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I met someone on here not far from me maybe like 50 miles and we got along pretty good we IM'd each other on Yahoo and we planned to meet for a walk or coffee or something and next day her profile was gone and she wouldn't even answer me on IM even though she was lit up. Go figure! I was sad because it's hard to find someone local.

It happens all the time...I use to take it personally, but dont anymore...It is a fast moving Industry...Not everyone takes the time to respond...It is best to just keep doing what you are doing..Most do not want to hurt your feelings, or they might be going through the same thing...I doubt that it is you...

It has happened to me many times in the last few months.
At times it lasted a few weeks other times a few days.
"I like you, your such fun, I enjoyed talking so much with you.
I can hardly wait for talking to you some more"
etc.etc.
Same dialoge, different guys.
Yes I too have asked myself what went wrong, what did I do?
I know in my heart I did nothing wrong.
Except for one guy, all had ended on a positive note so........?
Yes they just fade away never saying; sorry I have met someone I feel more compatable with.

Honestly ooby, I am with you, I had not arranged to meet this man, but we were chatting and then puff, not a word, I can only assume that he met another, but it is the not knowing isn't it?

There is nothhing to hold onto? Yes, like Sassy, she approached a man, and he just went. A state that is not nice and people should have the balls to say no, I am not interested.

I am so with you both.

I mean I do not respond to alot of mails. But they are from people who have not read my profile, people that I was getting to know, I would never not respond.

Of course you were sad, whilst it is here, once you begin to make plans and meet then it becomes real and that is why it makes you feel sad.

The swines, fear or whatever, they should at least know what little bit of sadness they do leave behind when they behave in this way.

I use to let these things bother me that I could not even get things done around the house, my feelings were so hurt...Then I realized, I am better than that......

Oh i have a hide like a rhinocerous, but I can understand the feeling, it has taken me 18 months of being alone, at my own behest to become tough, aside from friends here, I had little intention of meeting any man from here, then I did, out of nowhere.

So yes, whilst we can overcome it and think sod it, it still rankles that it is bad manners especially when people do feel hurt.

Thats a good healthy attitude!

I still got pnemonia if anyone is wondering

But I am feeling better than I did last week

I missed you all ...especially the ones of you who write
Thanks for being so nice and thoughtful to those of you who have tried to be kind and don't let my absence make you feel like I am jilting a friend I just am trying to get well and this place can be soooo draining on ones emotions

This is for YOU and you know very well who YOU are!

Glad you're doing somewhat better Joktan.

dont forget the obvious. It is possible they died, or had financial pressures that caused them to disconnect their internet connection.

You are not alone!

Well there is that, even I cannot argue if a person has died.

There is always a way that a person can say no thanks, or at least get in touch, if they are alive.

I would be more hurt by this than just coming out and saying "thanks, but no thanks."

i think you know something is wrong when that coffee is taking way to long

Actually that did happen to me. I was emailing and sending IM's to a friend in America. I didn't hear from him for a few weeks, when out of the blue I got an email through the site to say that as I was one of his contacts, she felt it only fair to let me know that he had died in his sleep a few weeks before. Call me suspicious, but I still wonder if this was an irate wife or girlfriend, who after checking his computer out, decided to get her own back by telling everyone he was dead........... But there is always the possibility it was true!

I find it annoying when you have built up a raport with someone over a couple of months of emails and phone calls and arrange to meet........ Then out of the blue comes the excuse why they can't. On the other hand, there are those who you have travelled a substantial distance to see and they stand you up, with no excuse whatsoever, apologise a few days later and ask for a new meet. Then there are those who suddenly disappear in a cloud of smoke, the moment discussion of a meeting is made........ I put these down to them being married or in a relationship.

However in the past I have found out that school kids have lied to set up accounts and spend, what they see as fun, winding up people. These can generally be caught out due to their inability to hold a conversation in anything but kiddy text talk...

Obviously in some cases they disappear, because in reality they were some kind of scammer, but like others have said there are many logical reasons for disappearing. I was fortunate to meet one of the "good ones" here, after sharing e-mails for a while she was kind enough to tell me she was leaving the site, and wished " good luck in my search". Personally I think that shows a lot of class, if she found someone she likes better than me then I'm happy for her, and I only hope that I will be that fortunate in time.

Ta Joktan............ .......lol

Hope your better soon.......

Have some.......

ah that's just part of cyber life.... buck up lil buckaroo---if it was meant to be, it would have, eh? Someday your Sunshine will come and she will stay...

So very true.

thanks for bringin this up ooby

its great to see and maybe makes it clear for us
people that do that
its more about them than us

its good to hear stories like this
its happened to me a number of times over the years
im glad im not alone in that-its a comfort

i really believe rejection is gods protection

many people or jobs/opportunities or whatever have passed me by
and i have learned later that i was so lucky for it.

we dont always have to get down in the dirt to get rid of someone-

Some people disappear because they are stooges. If you're a CEO who owns an online dating service that isn't doing so well, there is nothing to stop you from hiring some guy who looks like Vladimir Lenin to "pad" your company with a bunch of fake female profiles to lure in a bunch of sex-starved guys in their 20s who have money to spend.