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I failed chemistry class in HS...hum...I wonder if that is what I am doing wrong...??

You deserve the best Ken. Always. I'm glad to know that you won't settle for less than that.

There are two types of bonds in chemistry:

Ionic and Covalent.


Here's the difference, using bonding dynamics as a metaphor for human relationships.

Ionic bonding is like codependence. One atom (Chlorine or Cl, for instance) wants or is missing an electron. Another atom (Na, or sodium) wants to be rid of an electron to be stable. They bond into a salt, NaCl. Strong ties as long as there's no solvent. The minute solvent comes into play (H2O, or stress), they break apart violently, only to cling together again the moment the solvent evaporates.

Covalent bonding is between two atoms that are balanced electronwise, like C or carbon. They share their electrons at need, being an extremely stable compound on their own, but creating strong bonds with each other as chemical situations around them change. This is my kind of relationship. A partnership that is stable, independent, and yet flexible enough to come together at times of crisis in a unified way.

JMO folks.

I suppose people get complacent because life gets in the way. However, this time around, I want it all, so I won't be getting complacent. That, as anything else, is a decision. Part of the attitude.

Yes, there will be reactive areas of our lives that will make us not feel brilliant.

Then we need communication, again the first flushes of love, are about communication, use that when the bad times hit us, communicate, hold our hands up and say 'I love you and I know you are suffering, I am here'

Love is all about the good and supporting the one you love and the chemistry will survive. Chemistry and love our ours to create, like children, we create them, we love them immediately, we love them their whole lives, why not do that with our partners?

Oh I have learnt so much in my time alone and how I wanted another relationship to be.

And that is exactly how I want to be, it is exactly how it is.

Too funny!

I love that.

Well, I wish I had passed mine, when it came to divorcing my ex husband, I seriously wanted to blow him up.

I might have the charges backwards on the salt model...I don't have my periodic table in front of me, and its been 12 years since college...

Sending John a big bag of fertilizer.....

Beautiful Dru, just beautiful.

I am still with that bandit in his place, but when I go home next week, it will be six weeks before we see each other again, but we know that each day we will pass with the knowledge that we will have it all again soon.

And I like my goodnight call, I like my morning call.

Your late husband sounds a dream. And a wonderful man, and there are many of them out there.

Wow, is this general chemistry or analytical chemistry...

Attitude is a big part!

Its just a thought I had years ago when I was taking psychology concurrent with Organic Chemistry...

Brilliantly stated, GB. Too many have the first kind of bond. They are not whole individuals, and so need another to complete them.

HJ said this in another forum, and I copied it to share here:
So many are "looking" for love, I AM loved.
So many are looking for another to complete them, I AM complete, a whole entity.
So many are looking for their better half,I want an equal.

This is the second type you spoke of...and the kind that leads to a stable, lasting relationship. I had a rune reading the other day, and one of the runes that came up was Gebo/Partnership. One thing it says for that rune in the book is this: "True partnership is only achieved by separate and whole beings who retain their separateness even as they unite." That is the second bond you speak of, and it takes all three things I stated in my previous post. My late husband and I had it. Were it not for his illness, I believe we had what it took to make the long run. I want a chance at that again, and I'm not willing to settle for less anymore.

Oh...is it why I'm still here on CS? No. I'll remain here after I find it, for the friendships and sharing. Is it why I'm still single? Yes. I haven't found it again yet.

Hey I will fill it up and mail it back to you.

But what about the folks that find it...... but don't pay attention to it.... because they think there is always something better out there.... Are those the Love chemstry Junkies?

No, they are fools.

Anything to make the love grow!!!

I agree...... but how do we identify them? Cause usually they are the ones that hurt others?

It is. And you have to make that decision every day to love that person, even the days that all you want to do is kick their ass. You decide to love, you decide to give that hug or kiss that keeps the fires burning, you decide to continue to make love enough to keep both people happy until their bones (or boners) won't allow for it anymore. You decide to share and be partners and friends, to communicate even when it's the hardest thing to do. Sometimes that decision is as simple as holding a hand when that hand is empty and needs to be held.

I was just joking Tracey I've taken all that Chemistry and more... enough for a life time.... but it never helped me with my relationships....