more.

Ah, JB...this is what I love about you, my friend. Your extreme self-honesty and willing to look at yourself and question.

So...it depends. I know many who are non-materialistic, but in committed relationships and owning pets. Others are without those commitments and pets because they have a deep inner need to be able to drop and go at any given time. Some have that wandering need, but then change and become gypsies that grow roots, still with a need to travel and have freedom in their life, but able to do so with pets and partners of like mind. So, dear lady, which are you? Only you can answer that for yourself.

Materialism and responsibility are 2 different things j. You might be deliberately, if sub-consciously, confusing the semantics of the terms.

Having a pet is a huge responsibility. It doesn't make you a materialist however. Pets are good for our spiritual side. The bond between pet and owner is not material, but emotional, so I cant see that it requires a materialistic bent to have one.

I doubt you can classify the love for a pet as materialistic.

I guess I should have stated a bit more about my lifestyle... I rent furnished apartments, so I don´t own any furniture, I don´t own a car, I don´t collect stuff... what I own fits in a couple of suitcases...

In answer to your post...the selfishness you mention, the inconvenience of having to stop to take care of something... do you think that this carries over into how you would feel about a potential partner?

I'm not thinking of pets in a materialism equation.

Myself, I could never have a dog, even though I love them, largely due to work. I feel bad enough for the cat when I travel as it is.

jbibiza: I guess I should have stated a bit more about my lifestyle... I rent furnished apartments, so I don´t own any furniture, I don´t own a car, I don´t collect stuff... what I own fits in a couple of suitcases...

In answer to your post...the selfishness you mention, the inconvenience of having to stop to take care of something... do you think that this carries over into how you would feel about a potential partner?

Well remember that you can't always go travel at the drop of a hat once you own a dog. They are as much a responsibility as they are lovable.

Having Monty this past week and realizing how much I enjoy the companionship has made me look at my life a bit closer. As I said to Dave in my response... my belongings fit into a couple of suitcases... I guess to me the responsibility of owning a dog automatically involves a bit more materialism... as in having your own furniture, being more settled into a life, starting to accumulate stuff... just in general not having quite the same freedom to leave at any given moment.

At one time, the answer would have been yes. However, now the selfishness I speak of is related to my work and the schedule that I sometimes have to keep. It is rather doubtful that a partner would be with me all of the time that I am working.
If I were to change professions, I would probably have a dog again.

I guess I still equate being responsible with living a more traditional lifestyle...

jbibiza: I guess I still equate being responsible with living a more traditional lifestyle...

Hm...? Well I unfortunately tend to go to different colleges about every other year and the dorms I've been in don't let us stay during semester breaks (and none of them I know of would let me have more than a plant or a fish anyways) so even if I could have a dog I'd have to move him/her around all the time. Not a fun thing for the poor animal, though I'm sure some of them would love it

Well with you still being in school, that makes things quite a bit different...it´s not so much a choice as the stage of life you are in.

I move apartments every 6 months and often jobs as well... for me it´s a choice, not a necessity... I´ve taken pride in living a life free of consumerism and materialism. Now the simple act of having a dog for a couple of weeks and looking at the reasons I haven´t gotten one is making me question that lifestyle choice... and the reasons behind it... and to see if others have gone through similar feelings and choices.

Some are blaming jobs... but a job is also a choice...

So...for you, is it just being a natural gypsy, or having a fear of commitment? Only you can answer that for you, JB. I think one can have a pet and a partner and not have a traditional lifestyle. I know couples like that.

I agree with this bit

I've never lived the life of a gypsy...not since getting out of the Army, even when I changed jobs frequently. I need a stable home and pets. I've had them even in apartments. I now have a very rooted life...house, kids...and want a committed relationship with a partner. But that's me, and I like roots. It's not for everyone.

Having grown up in a very traditional home... and having been an extremely responsible parent that did get caught up in having it all... I seem to have a difficult time realizing that freedom doesn´t necessarily mean not being able to have commitment in your life.

If the simple act of having a dog has me imagining a more settled and traditional lifestyle... imagine what the idea of committing myself in a relationship would do...

After so many years of commitment and responsibility in being a parent and work... I truly love not having obligations of my time...but I´m starting to realize that I´m giving up a lot to have that... and maybe I can have commitment without necessarily going back to a life that is so full of obligations there is no time left for me. Crap, I sound selfish.

Nearly everything is a choice.

Exactly! Hence the reason for this thread... what is the motivation behind those choices... I don´t think it´s always what we think it is... I think there is a lot of subconscious things that go on in our choices that we may not realize.

No, you don't sound selfish. You sound like someone who swung from one extreme to the other, and is now trying to find balance where you're somewhat more settled without losing you again. I can understand that. Same here. I lost myself in working a job with long hours to support my family, and going to school to give us a better life...and having none of my own. I lost myself in a marriage where he was so controlling, and he put me down so much...that I finally found myself and walked out of it. And I lost myself in a marriage to a man that I couldn't wait to be with, and spent no time with others except out in the bars with him...and then started to find myself as I was losing him.

I don't want to lose my self again. I've reached a good place, and I like the life I've built. I want a healthy, balanced, committed relationship with someone who also has a self and their own hobbies and life, but can make it blend well enough with mine to have have solidness together. Someone I enjoy spending time with, and lots of it, but where we also have our own time and space, too. Basically, I want what my parents have.