My Condom Adventures

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Diamond789 Fort Worth , Texas USA

Sun Jan 4, 2009 6:33 PM CST : My Condom Adventures

My Condom Adventures

Diamond

I usually try to add sumpin to "The Forums" that's suitable for the average person to read and possibly appreciate. Considering," Condom" is a common household word,I'll continue on.

Condoms have been handed out in schools and cities hopefully to guard against many types of sexually transmitted diseases. Educational programs have been incorporated into various communities as well. Lectures for the reasons for Condoms abounded at one time.
Because there's less lectures now,does that mean the diseases have been defeated? Perhaps the use of a Condom is merely a safe alternative and excuse to just having sex. An excuse to mother nature," I didn't really mean to do it,but I had this extra Condom lying around the house".
Or like one of our President's might say," I didn't really have sex, the Condom did".
Oneday I clicked the T-V on and there was a group of women sitting around a huge giant Phallus trying to slip a condom on it.Upon completion of the project they sat around, hands clasped, beaming with pride.

I remember when I was growing up in San Antonio Texas, Condom machines( dispensers) were hanging in every gas station mans bathroom everywhere.They sold for 25 cents ea.in those days.I remember riding my bike to a station and a group of old men were sitting around on bent buckets, chewing snuff and whittling sticks under the awning near the entry to the building.
I stopped to air one of the tires up.As I was doing just that, one of the men walked up and handed me a new sealed Condom.
I didn't know what it was so he told me," a balloon son, fill it with water and toss it to your dad".

I hurried home just as dad was pulling into the driveway.In my sneaky way I dropped the bike and ran into the kitchen and filled that balloon with water.I tied a knot on the opening, turned around and tossed it to my dad who had just walked thru' the front door.Which ushered in the worst whuppin' I ever had in my life.
Dad then drove to that gas station and whupped everyone of those old guys but good.

When he returned he whupped on me somemore.When mom got home she shrieked when dad told her what happened,then she whupped me some too.When my two sisters got home from school they both slapped hell out of me and kicked me in the nuts.That was my worst day ever and my first experience with a Condom.I was 6 years old.

Years later I went to Mexico and stopped in at a Cantina to sip beer and visit with the Chicas. I sat down in a booth and a fair maiden sat down next to me.I agreed to participate in a sinful manner with her whereupon she produced the most dreadful looking thing I could have ever imagined. The Condom !

While I trembled with fear of the,"C"thing...she led me to a backroom. As she went to put it on me,she snapped it ! OW ! Damn!
I couldn't wait to get out of that thing and back to Texas!

Oneday last week I decided to go "Condom Lookin'" at our local store. As my shaking legs wobbled me thru' the aisles I spied an old shriveled up lady wearing the stores' apron complete with logo, hobbling along.
Thru' cracked lips and toothless gums,she cackled and pointed to the dreaded,"Condom Display".
The display was huge! I stood at a safe distance in shock.Damn! Hundreds were stacked in neat rows.Horseheads were on containers and even Fruitflavors!Glow in the dark. Incredible!

The old crone was still cackling when I left.

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