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Also, the usual thing is that just after the divorce, you and your children may have some contact with him, but over time this will become less and less until about 18 months from now when he will have disappeared from your lives totally.

You made a bad choice/decision when you married him.
With mistakes come consequences.

In America, equal rights and all that, you would have to pay for the apartment. Not for his lifetime but for a few years anyway.

However lucky you, you do not reside in America so let the law of the land and the courts in your country make the ruling.
You have heard a sampling of how if this divorce was being done in CS court what the outcome would be.

Gosh! That would be wonderful! Can't wait for that to happen.

I don't know if the choice was bad because in the early days he was a really good man but as I began to succeed professionally and financially, something went wrong.

Another thing is, sometimes you feel that since you come from a certain background you don't deserve anything better than being with someone with a similar background - its a warped way of thinking - I know that now but back then......

Thank you Lint. I really wish it was that simple - in an ideal world, yes but in my world I am realistic enough to know that I have to pay him off.

I'd make sure your Lawyer ties him up with a Contract so tight,he will choke himself with the first wrong move he makes.
Since he has responsibilities for the Children too,I can't see him demanding Financial Security from you,when it actually ought to be his Responsibility.

Actually Conrad, he has no responsibilities for the children. He contributes nothing toward them, be it financial, emotional or otherwise.

But yes, I will ensure the deal is airtight.

Very wise post. You made two essential points.

1. Under Indian Law ( I do belive that is differ from European or North American or any other country. Because every country has different cultural traditions hence Laws)


2.Sometimes you have to be firm to be kind
I would refraise "Hell Karma's divorce and i do believe divorces of others is paved with good intentions.
That one is actuall one of my life dictums

As for you Karma ... just think how much will you neeed to pay your lawyer and how much will you pay for that freaking appartment. Compare. Choose the best and cheapest way to get bastard out of your life.


I do understand you feeling helpless and lost because you don't want to pay for your husband's and his girlfriend'saccomodations. And why should you, really.


But just remember that it was you who said " I do" choosing him to be your husband. And now it is your personal Hell that you need to get out from.What is done is done. Unfortunately.


Just remember that there is always a way to solve any problem and try to think not with your emotions ...think with brain. Eventually it will become a past.


You seems like a sensible woman

I wish you peace of mind and Good oldie luck and may Spirits be with you.

Thanks Konigsberg! Yes, I chose to marry him and I chose to walk away from that marriage - now I have to think clearly and focus on my ultimate goal which is to get him out of my life forever.

That's it ... You said it.

Do it by any cost for your's and your children's sake

dont buy him a apartment, if you do, it will be something esle later on when he gets bored with living there, and he will also know, that you gave him to him,

this man will use your kids to get to you, this is the oldest trick in the book, i have been to family court to settle everything, i got the house, and she got money....

but I have my son... all ties between us are now bound my law, noone can claim anything from the other...

make sure everything is settle, and that he cannot claim at a later date to get anything esle from you... make sure you get this signed before you settle on anything....

another thing you have to take into account, your settlement doesnt start now, it started when he walk out 3 years ago... so what ever you own then, is what you settle on, not what you have saved now... he cannot claim anything from the present...

good luck..

Hi Maybesoon, thanks for your inputs. You have made a very valid point about earnings over the past 3 years - I'll keep that in mind when I sit with my lawyer to work out a deal.

This man should be paying for the up-keep of your children, util they are 18 years of age.
You said he never paid anything for them.

He deserves nothing, but owes YOU for not giving you support for all those years for the children.

Wishing you the best outcome that is in your and the kids favour