Pay it Forward: Life and Death
I recently found out that some patients that I took care of during my clinicals in CNA class have died. And somehow I think this relates to the movie: Pay if Forward... I heard it was a great movie, and it was.. it didn't have the usual happy ending that any good movie would have, but neither does life..and that's the beauty of life. Life isn't about happy endings, it's about moving forward and learning lessons along the way, making a mark on this world.
It leaves me bittersweet... motivated to help others yet sad when those you have helped or have helped others are gone. I do believe that if you recieve help, it's only right to try to find a way to pay it back in the form of helping others.. it doesn't have to stop at "3 people" per person... really that is just an idea..but if you were really passionate about it, why only 3 people? Why not try and help as many people as you can? Haven't other's helped you in some way? Haven't you been touched or influenced by someone else? If not, why don't You try and touch or influence someone else and see what it does for you.
Upon hearing of the news that some of my "favorite" patients recently passed away.. (in reality I found that I loved them all equally) I looked up their obituaries, and some I stumbled upon on accident and was even more saddened yet appreciated for the opportunity I had to know them while they were here.
Have you ever read an obituary? No, really READ it? Although I got to learn their personalities I didn't really get to know about who they were before they had Dementia, before they got sick before they were unable to communicate or function they way they used to.
I also found that THEY have helped me more than they could ever know. How could I as a CNA (or to them I was their nurse without the tilte of RN) NOT have these feelings? How could I NOT grieve for them too, despite the fact that I only knew and cared for them for a short time? How do you cope when you lose a patient and you didn't realize you were even attached to? Well I suppose it is to continue to Pay it Forward, and learn the value of treating others as you would want to be treated.
This is in memory of a few patients who died this year and from each of you I took something special and learned about humanity. Much love to Flora, Jane, Joyce, Ellen, Nancy(CNA),
(I know there were others who passed away, the ones who I got to hold hands with as they were dying) And for those who are still living I encourage you to find a way to touch someone else's life...
Pay it Forward.
Much Love,
Jacy
