Sun Dec 28, 2008 5:09 AM CST : Why are men so uncomplicated?
I mean, ladies, what do you think?
They own a wallet, five pairs of shoes, their bathrom cabinets are empty, big vast holes, I want to put my lotions, potions, nail polish and some of them even have space for my still boxed shoes.. Perfect, storage problem over.
No, seriously, I had one friend, who said and mods, s'cuse my profanity here, 'feed him and fuck him' In a sense I get that.
So, why are they so easy?
Football! What is it about football? Men love it. They go to the pub, to watch TV. I got to the pub to have a gin and tonic, mingle, chat, but oh no, you move between men and happen to glance the eye of a woman who is pretty pissed off watching her man's team, oh and if they lose, well, life is pretty miserable.
So, I avoid those, football pubs, for fear of being shouted down when I move to go to the ladies, I am greeted with cries of 'bloody women, interfering in my viewing of the beautiful game' So avoid them, go to a nice wine bar and have a nice glass of wine and wait for the game where they all squabble over one ball. Easy.
Remote controls.
Men and remote controls, they love them. Flick, flick, flick. All the time,it is like being in a slot machine place. Lights flashing all the time.. So, to ease that problem, take the batteries out. Simple.
Men can never find the butter in the fridge. They open the door, and shout 'Where is the butter?' Expecting it to jump out, just put a sign up saying 'DARLING, THIS IS THE BUTTER'
Solved.
Attractive women and porn. Men always get caught out looking at these and they think we do not know. What they fail to realise is that whilst they have better spatial reasoning than us wimmen, we have better peripheal vision, we can ogle a man out of the corner of our eye and never get caught... Solution, buy back copies of porn magazines, and when he is caught ogling a beautiful girl, tell him, 'Yep, she is gorgeous, I would shag her too' Stumped.
They are so easy to understand, and we like it that they think that we are hard to understand, we are not, but it is ok to let them think that we are...
Ladies, men are so uncomplicated... They can never find their black socks in the drawer, but you can guarantee their CDS, are all in alphabetical order, their three iron is beautifully polished and their paper form money is in chronological order.
So the secret is, to indulge them, bring in more shoes, more lotions and really make them wonder what we are all about, whilst we smile secretly to ourselves, knowing full well that we have them all worked out.
He thinks he can get me by posting why we wimmen are so complicated?
Darling, good morning!
And world, good morning.