Britain hunting lovelorn beaver

THREAD AUTHOR

mindfful CitizenofEarth, UK and, Illinois USA

Wed Dec 31, 2008 6:12 PM CST : Britain hunting lovelorn beaver

LONDON (AFP) – There's a gnawing problem in the countryside --
a giant beaver on the loose, wreaking havoc in southwest England.

And his owner reckons there's only one thing that can lure the lovelorn rodent back into captivity: the scent of female beaver.

The six-stone (84-pound, 38-kilogramme) animal escaped from the Upcott Grange Farm in the county of Devon back in October, along with two females who were recovered soon after from a nearby lake.

But the one beaver still on the run is thought to be the culprit felling trees some 20 miles (32 kilometres) down the River Tamar at Gunnislake.

Conservationist Derek Gow, who owns 24 of the animals under licence, reckons the runaway is hunting for female beaver. He is planning to catch the escapee using honey traps: boxes that smell of females.

"I know where he is, but he's occupying a territory of probably a kilometre in length," Gow said.

"We've got traps being made up at the moment.

"Using the scent from one of the female beavers, we'll be able to catch the male beaver fairly quickly."

The furry escapee and his trail of destruction were widely covered in Wednesday's national newspapers.

Gow suspects the electric fence surrounding his beaver pen failed during a flood.

"We've checked the fence, we can't find any holes at all. We can't think of any other way they might have got out."

Beavers were hunted to extinction in Britain in the 16th century.

However, in a controversial project, four families of beavers have been shipped in from Norway and will be released in western Scotland early next year.

jlw45 saratoga springs, Utah USA

Wed Dec 31, 2008 6:16 PM CST : Britain hunting lovelorn beaver

that big beaver may be in search of some big wood

mbcasey North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina USA

Wed Dec 31, 2008 6:18 PM CST : Britain hunting lovelorn beaver

jlw45: that big beaver may be in search of some big wood

hopefloats Slim's Lady, Tennessee USA

Wed Dec 31, 2008 6:18 PM CST : Britain hunting lovelorn beaver

Too funny!

mbcasey North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina USA

Wed Dec 31, 2008 6:18 PM CST : Britain hunting lovelorn beaver

mindfful: LONDON (AFP) – There's a gnawing problem in the countryside --
a giant beaver on the loose, wreaking havoc in southwest England.

And his owner reckons there's only one thing that can lure the lovelorn rodent back into captivity: the scent of female beaver.

The six-stone (84-pound, 38-kilogramme) animal escaped from the Upcott Grange Farm in the county of Devon back in October, along with two females who were recovered soon after from a nearby lake.

But the one beaver still on the run is thought to be the culprit felling trees some 20 miles (32 kilometres) down the River Tamar at Gunnislake.

Conservationist Derek Gow, who owns 24 of the animals under licence, reckons the runaway is hunting for female beaver. He is planning to catch the escapee using honey traps: boxes that smell of females.

"I know where he is, but he's occupying a territory of probably a kilometre in length," Gow said.

"We've got traps being made up at the moment.

"Using the scent from one of the female beavers, we'll be able to catch the male beaver fairly quickly."

The furry escapee and his trail of destruction were widely covered in Wednesday's national newspapers.

Gow suspects the electric fence surrounding his beaver pen failed during a flood.

"We've checked the fence, we can't find any holes at all. We can't think of any other way they might have got out."

Beavers were hunted to extinction in Britain in the 16th century.

However, in a controversial project, four families of beavers have been shipped in from Norway and will be released in western Scotland early next year.

Isn't it good, Norwegian wood.

mindfful CitizenofEarth, UK and, Illinois USA

Wed Dec 31, 2008 6:20 PM CST : Britain hunting lovelorn beaver

MB

there are just too many puns in this article
i thought it was perfect for us

ttom500 St. Cloud, Florida USA

Wed Dec 31, 2008 6:44 PM CST : Britain hunting lovelorn beaver

My question at the moment....is how do you stop a runaway beaver?

84 pounds.....yikes.....this guy needs to be placed on a Weight Watcher diet. Or someone needs to clue him in....thin is in.
The lady beavers are going to take a peek at his 84 pounds....and say oh no big boy.

And if tree cutting matches his 84 pounds.....the English tree huggers will soon have a problem with him as he deforests England.

The local game warden sends his tracking dog on him.....the beaver will be bigger than he is.

This for England could be a national crisis in the making. Tomorrow headlines could read...Giant Beaver On The Loose!!!
Women and children take to shelter and men to arms. Defend England from the attack of the giant beaver.

All in good fun.

SexyAttorney Clearwater, Florida USA

Wed Dec 31, 2008 10:33 PM CST : Britain hunting lovelorn beaver

"Using the scent from one of the female beavers, we'll be able to catch the male beaver fairly quickly."

I always use Ode de la Fisherman's Wharf to catch a male......

spiceygamble Nola, Louisiana USA

Wed Dec 31, 2008 10:43 PM CST : Britain hunting lovelorn beaver

Good ol Norway...
always willing to help when someone needs help breeding.

solitare Munchen, Bayern Germany

Wed Dec 31, 2008 11:26 PM CST : Britain hunting lovelorn beaver

There has never yet been a horror movie using a beaver; it's long overdue: Attack of The Killer or Mutant Beaver! Great graphic shots of giant beaver gnawing not on a tree limb, but a human limb!!...soon at a cineplex and drive-in near you!

ttom500 St. Cloud, Florida USA

Thu Jan 1, 2009 4:59 AM CST : Britain hunting lovelorn beaver

There has never yet been a horror movie using a beaver; it's long overdue: Attack of The Killer or Mutant Beaver! Great graphic shots of giant beaver gnawing not on a tree limb, but a human limb!!...soon at a cineplex and drive-in near you![/qu

I think that 2009 could be that kind of year. With 2008 now dust,
we need a little Monty Python humor in the world. Let me see....
screen play by Roooger 007 Moore.....producer Oliver Stone....
leading female Nicole Kidman.....leading man Brad Pitt.

It is the story of a young English beaver. Misunderstood by his fellow beavers and has trouble associating in the world. One day
swimming near a nuclear power plant, he was caught in the toxic release of nuclear energy.

Now growing to homugus size.....the beaver and his appetite...begin to ravish the woods of England. Enter in game warden Brad Pitt and environmentalist Nicole Kidman. Nicole sees the potential danger to the forest of England, but also realizes that the growing beaver has a right to a habitat. Torn between saving the woods of the country and extending habitat range rights to first and likely last of his specie, Nicole plays a role of the conflicted enviromentalist.

Brad Pitt attempting many times to lure, trap or some how control this runaway beaver. Is the hero/villain. Agent of the government, his duty is to protect England and its water shed from deforestation. Yet he use techniques that are unsuitable to safety of the beaver.

Coming soon to a theatre near you

The_Kansan Claxton (Powell), Tennessee USA

Thu Jan 1, 2009 5:17 AM CST : Britain hunting lovelorn beaver

Britain hunting lovelorn beaver

You mean Stress Free's real name is Britain?

(Couldn't resist!

)

jlw45 saratoga springs, Utah USA

Thu Jan 1, 2009 5:22 AM CST : Britain hunting lovelorn beaver

The_Kansan: Britain hunting lovelorn beaver

You mean Stress Free's real name is Britain?

(Couldn't resist! )

Sommerauer71 Hallein, Salzburg Austria

Thu Jan 1, 2009 5:27 AM CST : Britain hunting lovelorn beaver

The_Kansan: Britain hunting lovelorn beaver

You mean Stress Free's real name is Britain?

(Couldn't resist! )

Fantastic.

ttom500 St. Cloud, Florida USA

Thu Jan 1, 2009 8:23 AM CST : Britain hunting lovelorn beaver

The_Kansan: Britain hunting lovelorn beaver

You mean Stress Free's real name is Britain?

(Couldn't resist! )

Maybe we can work Stress in the movie of version of this. He can be the ex pro athlete that has turned sensitive wildlife protector.
He competes with Brad Pitt for Nicole Kidman's affections.

Then at the end of the movie....the giant beaver attacks the three as they are trying to figure out the relationships. The beaver first goes after Nicole....pinning her to the wall of the English forest thatched cottage. Both Brad and Stress trying to save her.....risk life and limb in fighting the giant beaver.

But still trying to be THE hero.....separately they cannot do anything to this giant beaver.....only when they begin to work together...do they get the upper hand on it...saving Nicole Kidman from a fate worst than death....being crushed in a English cottage by giant beaver.

Nicole totally confused by what has happened. Turns to being
a nun in a religious order. Stress...realizing he lost Nicole...first turns to hunting animals and then finally become a umpire in the Mexican minor baseball circuit.

Brad.....seeing his now friend Stress...ruining his life in the Mexican minors...has written a best selling book on how he defeated the giant beaver of England. He use moneys from it to buy a American MBL team....and make Stress the manager.

Nicole coming to her senses. Leaves the religious order. Seek them both out.....in the head office of the American baseball team.....where the fur of the giant beaver hangs....tell them wich one will be the one.

You have to watch the movie to find out....or ask Stress. But he is under contract not to tell.

wixomwizard Wixom, Michigan USA

Thu Jan 1, 2009 8:26 AM CST : Britain hunting lovelorn beaver

mindfful: LONDON (AFP) – There's a gnawing problem in the countryside --
a giant beaver on the loose, wreaking havoc in southwest England.

And his owner reckons there's only one thing that can lure the lovelorn rodent back into captivity: the scent of female beaver.

The six-stone (84-pound, 38-kilogramme) animal escaped from the Upcott Grange Farm in the county of Devon back in October, along with two females who were recovered soon after from a nearby lake.

But the one beaver still on the run is thought to be the culprit felling trees some 20 miles (32 kilometres) down the River Tamar at Gunnislake.

Conservationist Derek Gow, who owns 24 of the animals under licence, reckons the runaway is hunting for female beaver. He is planning to catch the escapee using honey traps: boxes that smell of females.

"I know where he is, but he's occupying a territory of probably a kilometre in length," Gow said.

"We've got traps being made up at the moment.

"Using the scent from one of the female beavers, we'll be able to catch the male beaver fairly quickly."

The furry escapee and his trail of destruction were widely covered in Wednesday's national newspapers.

Gow suspects the electric fence surrounding his beaver pen failed during a flood.

"We've checked the fence, we can't find any holes at all. We can't think of any other way they might have got out."

Beavers were hunted to extinction in Britain in the 16th century.

However, in a controversial project, four families of beavers have been shipped in from Norway and will be released in western Scotland early next year.

What's the problem here...I hunt beaver all the time!!!

Happy 2009 everyone.

The_Kansan Claxton (Powell), Tennessee USA

Thu Jan 1, 2009 9:40 AM CST : Britain hunting lovelorn beaver

ttom500: Maybe we can work Stress in the movie of version of this. He can be the ex pro athlete that has turned sensitive wildlife protector.
He competes with Brad Pitt for Nicole Kidman's affections.

Then at the end of the movie....the giant beaver attacks the three as they are trying to figure out the relationships. The beaver first goes after Nicole....pinning her to the wall of the English forest thatched cottage. Both Brad and Stress trying to save her.....risk life and limb in fighting the giant beaver.

But still trying to be THE hero.....separately they cannot do anything to this giant beaver.....only when they begin to work together...do they get the upper hand on it...saving Nicole Kidman from a fate worst than death....being crushed in a English cottage by giant beaver.

Nicole totally confused by what has happened. Turns to being
a nun in a religious order. Stress...realizing he lost Nicole...first turns to hunting animals and then finally become a umpire in the Mexican minor baseball circuit.

Brad.....seeing his now friend Stress...ruining his life in the Mexican minors...has written a best selling book on how he defeated the giant beaver of England. He use moneys from it to buy a American MBL team....and make Stress the manager.

Nicole coming to her senses. Leaves the religious order. Seek them both out.....in the head office of the American baseball team.....where the fur of the giant beaver hangs....tell them wich one will be the one.

You have to watch the movie to find out....or ask Stress. But he is under contract not to tell.

Sorry, Tom, but it's just not believable! (SF is a liberal, he'd never hunt animals!)

solitare Munchen, Bayern Germany

Thu Jan 1, 2009 12:30 PM CST : Britain hunting lovelorn beaver

The world is always in need...perhaps dire need of Monty Python humour...as to the first proposal for a film, who would play the beaver ...Rowan Atkinson (Mr. Bean; very British)??

Film proposal #2
A young (and naturally hot) wife is abandoned by her husband on their wedding day. Distraught, the naturally hot wife traces him to his ancestral home in the bog country,( NO, no 'Beaver of the Baskervilles!)(maybe later)

The Bogs...where amid the swampy marches and scrub with deadly undergrowth, she discovers a terrible secret,( aren't they all...)
Her husband was saved from bankruptcy and death (bankruptcy being all the current rage), by an experimental medical procedure involving serum derived from an 84 pound Norwegian beaver...and now he's developing horrifying side-effects. The naturally hot wife will face any danger to help him, but soon discovers that her love may not be enough. She hides his Viagra till she knows for sure.
Roles are open for who could play whom...

mindfful CitizenofEarth, UK and, Illinois USA

Thu Jan 1, 2009 2:02 PM CST : Britain hunting lovelorn beaver

you people never cease to astound

this topic had to be posted
the possibilities-i had to see it for myself

happy new year all

Conrad73 Lonesome Town Zurich, Zrich Switzerland

Thu Jan 1, 2009 2:17 PM CST : Britain hunting lovelorn beaver

"The Gnawing Terror" still on the loose?

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