BarrenPneuma: Laura, as you know (or perhaps not?) by now I am not very serious even when I am serious here and often when I am completely not serious I am often more serious than it would at first seem. I am interested in the complexities of human commerce. The idea of communication is very intriguing and the means and methods of doing this increase in ways that compound our ability to deal with things.
Is there any merit to emailing a person whom you know is going through a rough patch that has just faced a vicious assault that perhaps might not have the same weight if they had received it in a better time?
There is no need to drag a crowd to watch anything that occurs in the forums as there is in truth nothing here but words but words can and do harm and heal. The opportunity for the invisible hatred inside of sad and lonely people often rises to a point where those undeserving of such attention receive more than any person's fair share.
Likewise a note that could profoundly lift a spirit could be noted and pointed out to someone who has not had the opportunity to see it because they were away at work, with family or otherwise indisposed.
In these cases I applaud the friends who support each other.
I do agree that far too often the opportunity to direct responses is activated through these back-door outlets and most often as you say by those in dire need of hobbies or some form of life expression. To those I am fearful for their ability to remain viable in any sort of real life relationship as they will never completely function without their support groups and a relationship is a private issue between two people not a horde who can only complicate things.
I learn from everything my brain has the opportunity to input. Some of it is good and some of it not so good. Even in the bad there is always a lesson. My father for example was not a man I would wish upon anyone. Yet from him I learned how not to be a man or a father. It is all in the way we choose to handle the information I suppose.
Mark, finding friends or a date to comfort you, even if it’s just via emails or on a phone, I see as a positive thing. I was lucky to make couple of close friends and a few casual friends through CS. Once or twice the events in forums were discussed privately, but never, not even once, we directed each other to jump into someone’s thread, never would.
Freely expressing one's own opinion, finding out if this topic is of
any interest to your friend(s) and finding out what's their opinion on this topic is far more exciting to me then dragging a tail of puppets behined.
It is what connecting singles is all about IMO.
When a crowd of sad and lonely people form a network for the sole purpose of following others in forums to make their lives miserable, or to belittle others, or to establish their own superiority by any cost, the name to it: ‘hunting in packs’ not ‘friends who support’.
Take away this purpose from them and they will become sad and lonely people in a crowd of sad and lonely people, as you know (or perhaps not?).
In good ole days people could turn to shopping as a hobby, not nowadays – with recession and all, hence I understand and don’t judge.
Even though I am not a fan of it, I do not interfere unless people get hurt.
