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Ambrose2007: Well, I think feeling exactly the same way all the time would be rather absurd, and not an ideal at all. Different emotions seem entirely appropriate - if not inescapably attached - to different circumstances. Would you truly not wish to experience the special joy of (say) a wonderful lovemaking session, a hike to the top of a gorgeous mountain, or an exhilarating ski run - as opposed to the emotions generated by being stuck in traffic, dragging yourself out of bed Monday morning, or enduring the death of a close friend?

Stability cannot sensibly refer to a "monotonal" emotional state - that would be the province of zombies.

Sommerauer71: It is dramatic yes and a feeling that we become addicted to.

I have learnt from the negatives from my marriage and my last long relationship, because it was something that I knew I had played my part in.

Which takes me back to acceptance, accepting that any relationship is not usually the fault of one party, it takes two to make a relationship work and two to make one fail.

My ex husband left me for woman ten years younger than me, I could have sat in that misery for years, emotional stability and intelligence made me face up to the part I played in that break up and it did, it was not all of his fault, he ran to another for comfort and I stayed alone. Because I knew I had to, to recover. I did. But I hold no issue with him and his partner now, we are quite the nuclear family with us all getting along nicely.

That is emotional stability, acceptance. Being tooled enough to know that we can and will recover. The negatives are there when it goes wrong, but we need to feel the negatives to learn and recover.

Ambrose2007: Right - and I've always been amazed by - and admire you for - that accomplishment. Few people can pull that off (my love, gg, is one of them).

JB made an excellent point on another thread a day or so ago about the addictive side of the "love drama." Drama in general creates entertainment, excitement, and often a feeling of powerful bonding. That's the plus (potentially addictive) side. It can be hard to see the excitement in a relationship diminishing, so there can be a temptation to artificially maintain it through unhealthy or unnatural machinations.

Ambrose2007: "Well, I think feeling exactly the same way all the time would be rather absurd, and not an ideal at all. Different emotions seem entirely appropriate - if not inescapably attached - to different circumstances. Would you truly not wish to experience the special joy of (say) a wonderful lovemaking session, a hike to the top of a gorgeous mountain, or an exhilarating ski run - as opposed to the emotions generated by being stuck in traffic, dragging yourself out of bed Monday morning, or enduring the death of a close friend?

Stability cannot sensibly refer to a "monotonal" emotional state - that would be the province of zombies".

Sommerauer71: I agree with JB, love is a drama in itself, we do become addicted to these feelings, especially at first, and yes, when a relationship begins to diminish then it is hard, but then it depends on how the people involved deal with it, if I felt my relationship was diminishing and he was losing interest, then I would ask him.

Wild horses will not make a person be with me if he does not want to be and I would be foolish to think otherwise. However much it hurts me.

And GG, is a lucky woman.

gingerb: Well, I think feeling exactly the same way all the time would be rather absurd, and not an ideal at all. Different emotions seem entirely appropriate - if not inescapably attached - to different circumstances. Would you truly not wish to experience the special joy of (say) a wonderful lovemaking session, a hike to the top of a gorgeous mountain, or an exhilarating ski run - as opposed to the emotions generated by being stuck in traffic, dragging yourself out of bed Monday morning, or enduring the death of a close friend?

Stability cannot sensibly refer to a "monotonal" emotional state - that would be the province of zombies.

I would agree very much with what you are saying here, but would go further, and say that mental and emotional instability is an inability to express appropriate emotions consistant with the occasion.

For instance it would be showing instability in our emotional expression to smile if you were angry or being beaten or tortured, just as it would be wrong to not be able to express a feeling of joy with a whoop or laugh or shout or scream.

Many of the natural responses that small children have are actually appropriate responses emotionally to various situations, and many people spend most of their parental lives, taming down or eradicating these emotional responses in them, to socialise them, something I believe is wrong and screws people up in later life.

Many of the successful methods used to correct mental instability and emotional instability in adults, is to make them scream and cry and shout and do ridiculous things that make them laugh. They are also taught to re-live painful memories and express the appropriate responses in order to get better, even if what they express appears extreme.

I think that if one needs to shout, or dance around the kitchen, or scream, or beat hell out of a set of drums, cry, laugh or whatever the feeling inside you dictates, then it is appropriate to do it at that time, in keeping with what your holistic self needs to stay emotionally healthy.

X_REBEL: yes i agree...for some it's a good thing and it works for them. And i never claimed to be fully imune against it...i'm just at a level where most people are not...and i resolve all my issues myself...and it works for me and i'm content with that. I'm not closed for new viewpoints too resolve issues...and i'm not saying this outa arrrogance...

gingerb: Sorry quotes from ambrose didn't work in the last one...

I would agree very much with what you are saying here, but would go further, and say that mental and emotional instability is an inability to express appropriate emotions consistant with the occasion.

For instance it would be showing instability in our emotional expression to smile if you were angry or being beaten or tortured, just as it would be wrong to not be able to express a feeling of joy with a whoop or laugh or shout or scream.

Many of the natural responses that small children have are actually appropriate responses emotionally to various situations, and many people spend most of their parental lives, taming down or eradicating these emotional responses in them, to socialise them, something I believe is wrong and screws people up in later life.
Many of the successful methods used to correct mental instability and emotional instability in adults, is to make them scream and cry and shout and do ridiculous things that make them laugh. They are also taught to re-live painful memories and express the appropriate responses in order to get better, even if what they express appears extreme.

I think that if one needs to shout, or dance around the kitchen, or scream, or beat hell out of a set of drums, cry, laugh or whatever the feeling inside you dictates, then it is appropriate to do it at that time, in keeping with what your holistic self needs to stay emotionally healthy.

Big_John: Hell if I was emotionally stable I wouldn't be on this web site.

My friends and family thinks I nuts!!!

Sommerauer71: Hi Kitten..

As a matter of interest, what is drama?

Sommerauer71: Would you describe yourselves as emotionally stable? I see alot of these threads asking for confirmation that the people are attractive, or threads stating that they are down, threads that ask why places like this do not work.

Do potential partners prefer a person who is emotionally stable?

I see so many people who are alone and clearly want to meet a person, yet they seem to find it impossible to meet a person. And I would describe them as completely emotionally intelligent and stable. From their words alone. I am musing today, and thought I would ask you lot, your thoughts.

Sommerauer71: Would you describe yourselves as emotionally stable? I see alot of these threads asking for confirmation that the people are attractive, or threads stating that they are down, threads that ask why places like this do not work.

Do potential partners prefer a person who is emotionally stable?

I see so many people who are alone and clearly want to meet a person, yet they seem to find it impossible to meet a person. And I would describe them as completely emotionally intelligent and stable. From their words alone. I am musing today, and thought I would ask you lot, your thoughts.

Shirley49WV: I am emotionally stable for today but hell who knows what tomorrow will bring?

jvaski: I would be alot more emeotionally stable after having some of my prescious fluids relieved .......... in fact - downright easy going and agreeable to almost anyhting ........

jvaski: I would be alot more emeotionally stable after having some of my prescious fluids relieved .......... in fact - downright easy going and agreeable to almost anyhting ........