Best Redneck Joke,must read

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Diamond789 Fort Worth , Texas USA
Sun Dec 28, 2008 11:10 AM CST : Best Redneck Joke,must read
I'm a Redneck so consider this fair,
Diamond



A REDNECK FROM GEORGIA DECIDES TO TRAVEL ACROSS THE SOUTH TO VIRGINIA TO SEE GOD'S COUNTRY.

WHEN HE GETS TO FRANKLIN, HE LIKES THE PLACE SO MUCH THAT HE DECIDES TO STAY. BUT FIRST HE MUST FIND A JOB!!!!

HE WALKS INTO THE INTERNATIONAL PAPER COMPANY OFFICE AND FILLS OUT AN APPLICATION AS AN EXPERIENCED LOG INSPECTOR. IT'S HIS LUCKY DAY!!!
THEY JUST HAPPEN TO BE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE, BUT FIRST, THE LOG FOREMAN TAKES HIM FOR A RIDE INTO THE FOREST IN THE COMPANY PICKUP TRUCK TO SEE HOW MUCH HE KNOWS.

THE FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND POINTS AT A TREE ,"SEE THAT TREE OVER THERE? I WANT YOU TO TELL ME WHAT SPECIES IT IS AND HOW MANY BOARD FEET OF LUMBER IT CONTAINS."

THE REDNECK PROMPTLY ANSWERS, "THAT THAR'S A WHITEPINE, 383 BOARD FEET OF LUMBER IN 'ER."

THE FOREMAN IS IMPRESSED!!! HE PUTS THE TRUCK IN MOTION AND STOPS About A MILE DOWN THE ROAD. HE POINTS AT ANOTHER TREE THROUGH THE PASSENGER WINDOW AND ASKS THE SAME QUESTION. THIS TIME, IT'S A BIGGER TREE OF A DIFFERENT CLASS.

"THAT'S A LOBLOLLY PINE AND SHE'S GOT ABOUT 456 CLEAR BOARD FEET."

THE FOREMAN IS REALLY IMPRESSED WITH THE GOOD OL' BOY, HE HAS BEEN QUICK AND GOT THE ANSWERS RIGHT WITHOUT USING A CALCULATOR!!!!

ONE MORE TEST. THEY DRIVE A LITTLE FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD, AND THE
FOREMAN STOPS AGAIN. THIS TIME, HE POINTS ACROSS THE ROAD THROUGH HIS DRIVER SIDE WINDOW AND SAYS, "AND WHAT ABOUT THAT ONE?"

BEFORE THE FOREMAN FINISHES POINTING, THE REDNECK SAYS, "WHITE OAK, 242 BOARD FEET AT BEST."

THE FOREMAN SPINS THE TRUCK AROUND AND HEADS BACK TO THE OFFICE A LITTLE TICKED OFF BECAUSE HE THINKS THE RED NECK IS SMARTER THAN HE IS.

AS THEY NEAR THE OFFICE, THE FOREMAN STOPS THE TRUCK AND ASKS BUBBA TO STEP OUTSIDE.

HE HANDS HIM A PIECE OF CHALK AND TELLS HIM, "SEE THAT TREE OVER
THERE?" "I WANT YOU TO MARK AN X ON THE FRONT OF THAT TREE!!"

THE FOREMAN THINKS TO HIMSELF, "IDIOT, HOW WOULD HE KNOW WHICH IS THE FRONT OF THE TREE?"

WHEN BUBBA REACHES THE TREE, HE GOES AROUND IT IN A CIRCLE WHILE LOOKING AT THE GROUND. HE THEN REACHES UP AND PLACES A WHITE X ON THE TRUNK.

HE WALKS BACK TO THE FOREMAN AND HANDS HIM THE CHALK. "THAT THAR'S THE FRONT," THE REDNECK SAYS.

THE FOREMAN LAUGHS TO HIMSELF AND ASKS SARCASTICALLY, "HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU KNOW THAT'S THE FRONT OF THE TREE?"

THE GOOD OL' BOY LOOKS DOWN AT HIS FEET, WHILE RUBBING THE TOE OF HIS LEFT BOOT CLEANING IT IN THE GRAVEL AND REPLIES, "CUZ SOMEBODY TOOK
A CRAP BEHIND IT!"

HE GOT THE JOB AND IS NOW THE FOREMAN!!!!!
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sassy49senior Itty Bitty, Nebraska USA
Sun Dec 28, 2008 11:39 AM CST : Best Redneck Joke,must read


Now that is funny Diamond. I have done that a time or 2
myself or a large bale of hay. rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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livinglarge in a good place , Kildare Ireland
Sun Dec 28, 2008 11:50 AM CST : Best Redneck Joke,must read
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Diamond789 Fort Worth , Texas USA
Mon Dec 29, 2008 10:27 AM CST : Best Redneck Joke,must read
sassy49senior: Now that is funny Diamond. I have done that a time or 2
myself or a large bale of hay.
cheers
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Diamond789 Fort Worth , Texas USA
Mon Dec 29, 2008 10:28 AM CST : Best Redneck Joke,must read
cheering
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druidess6308 Aliquippa, Pennsylvania USA
Mon Dec 29, 2008 10:34 AM CST : Best Redneck Joke,must read
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing Good one, buddy!
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Diamond789 Fort Worth , Texas USA
Mon Dec 29, 2008 11:15 AM CST : Best Redneck Joke,must read
druidess6308: Good one, buddy!
heart wings peace yay rolling on the floor laughing
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mindfful CitizenofEarth, UK and, Illinois USA
Mon Dec 29, 2008 11:18 AM CST : Best Redneck Joke,must read
whaddya know?
he's back.



conversing


laugh


devil
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Diamond789 Fort Worth , Texas USA
Mon Dec 29, 2008 11:23 AM CST : Best Redneck Joke,must read
mindfful: whaddya know?
he's back.



Yes dear and I just rated all yer photos,,,,,,,10 !applause
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Diamond789 Fort Worth , Texas USA
Mon Dec 29, 2008 11:28 AM CST : Best Redneck Joke,must read
sassy49senior: Now that is funny Diamond. I have done that a time or 2
myself or a large bale of hay.







cheering
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Conrad73 Lonesome Town Zurich, Zrich Switzerland
Mon Dec 29, 2008 11:51 AM CST : Best Redneck Joke,must read
Now that's thinking on your feet.rolling on the floor laughing
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sassy49senior Itty Bitty, Nebraska USA
Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:55 PM CST : Best Redneck Joke,must read

FARMERS BULL

Farmer: I've got a bull that's right off it's duties. It's got
to serve 300 cows and all it wants to do is eat.

Vet: Give it one of these pills in it's food and stand back.

So 2 weeks later the farmer comes back to the vet: WOW,what a
pill!! I gave the pill to the bull like you said and POW. It
jumped over the gate, ran down the lane and screwed 70 cows
in 30 minutes.

Vet: So what's the problem... Why have you come back?

Farmer: Well I was wonderin', I am meeting this 18 year old
tonight, could you give me one of those pills? I'm not as
young as I was.

Vet: Oh, no, it's too strong, but I will give you 1/4 of a pill.

So the farmer takes the pill and goes off to prepare for his
date. Several days later the farmer goes back to the vet.

Farmer: Hello vet. Wonderful. 40 times!!!

Vet: So why have you come back?

Farmer: Ah, I need something for my wrist... she never
showed up.
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Diamond789 Fort Worth , Texas USA
Tue Dec 30, 2008 9:41 AM CST : Best Redneck Joke,must read
sassy49senior: FARMERS BULL

Farmer: I've got a bull that's right off it's duties. It's got
to serve 300 cows and all it wants to do is eat.

Vet: Give it one of these pills in it's food and stand back.

So 2 weeks later the farmer comes back to the vet: WOW,what a
pill!! I gave the pill to the bull like you said and POW. It
jumped over the gate, ran down the lane and screwed 70 cows
in 30 minutes.

Vet: So what's the problem... Why have you come back?

Farmer: Well I was wonderin', I am meeting this 18 year old
tonight, could you give me one of those pills? I'm not as
young as I was.

Vet: Oh, no, it's too strong, but I will give you 1/4 of a pill.

So the farmer takes the pill and goes off to prepare for his
date. Several days later the farmer goes back to the vet.

Farmer: Hello vet. Wonderful. 40 times!!!

Vet: So why have you come back?

Farmer: Ah, I need something for my wrist... she never
showed up.
cheers rolling on the floor laughing peace
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sassy49senior Itty Bitty, Nebraska USA
Tue Dec 30, 2008 10:09 AM CST : Best Redneck Joke,must read

Us Rednecks gotta stick together. People think we's
stupid, but were out ta show em all they's right rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Diamond789 Fort Worth , Texas USA
Tue Dec 30, 2008 10:17 PM CST : Best Redneck Joke,must read
sassy49senior: Us Rednecks gotta stick together. People think we's
stupid, but were out ta show em all they's right
dancing
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sassy49senior Itty Bitty, Nebraska USA
Tue Dec 30, 2008 10:20 PM CST : Best Redneck Joke,must read

Hi Diamond, How are you tonight? hug
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Diamond789 Fort Worth , Texas USA
Tue Dec 30, 2008 10:44 PM CST : Best Redneck Joke,must read
sassy49senior: Hi Diamond, How are you tonight?


Perfecto !
You ?grin
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Diamond789 Fort Worth , Texas USA
Tue Dec 30, 2008 10:45 PM CST : Best Redneck Joke,must read
Conrad73: Now that's thinking on your feet.
rolling on the floor laughing
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Diamond789 Fort Worth , Texas USA
Tue Dec 30, 2008 10:45 PM CST : Best Redneck Joke,must read
mindfful: whaddya know?
he's back.
wave
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