Funniest sexual joke you have heard

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Allen38 Isfahan Iran
Come and laugh, or tell the newest seual joke to make others laugh.


"A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a
question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he
accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does,
his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite
startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your
heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm
in room 1221."
"
Sparky55 Kabul Afghanistan
Allen38: Come and laugh, or tell the newest seual joke to make others laugh."A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a
question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he
accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does,
his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite
startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your
heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm
in room 1221."
"


rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing I needed a laugh, thanks..
Polarbutterfly Somewhere, Northwest Territories Canada
In response to: Come and laugh, or tell the newest seual joke to make others laugh."A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a
question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he
accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does,
his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite
startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your
heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm
in room 1221."
"



"Bottom's up..?."

wow
dcj22 Somewhere, Kansas USA
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing


Loved it!
Lillym Sliema, Majjistral Malta
That's one heck of an answer....rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing



mbcasey North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina USA
laugh rolling on the floor laughing



buzzy biddeford, Maine USA
old joke
Polarbutterfly Somewhere, Northwest Territories Canada
buzzy: old joke




"So,is it....?".


doh



arabella Near Farmington, Maine USA
On a very cold night, a young man dropped into the local brothel and the madam said, "You'll have to wait."

"But there's lots of girls that aren't busy right now."

"Yes, but several of the rooms are closed for repairs."

"Listen, I'm pretty desperate. I don't need a room."

So she takes his money and he goes upstairs with one of the staff and, after looking for a place to consummate the transaction, they decide to do it on the roof. But it's a very cold night, and they freeze to death and fall to the sidewalk.

A passing drunk looks them over, staggers to the door, and knocks.

"Go away!" says the madam. "We don't allow drunks in here!"

The drunk grins and says, "Hey lady, I just wanted to tell you that your sign fell down."



grin



hawk69 somewhere, New Jersey USA
A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show him a scope.
The clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man, "This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that hill."
The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing.
"What's so funny?" asks the clerk.
"I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in the house." the man replies.
The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his house. Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, "Here are two bullets, I'll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife's head off and shoot the guy's dick off."
The man takes another look through the scope and says, "You know what? I think I can do that with one shot!" yay
druidess6308 Reverse, Pennsylvania USA
Allen38: Come and laugh, or tell the newest seual joke to make others laugh."A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a
question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he
accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does,
his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite
startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your
heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm
in room 1221."
"
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
druidess6308 Reverse, Pennsylvania USA
arabella: On a very cold night, a young man dropped into the local brothel and the madam said, "You'll have to wait."

"But there's lots of girls that aren't busy right now."

"Yes, but several of the rooms are closed for repairs."

"Listen, I'm pretty desperate. I don't need a room."

So she takes his money and he goes upstairs with one of the staff and, after looking for a place to consummate the transaction, they decide to do it on the roof. But it's a very cold night, and they freeze to death and fall to the sidewalk.

A passing drunk looks them over, staggers to the door, and knocks.

"Go away!" says the madam. "We don't allow drunks in here!"

The drunk grins and says, "Hey lady, I just wanted to tell you that your sign fell down."
rolling on the floor laughing
druidess6308 Reverse, Pennsylvania USA
hawk69: A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show him a scope.
The clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man, "This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that hill."
The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing.
"What's so funny?" asks the clerk.
"I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in the house." the man replies.
The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his house. Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, "Here are two bullets, I'll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife's head off and shoot the guy's dick off."
The man takes another look through the scope and says, "You know what? I think I can do that with one shot!"


It was funny a few days ago when you first told it. dunno laugh



hawk69 somewhere, New Jersey USA
druidess6308: It was funny a few days ago when you first told it.
Are you serious? I have never posted this before. If you are serious I defy you to point out where and when you allege I posted it. confused You wont be able to because you are wrong.
DogMaI Sartell, Minnesota USA
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?dunno














Twolaugh



dillydally Strathclyde, Strathclyde, Scotland UK
What Is Your Favorite Pastime?


For his final project in a statistics class, a student decided to conduct a survey. So it wouldn’t be a boring project, he chose to find out peoples’ favorite pastimes. The teacher required that he sample at least 100 people, so he started out his project visiting a fairly large apartment building near the university.

He knocked on the first door and a man answered.

“Sir, what is your name ?” ; asked the student

“John” ,

“Sir, I’m doing a school study and would like to know what is your favorite pastime ?”

“Watching bubbles in the bath,” came the reply. He liked the esoterical answer and continued down the hall, until he came to the next door, when he asked again.

“Sir, what is your name ?”

“Jeff!” ,

“Sir, Would you please tell me your favorite pastime ?”

“Watching bubbles in the bath,” was the answer.

Quite amused and confused he went on to ask a good number of people in the building and and all of them had the same pastime “watching bubbles in the bath”.

He left the building and walked across the street where there were several row houses to continue the survey.

At the first house, he knocks and an attractive college girl opens the door.

Our surveyor starts again - “What is your name?”

“Bubbles!”






roll eyes



Allen38 Isfahan Iran
Thank you for your nice jokes. The time I created this thread, sadly I got hacked and couldn't share the laughs.
Pls tell other jokes and enjoy



Allen38 Isfahan Iran
dillydally: What Is Your Favorite Pastime?For his final project in a statistics class, a student decided to conduct a survey. So it wouldn’t be a boring project, he chose to find out peoples’ favorite pastimes. The teacher required that he sample at least 100 people, so he started out his project visiting a fairly large apartment building near the university.

He knocked on the first door and a man answered.

“Sir, what is your name ?” ; asked the student

“John” ,

“Sir, I’m doing a school study and would like to know what is your favorite pastime ?”

“Watching bubbles in the bath,” came the reply. He liked the esoterical answer and continued down the hall, until he came to the next door, when he asked again.

“Sir, what is your name ?”

“Jeff!” ,

“Sir, Would you please tell me your favorite pastime ?”

“Watching bubbles in the bath,” was the answer.

Quite amused and confused he went on to ask a good number of people in the building and and all of them had the same pastime “watching bubbles in the bath”.

He left the building and walked across the street where there were several row houses to continue the survey.

At the first house, he knocks and an attractive college girl opens the door.

Our surveyor starts again - “What is your name?”

“Bubbles!”

Loved that!




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