Connecting Singles^® Forums 100% Free Online Dating

I don't like male or female roles,

I prefer them with a bit of nice cheese and chutney, or egg and corriander!


oh wait, wrong rolls

Hi Ven, I was looking for a thread to get my teeth into and I have found one...

In my last relationship, whilst we both worked, we both took part in the household chores, however we had different ideas about certain things, for instance the laundry, so in the end, I did it all, as it was easier than him doing it and me getting my knickers in a twist over it. My ex wanted a independent woman, yet also a woman that knew how to be a woman and he would take care of my car, he would also do the shoppping as I disliked it.

This time, well, I know that he likes to cook, but so do I, so if he sets out in the morning and says I am cooking tonight, then I will let him do that. If I say, hey darling, I am cooking dinner for you, he will leave me to it.

Shopping, he hates shopping, so do I, but I am quicker at it. So, I deposit him at the pub, and I run around go and have a drink with him and we both go home together.

I do think that men still like a woman who will take care of them, it is completely understandable, goes back generations.

I have to work, I have children that are financially dependent on me, so that is not an option for me, so any man that wants me at home, will have to find another person. But my curent relationship, we have a mutual respect where he knows this and accepts it. But he is also handy in the kitchen so he is more than capable of looking after himself. To us, no matter who has cooked, as long as there is a meal on the table and we do not lay too much on the household chores when we are together.

We both have our own homes so of course our independence is way up the list..

I am unconfused about my role, I am a mother and now a partner, I know where my responsibilities lie, if we chose to consolidate homes, then those areas will be worked out, so that we both know where we stand. And those have to be worked out, I am a bit sterile like that, as I like order and tidiness, I cannot stand mess and disorder.

He is also very orderly, and we can communicate, so I see no issues.

Unspoken expectations? We have none, we know what we expect from each other and if we chose to live together, then those will remain. For now, we have two homes, three countries apart and we cannot do anything until at least May, when my contract finishes.

Good thread Ven...

Beats the 'Am I attractive' polls.

Hey Crosstown, Happy New Year to you.

Hello Sommer, and a very happy new year to you too, I hope it is a lovely one

Hi CT,

Oooh, I much prefer the rolls you've described!

Now thinkin' of curried chicken rolls with lime chutney, fresh coriander...

Excuse me, could we hve some sensible conversation in here please you two?

I can try, however is seem unlikely,


no........... can't manage it, sorry!

is that male or female curried chicken role???

Hi Sommer,

Thanks for your comments.

You and PPV I would expect would have nothing you couldn't clarify by talking.

And yes, when you have financial obligations like children to school and clothe, unless the man has a bottomless pit of money, and please, do line up all you men out there. I will hold interviews a bit later on,, then the reality is that you do need to continue working at the pace you now have, to maintain that financial independence.

I guess that's a point.

Don't know if they check their gender first! You could be onto something CT!

There is nothing that we would not talk about, we have both made that very clear from the start.

And I think that is it, communication, we do not know everything about each other, but we learn something new about each other day. As for financial independence, yes I have to maintain that, should we combine finances at a later date, then we will both know where we stand, but the bottom line, he wants a woman and I want a man and those roles will always remain... He simply has to take the trash out and check my car has all the necessary fluids in it... I do not do those jobs.. He knows where I stand and I know where he is... He has run his own home for many years, so I respect that... Until I am free from my financial obligations, which I will be, then I have to continue as you say, in the manner I am, but I can do that from anywhere in the world... There is no competition between us, we know the boundaries and we both know not what to do in our relationship.

I think CT is think about what he will do with, I mean, when Summer comes.. no, scratch that.

Let me stick to the topic at hand.

Now where were we?

Unspoken or clear, expectations; role definition?

I could share my opinion with you. Well I am firm believer of shared responsibilities. Without which, one could surely turn sour.
It would be a great blessing to share household chores so you end up finishing everything together?

In this part of the world, we do have our male chauvinists who think of their status as men. But there are wonderful partners, who simply love the idea of doing everything it takes to make a happy home successful.

It is upto the lady to decide if she wants to work or not. If she has the right qualifications and her mate is not all that fussy, she could work, but make sure that home scene doesn't get neglected .It is wonderful to be financially independent as long as the male partner does not feel threatened by the fact.
We simply don't have to run to them for every extra penny that we need to buy what we want.

Ofcourse, there are the wonderful men, who are so loving n caring they make sure they take their housewives out shopping, so both feel loved and respected.

Up to you to make your decisions.

Here's wishing you the very best!!!

Hi melani

Sometimes, we women, have no choice but to work, certainly in this day and age, where we have more financial responsibilities, I could not afford not to work as I have said, because of my children, I am responsible for them and nobody else, so it is required of me, not something that is governed by choice, otherwise the children would have to stop their education and go out to work, they do work but only small jobs, as their time is taken up with study. but yes, it is up to me to make my own decisions, but I would always consult my partner...

hey Fil and sommer

Hello CT

Well I guess I'm looking for the caveman kind of relationship. One who will drag me back to the cave and ravish me

Hey Summer... Is that so? I like to be dragged around by my hair occasionally too. Good to see you gal, how are you?

Hi melani

Well, with something basic like household chores, if both people choose to work, there is always the option of engaging a cleaner maybe once a week or fortnight. I have done that in the past, so that certain things like giving the bathroom an extra good scrub, dusting places you normally would not, etc get done regularly. I'm thinking of doing that again.

People can forget that there are some things that can be delegated, whether it's to call in a gardener every now and then, or whatever is needed to lighten a couple's load. Sometimes, we just can't do absolutely everything.

Hey Sue!

Errr. what 's this about you wanting to be dragged along the cave floor by the hair?

Times have certainly changed V. I would like to think that common respect is addressed when needed on this topic.

For instance if both couples are working it should be split house duties etc? however if one is not naturally you would assume the one not working would undertake the majority of the upkeep of the house.

I prefer to maintain the upkeep of the house and my partner to maintain the upkeep of the outside of the house, lawns, spider webs etc.

I am not the type of woman that will wait on a man hand and foot while he is sitting on the lounge screaming for a beer. I will tell him to get of his own ass and get it.