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not a bad quote either, better to indulge this than jealousy or envy .. in an altruistic world?

Acts of Love are infinite and indescribable.
Such as God.

One just 'knows' or has 'knowledge' when there is an
act of Love.

And, any type of interaction with another will show you
what the act of Love is because the knowledge is within you.

You have a very good thread going here. We must have to
engage our brain before coming up with answers.

For me it will only be with a long term committment. However,
that does not mean my partner is going to feel the same. My
first marriage lasted 36 years and had a lot of lows along
with magnificent highs, but we worked on all these things
and knew our love and the committment we made would keep us
together.
My 2nd marriage was too fast on our thinking process and only
lasted 2 years, which was devasting to me as I went into it
for a lifetime.
For many, I would assume, they would not mind that quick
intimate feeling for just a short time.
But not for me (JMO)

I've been on my own for way too long to want to get married just to be married. Frankly, the thought scares the hell out of me, yet a good marriage is something I would like to have in my life. Not so much that I would settle for the wrong person or marry just to be married. That would just end in divorce. And I've already been there and done that.

Monogamy is a choice. It's not always an easy one. But it's still a choice. What monogamy isn't is an act of desperation. It's an act of love and trust.

Okay, I just read a few responses that talk about God and sperm and left me going, what the heck??

So, I'm just replying to the original post...
I do agree that the desperate search for The One or a marriage partner is slightly ridiculous because of so many other people being overlooked in the process.

I personally think that, these days, it's so hard just to find quality people to be life long friends with. Real people you can depend on, without even bringing the complicated issue of 'soilmate' or 'love' into it. So, yes, I don't know what all that marriage stuff is all about when it's hard enough to just find a person that won't run away the moment things are creams puffs and rainbows. The divorce rate and lacking of even finding a quality person to talk to makes me strongly doubt the point of marriage.

As for you mentioning monogamy, monogamy and 'love'/'marriage' aren't the same thing. I don't exactly believe in love or marriage, but I do believe in monogamous 'relations' because I have a clean body and would like to keep it that way.

So, monogamous activity I support.
The marriage, love, soul mate stuff--that can be out on the back shelf until I'm done trying to just find decent people to stick around for good conversation.

Not everyone struggles with multiple partners.

Very truthfully.....

I simply do not believe in marriage.

But do you believe in monogamy, Gozo?

I would say in the world of the egoic Mind, anything goes.
The ego would define love to suit any interpretation that
would help ego to survive.

or 'acts of pseudo love'.

Yes.

I believe in a partnership.

And if I am in one, then I am faithful to that partner.

What would I be doing there if not?

And...expect the same.....

my point was to set aside reconcieved notions and behaviors that we are 'accustomed to' in order to truely answer the question.


But is this because of the preconcieved notions do you think? Is what has been engrained in society as moral, the reason you feel this way?

Ditto

It doesn't seem functional anymore does it, at least not for most people.



monogamus, for me sort of means marriage, committment to one single person intimately. However, thew question is, how healthy is this for our own growth, when 'lasting' has become such an dominant issue.

You really seem to be sitting on the fence DC. Is it really an act of love? or an act of respect for the others feelings and or a choice welcomed by us to avoid the tension that results from having not been monogamus while 'partnered'? the guilt, the other's anger, etc.

I was more questioning the whole moral code of not partnering based on wanting it to be 'forever' as opposed to experiencing singular 'moments' of partnering that may offer more than soulmate searching could. These of course can happen with one single person but if life presents opportunity for more moments, why does 'the code' take precidence?

I agree the 'lasting' thing is an issue.

I don't agree that just because you're with one person intimately, it hinders your growth; and so you shouldn't be monogamous.
I believe if you're in healthy intimate relationship with one where the intimacy is good and satisfying, then you don't have to spend any extra effort on trying to find someone else to satisfy you intimately; you can use that effort to 'grow' or concentrate on other things in your life since that part is being fulfilled.

Ah, what an amazing run-on sentence.

=)

I can't disagree. How many of us really get that though, the one where satisfying is ongoing within the monogamy.

One needs to work on relationships, for sure. Does the need to experience that thought or notion of a long satifying relationship, outweigh the satisfying nature of more singular moments that may not last and are not based in that preconcieved notion of monogamous and forever.

If you continue to learn from and find good value in the
monogamous relationship or 'marriage' or something
other than that, then Love or acts of Love are involved.

Could be if the marriage is long lasting the act of Love
would be

tolerance.

In any altruistic sense, which is usually were you are coming from dusty .. your words also apply to 'short' relationships.

Altruism is relatively unattainable, because of and to use your own word ..'ego' .. so the realm of altuism isn't in question. Maybe some day in the distant future? For now the question is preconcieved notions and behaviors and how they affect us for good or bad..

But, if you keep your belief system this way, short of
being altruistic, the shift will never happen.