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Love is an act of selflessness....

Y'all keep talking about 'love' becoming involved. And what is this Love exactly? You're involved with someone in a monogamous relationship and you can't stop thinking about them? Or if tok buy each other gifts? Or if you talk on the phone a lot and/ or are there for each other emotionally? Is that love? Even if some of that is only given by one of the people? I'm confused about what you think 'Love' is. Which, of course, is just a matter of opinion. But, I don't believe that kind of 'love' exists. And I think marriage is just a piece of paper and a spot on the county public records list. Next to the list of incoming divorces.

the preconcieved notions must be seen first












I am saying your are a few steps ahead of the discovery

<smile> ok.

hey hugz..





Would selflessness include indulging a man for you, or a woman for men, who was in need of intimacy and connection. Would you be so selfless as to accomodate them, to toss aside the preconcieved notions of society and your own chains of perception to provide for your fellow man.

It really is, even if one an adequately describe love, a fleeting thing, as ephemoral as butterfly fluttering by us. We appreciate the butterfly in that one moment and make no more requests of it, save perhaps to experience them again at another time.

Yet with humans passing by us, that innate nature to just be in nature becomes somehow a need to imprison the notion, to keep it ours forever or at least keep it within the realms of our immediate future as if this is love.

Would we do this one single butterfly, if seeing them were the notion of love? I suppose as kids we did, by capturing them and keepin them in a jar; but i think most of realise at some point the cruelty in keeping them locked away and so released them.

And this is probably closer to love than keeping them.

I'm sorry Jacob. I got lost in your poor attempt to be deep and poetic. Just nod your head in concurrence. So we can get out of here and get a drink already. Don't worry, I won't ask you to love me.

=p

Yes they would include my own notions...not societies....I'm not sure I could toss away my own notions...but hey I am working on testing those limits and doing just that...reexamining and letting go or preconception...and taking things just as they are and as they come....

I would make a poor attempt at almost anything

Feigning poorness affords me the company of those who can relate to it.

Shall I bring a net?

I'm not at all on the fence. Being monogamous doesn't have to be an act of love, but it is still a choice. I think it can be an act of love, and an act of respect for ones partner. I don't think for most that it's to avoid tension in the relationship or guilt.

Marriage can be thought of as ownership to some. Having that piece of paper means you are locked, ball-and-chain style. But it doesn't have to be that way.

The only thing the paper really represents is your tax break for ostensibly committing to create new tax-payers. Otherwise, your just a partnership of single-entity corporate tax IDS.

Well I'm not comin yet ... give me a lil more time or perhaps a hand

A lot of our 'notions' and codes are society or parent driven, not an easy task, undoing what we thought was right for us to find what truely is right for us.

Yes...and I think I had a lot of stead fast notions of my own that I placed there do to past experiences as well...which I am now beginning to see...and let go of....and to relax others...which can be kind of unnerving also...when you are used to holding onto things that represent the status-quo for yourself at least...

So you don't make choices for yourself based on the consequences, relative to the emotional sensitivity of the person you choose Dana?

Then why is there marriage GB? If its unneccessary as anything but a tax break, what purpose does it serve except some preconcieved notion of 'owning' the presence of another beyond moments of personal interaction

Its an institution utilized by the beauracracy to perpetuate its income. Gay marriage isn't so much morally reprehensible, once you get past all the rhetoric. Its economically reprehensible to institutions that dont exist without a fresh generation of taxpayers.

So the question should really be..Not..."Will you marry me???" BUT "Will you be my tax deduction????" then....

Agreed. Difficult to stay in the moment without the past intruding on the view and altering it. The universe seems built this way though. Always able to look back in time, never forward... How many times do we have to see fuck up in our past before we change the status quo that keeps leading to fuck up.

Oh wow.....how romantic

Its obselete in the social scene. I've known several LT partners that didn't get married, had kids, and under common-law would be married. But getting the piece of paper wasnt' important to them because it wasn't about what the state thinks. Its about how they feel.