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I am going to be gentle here.

Firstly, you watch too much TV.

My reason for divorce were because my ex husband had an affair for three years, he left me. Nowhere, did he question that he was not the father of my children. So your first statement is a generalisation.

Your last statement, is based on whatever crap you watch on TV, many women are not against it, they are likely to be telling the truth.

You have this preconceived idea that all women are out to screw men, here is one example of such a woman, in Mychelle's post, from the facts that are presented to us.

Divorces do not break down, just because of the who is the father of the children.

I have been gentle, do not cross me unless you are completely sure of your territory.

I am fighting a man's corner here, because I believe the wrong judgement was made, however, that does not mean that I will let a post where women are made out to be liars all the time through.

Without a comment.

I am with you all the way here Sommers. I do suggest you do not need to plead your personal case here, for those who are obviously too judgemental. Statistics tell us that in Britain, one out of five children in marriages do not belong to the family father, so there is certainly a lot of sleeping around. Those statistics do not tell us if the wife has hidden this fact from the husband, nor do they tell us if husbands who have affairs resulting in children had told their wife.

What's the point of all this? No one is denying that everything is not perfect, but again I state that once a husband no longer trusts his wife, the relationship has ended

Good comments there thopkins, I raised my personal divorce as a way of showing Vido that all the way, it is not as black and white as it would seem.

We can do statistics, yes, and there is alot of sleeping around, but each case has its own merits, this one does too.

I still stand by what I said, the judgement was wrong.

yes it was totally wrong and unfair

Oh that is just so wrong. I would have walked on hot coals to get child support, but I never asked that anybody pay for something that wasn't theirs. That is so wrong.

Did DNA court ordered testing even exist when the twins were born? Perhaps DNA paternity testing was in it's infancy back then.
The woman duped him to believing these were his biological children knowing full well that the possibility existed that they were not his. What an actress she is!!
The only positive thing that I can see here is that the children had a responsible non biological father who obviously stuck around to take responsibility to raise another man's children. Too many men abandon a spouse and children that are biologically theirs!!
He would do great honor to those children to voluntarily financially continue to help out. The children will have respect for him to know that he is an honorable man, no matter how his ex-wife will belittle him.
The court is doing him a great injustice for force him to pay out for his wife's infidelity.

I read all your responses, and each of them in their own right do have merits. However, I believe the man was deceived into believing the children were his. The reason being that shortly after they were married she announced she was pregnant, when she really was pregnant before that. That's a very old trick in the book though, when some women who fear raising an illegitimate child, trick the man into thinking the said child was conceived on the night of the wedding or shortly thereafter.
What have happened, is that greediness step in, and the woman wanted more support payment, which then prompted DNA request from the man, for the twins. The results showed they were not his. It's either his or it's not, not both.
The judge was thinking that the children didn't know any other father but this man, so regardless, let him pay. As a result you now have a resentful man, a man no longer happy, who believe he was being deceived. In other words that marriage should have been deemed null and void due to deception. Her claiming she has no memory, of an affair is a first class act, a good one at that. I believe the man was screwed, both by the ex and the legal system. No if or buts about that!

I suppose the judge is looking out for the welfare of the kids, but ethically I think he made a real bad judgement call.

I doubt the wife's claim of not knowing she was pregnant when they married. The poor guy has been duped by his wife and abused by the courts.

Ray?

Yes, he hss been.

In fact, the man should be drowning his sorrows right now.

- One of the reasons that contributed for the ruling was that the putative father, even though suspecting he was not the father, fought for their custody before. The only reason he asked for DNA was when the pension was to be raised.

The judge noted that Pasqualino Cornelio wondered at the time of his separation whether a man named Tony with whom his wife had had an affair might be the father of the children.

“It was not until access was interrupted and Cornelio commenced proceedings seeking increased child support that the respondent began pursuing this issue,” the judge remarked.

In any event, she said that it would be wrong for the children to suffer for events, over which they had no control.

“Cornelio was the only father the twins knew during the course of the marriage,” Judge van Rensburg said. “The relationship that developed from the time of their birth was the natural relationship between a parent and his children.

Judge van Rensburg noted that two separate lines of jurisprudence have developed in comparable cases. One focuses on being fair to an individual who discovers that he is not a biological parent. The other concentrates on the best interests of the child.

She pointed to an expansive definition of ’parent’ under the Family Law Act, under which Cornelio can be seen as ’a person who has demonstrated a settled intention to treat a child as a child of his or her family’.

http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.jsp?articleId=281474977557408&nav=Namespace


And...child support is about the children and not about their parents. Maybe if the father was identified? See? I believe that if the biological father would have showed up, things would be slightly different. For the best interest of the kids, they need support...and he acted as their father even though he was suspicious of not being their father.

He didnot marry her knowing the kids were not his, neither did he marry her because he suspect she had an affair.
All those came about afterwards, which is what divorce are about, all sorts of insinuations, and then the truth be told.
The kids don't have any other father, because the mother cheated. If a father don't want to be a father after he told he is not, then the children have still lost. They(children) have gained absolutely nothing and have learnt to mistrust the very people that have raised them. Now, if the man still wanted to be their father then he would have been commendable, a real man in some people view. However, it still stands that he has been screwed, and the kids may have a real distrust of others in authority. society.

Now in reference to the memory loss that the ex wife has, and relating to the affair.ie no recollection because of medication she was taking. Here are several puzzling questions that are unanswered.

Did she marry her husband under the influence of said medication?

Would it be considered an assault by the other person in the affair, since she know nothing of the affair, and her memory took a leave of absence?

Did she not knowingly lie, but suffered memory loss inorder not to perjury herself?

Mychelle, it has been a great discussion and one that has raised some feelings for some people.

I was not aware that she was on medication.

Still, I am convinced that is an easy avenue to go down, blame the meds.

Sounds to me, this woman got found out, for an affair and has taken the case to court, somebody must have taken it there.

In my opinion, the man has been screwed by the system.

And by his ex wife.

Hey everyone better look to the east for wisemen, give me a break doesn't recall having sex with another man how stupid does she really think people are. Regarding the twins, If it was me in his position I would either try to adopt them or make it dang clear the money is being spent on the twins and not her in any sort of way, I am sure there is already a bond of love there as if he was the kids father. As far as the judge is concerned he is dead wrong, the man is not responsable for the children, legally they should find the real father and make him responsable and man up for his children . I had a woman try to pull that on me once, she was pregnant and looking for a man to blame it on , thankgod I didn't follow through on her invitation to date or you might have been talking about me

i think its unfair and for her to say she doesnt remember having an affair what a load of bs

It is unfair. I have seen this happen before. The children have had a great loss. They are teenagers and there is only a few years left of child support. This man will have the love and the family they will bring him. Only if he holds no anger and hate..

Virgin Birth!

here here.

I know friends of ours whose son was duped into an engagement with a partner on the grounds that she was preganant (to him) and had then given birth to twins.

Fact was she was shagging around with an ex boyfriend long before and after birth of twins while here partner was off at work busting his ass earning the keep. The ex kept hanging around like some dog on heat whilst pretending he was a mate!!. figurre that out!! / She knew all along!!

Only when the son heard rumours around community and became suspsicious of partner's infidelity did the truth come out. This was after he had organised his own DNA tests. You can imagine the shock, horror and shame he felt to have been so badly duped when they proved he was not the dad.

Not the least the anger and disgust from his parents, our friends, family and ourselves at this devious deception. Even the own family of the philandeing son were gob smacked. However they chose to take responsibility for their newly aquired twin grandchildren out of sympaathy for the philandering son. Work that one out guys!!

Thank goodness our system here in Australia was quick to fix this deception... so that our friend's son was not burdened with the debt by deception of parenting payments for 18 or so years.

I feel sorry for the twins that they had such a conniving cow of a parent who could do such a crap thing to a person (she called a partner)... because she lacked the guts to look him in the eye and tell him the truth, that she had been stuffing around. I know this guy and he was so gutted from this.

I would have sent her to the slammer.

Hi.

I think it stinks!
Why do the males always have to be a "meal ticket" for children and a womans biological need to breed?

In this situation, I think it is only fair that the mother involved here be given a chance to either, pay back ALL, meaning every cent of the money, to the man she has bludged off, OR be charged for fraud and jailed accordingly.

Men have and will always be cheated by bloodsucking females and the system, after all we are expendable in societies eyes.

We are jst here to give mummy babies, pay the bills, do all the hard dangerous dirty work and forfiet our lives to war to defend our freedoms and liberty.

You hit the nail right on the head cristina. It is exactly the same here in the US. Fathers have attempted to sue for paternity fraud and consistently lost. I had posted in another forum that the US SUPREME COURT (the highest court we have) ruled against the facts and DNA evidence. If the biological father is unknown, the states feel that if the NON biological father stops paying support it adversely effects the children, and the woman will go on welfare (assistance) causing a unnecessary drain in the system. Its all BS. DNA can release someone from prison who is wrongfully convicted for rape, molestation of a child, or murder. Obviously the financial aspect outweighs the real issue. My problems with this method is, it's unfair, unconstitutional, and actually prevents the child(ren) from ever locating and knowing their biological father.