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I think I am pretty much the same.

I have been to a CS meet and everone I met was also pretty much the same.

When people post in the forums their personality does come thru and I think its pretty easy to spot the real ones.

JMO

Hi Dru

Body language has alot to do with how we communicate, and here that is very much lacking, although some people like yourself and Mark, word it all so very well, that I get a feel for what you are saying.

So for some, I cannot even begin to think what they are talking about, but you, certainly I do.

Then of course we have the ones who do the brilliant one liners that are completel showstoppers, such as Ship.

Hi Sommer
No you are just being you and I love that. I've always enjoyed reading your posts and love your sense of humor.
But for me I am just the opposite then others on here.
I guess I should not hold back and let the real me come out.

Hi Vinny.

Spot the real ones?

What the real people? Sorry, I need that explained to me...

If you would not mind.

I tend to hold back more of late.

Simply because I know that I will end up in trouble.

I word it differently, now, but I know what I mean.

Shirley, you let go, I like some spark and mischief.

Yes I believe people have expectations of us no matter who we are. One of the first questions sites like this ask is "what are you looking for in a mate" and then go on to categorise preferences.

We all have preferences. We look for them in every potential mate we meet.

Sometimes if people meet online first and chat here, the picture of who they would like to be meeting is somehow mixed up with what they wanted or expected in the first place.

For instance. A man looks for a slim woman, good looking, active, interested in walking on the beach and eating out.

He meets a woman who appears to meet all those criteria. She is slim and active, (helped by amphedimines or cocaine or has a bad thyriod problem), good looking, (spends all ther cash on surgery or beauty parlours, self obsessed), walking in the beach, (on the lookout for a more lucrative partnership offer while feding her obsession for looking tanned all the time, or hates housework and can't bear to be home in her messy apartment or house), and eats out, (can't cook, or refuses to cook, or hopes someone else will pay for her meals). Or vice versa women with men too...

If men or women with raging hormones or ideals appear to have them met initially, it may take some time for reality to bite.

That is only one scenario. There are many thousands of reasons why people are not what you expect, even though they look and feel and sound like you expected.

Now all of these people will say that they are just being themselves, but another's reality of who you are, and who you really feel you are inside, can be often very different.......

Relationships are more likely to fail because of your partners expectations of you not being met, than from other causes people mention, like differences of opinion about who takes out the trash, or who does the shopping, vacuuming or ironing.

Yes, and I love them for that. Jlw45, Indy, and the CS member now known as Pretzie, formerly known as Ship... Sorry, couldn't resist that one, Starlin. I know you'll see this later. Love the humor that they throw in here.

And you, Sommer...I love the way you express yourself. Witty, wise, introspective, and occasionally irreverent, but always straight forward.

You know, you are just too smart...

I agree, I do think your last paragraph Ginger is so perfect, that relationships do fail because of expectations from other people and those not being met.

Maybe mine will work, because I did not have any, or maybe that we covered them off, we both know what we expect from our relationship, and from each other... I mean we must have covered them, it never comes up.

Early on it did. But I suppose it was just a shock that we found each other, that we just never really minded the expectations.

Thought provoking Ginger...

I cannot work out whether I am different in real life now or what, I think I am, because I have to be, goodness if I was like this all the time I would be in prison.

Real life, we do things differently, because we can communicate with hands, witha smile and eye contact, here we only have words and that does make a difference.

Yes the people you mention are very much shhot from the hip and I do like that...

I wonder, are they like that in a face to face situation?

Good question.

Well they need to get in ere and tell us...

Out personal choices of lifestyle have more to do with who we are than most people think. What we do in everyday life and who we are, are very closely linked to our preferences for who we can get on with in a partnership.

More so I think than what we can say about ourselves on here...

Hi

I am only here about 6 or 8 weeks but as I said peoples personality comes thru from their postings.

Some people aren't consistent with some of their postings IMO
where they may say something to suit the thread whereby contradicting themselves from a different thread.

I have just noticed it a few times.

JMO

Sorry typos.

Thank you Vinny.

Yes, I can see that happening.

But then that does not make them unreal, does it?

I have been guilty of that myself...

Being contrary.

But I can always remember what I write, so that is good.

And alot of people go to threads because of the people that are in it, which is why alot of threads go off topic.

Because people who are friends, will be clumped together.

If I have started a thread, I will remain it, if it getting responses, because I like a good old discussion whilst I wait for the laundry to finish and the man is at the pub.

But that does not make them or me unreal?

Does it?

Oh I have done lots today Ginger, it because my hands are cold.

I am so happy to see you.

please let me thank you and all those who truly knows the issue of an individual value which some other people try to hide it within a group.

the group is made by individuals as an entity that has its own value to complete the group,, while others who lacks to exist as an entity use the group to come to existence and then they damage the essential thought which created the group in the first place.

this can be reflected on couples too. both must exist to become a group represented as a family but what does break that family is when one or sometimes both starts to eliminate those two or more entities, which made this group in first place, such that they dissolve within one entity to cover their mistakes and deficiency to exist on its own as an entity related to that group.

well, I think am starting to lose it here



i need to retire to bed before i start talking gibberish


thanks all and see you soon

Absolutely, and similar mindsets.

I have been dragged up on a golf course, so it was natural that I would marry a man who was a golfer.

I am a believer in that too.

I'd say I'm quieter in real life then online, Other then that I'm just me.

I agree, and then there are the ones who don't stand for what they origally say, when their post or thread is picked on, they tend to start agreeing with the other posters to avoid taking a stance....(not directed at you Vinny)

when people allow themselves to be re-directed from where they started , tells me that in real life, they will go with the crowd ( they are not their own man/woman)they are what others want them to be... I can't stand that those people....JMO I have more respect for someone who stands for something, even if I dis-agree with it......