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Sommerauer71: Ship, you are just great, you know this, yes?

tainogirl: I am glad to see that some men have the backbone to go for it and you got your man summer I don't usually get this way but something happened on the way to drop my kid of at daycare that got me thinking about how we waste precious moments of time in indecision instead of sometimes just going for it.

This morning I witnessed a horrible accident on the same bus route I cross everyday with my kid. A guy got knocked down by a goverment official's car then run over by a bus. I had to pass this awful site to get to the daycare. As I saw this guy lying there I thought about how fleeting time can be. He won't have another minute to turn and hug and kiss someone and tell them he loved them and we the living sometimes make a mockery of this precious thing we call time. I say if you think you found something good you should go for it and take a chance and not waste a minute of the happiness you've found.

pretzelman: you know, Sommer, I really believe what I said.

Although I left Florida less than two months ago, I didn't feel the time was right to commit to Sharon, totally. But now that I realize that I do love and miss her, I felt the time was right, recently, and I told her. I made the move when I felt it was right, and not just because I felt I should say that before leaving Florida.Love is slippery, evasive and aloof; yet yearning to be captured, while begging for it's freedom. So, you must make your moves accordingly to satisfy love's demands

tainogirl: Here are two scenarios. You've been seeing a guy in real or you met someone online. In the first instance you've met,dated and seem compatible on many levels but he's still hesitant to take the next step of committment, or for those who've met online you've sent IM, e-mails, phonecalls till all hours and you're acting like you are already in a relationship, yet he hesitates to visit you and see where your're heading. In both scenarios how long would you be patient and wait before you thought of moving on.

Sommerauer71: Tainogirl

Interesting, I met my man from here, we waited two months before we met, but that was because of work commitments, and so on.

We had spoken for the most part, everyday of those two months.

So I think I would have not have waited much longer than that period.

If he had been hesistant, I would have sensed it and I would have dropped him like a hot brick, I know I would, but he was not, work, was the main reason where it was hard for him to make arrangements and when we did finally, it was very different because we knew then it was going to happen.

If you are in this position, and it is not an easy one, I would offer him this, 'Please can we arrange to meet, if you are in any way concerned about it or do not feel up to it, please tell me'

There is nothing wrong in that, some may make it seem like it is desperation, but I do not care, it is not, it is common courtesy that a person who is involved to this depth be honest to the other one about their intentions.

If ther eis heistation I would ask and I found the answer satisfactory and I could accept it, then I would wait, treavel is not cheap and time is hard to spare, so all of that in consideration, I would push it a little, as in my sentence, but then I would leave it if I felt that it was going nowhere, most of the people here I have encountered are looking for a serious relationship, and that is how they seek, and people who do respond should have the courtesy and good manners to show that they are too, if they are not interested then they should say. If they want friendship then they should say. It is not hard is it?

If you are in this position Tain, I wish you the very best of luck.

In response to: Here are two scenarios. You've been seeing a guy in real or you met someone online. In the first instance you've met,dated and seem compatible on many levels but he's still hesitant to take the next step of committment, or for those who've met online you've sent IM, e-mails, phonecalls till all hours and you're acting like you are already in a relationship, yet he hesitates to visit you and see where your're heading. In both scenarios how long would you be patient and wait before you thought of moving on.

Tater: Men have their minds made up after the first two or three dates, if they want to date you or not, so if they seems hesitant...... beware... they are either only wanting sex from time to time, have you on the side because they are dating someone else, or are trying to let you down easy, because in alot of those cases you did have sex with them by the second date....and they don't want to date you but don't want to seem like a total dick either...Or they have emotional problems.... JMO

pretzelman: Although this is geared to women...I'm gonna put my $.02 in.
(because I am ornery that way)I usually sen an e-mail! "Do you want to have a relationship with me?" I wait thirty minutes for a response. If no response is received within the given time, I send just one more e-mail ( I hate to tagged a nuisance). "Never mind...NEXT!"

sassy49senior: I was hoping in the near future to meet a couple of men
that I am very fond of. One disappeared as soon as I
mentioned beyond friendship, the other is taken. I will
now just continue with friendships as the other hurts a
little too much.

sassy49senior: I was hoping in the near future to meet a couple of men
that I am very fond of. One disappeared as soon as I
mentioned beyond friendship, the other is taken. I will
now just continue with friendships as the other hurts a
little too much.

stefonline: I would say both....a Dick....plus emotional problems....

tainogirl: Sorry to hear about that Sassy. We had a great friendship going for these years, then he said he wanted more and I was interested. He acts like he wants guarantees that this is going to work out(a relationship) and I can give no such guarantees, its all about taking a chance. There are times I wonder if it should not have been just left as a friendship,now there are emotions involved. The hurt comes from knowing that because of this stalemate you stand to loose not only the friend but the friendship as well.

Ambrose2007: Sheesh. You make me feel like a Johnny Come Lately, S. I didn't meet GG until after 5 months.

kissmedeeply: Mine was 4 months in the meeting..

but for me i would have waited even longer..

I dont just jump..i look before i leap..

I had 2 precious boys to think about..not just me..

Things have worked out for Eric and me..

and am glad that he waited for me to make my choice..

He was getting very upset and frustrated..but i quess
our love was strong enough to overcome some of my fears
in meeting someone after 8 years of being single..

But i say ladies/men if something dont seem right and they
cant answer you in ur questions/fears then i say dont meet..

Something could be not just right with that picture..

All in All if its going to happen it will..

Everything happens for a reason

Sommerauer71: Hi KMD
There is no answer is there, it is what is right for each person.

Whilst I am careful, I do have that attitude of 'lets get it over and done with and then we know where we are'

For me, two months was enough, I was ready, if it had not been right for me, I would have known, I would have walked away.

I could not do what Tain has done, but I can see why she has become emotionally attached, it happens.

Good thread.

Hope you are well.

Sommerauer71: I am an impatient woman, Jeff.

Each to their own.

I cajoled, laid my cards out and said, come and get me cowboy or lose me forever.

Would not always work for some, but it did for him.

pretzelman: you know, Sommer, I really believe what I said.

Although I left Florida less than two months ago, I didn't feel the time was right to commit to Sharon, totally. But now that I realize that I do love and miss her, I felt the time was right, recently, and I told her. I made the move when I felt it was right, and not just because I felt I should say that before leaving Florida.Love is slippery, evasive and aloof; yet yearning to be captured, while begging for it's freedom. So, you must make your moves accordingly to satisfy love's demands

Tater: Men have their minds made up after the first two or three dates, if they want to date you or not, so if they seems hesitant...... beware... they are either only wanting sex from time to time, have you on the side because they are dating someone else, or are trying to let you down easy, because in alot of those cases you did have sex with them by the second date....and they don't want to date you but don't want to seem like a total dick either...Or they have emotional problems.... JMO