ocean78382: Intersting
lets see Ambrose says the vast majority of people say they prefer monogamy--
I have 3 basic replies: A. SO THEY SAY! most studies show most people have cheated! Or they have ADMITTED cheating.
B. once again so they say but then MOST people get divorced
C. Actually on things like this those who do believe in these lifestyles usually don't say - just like if we asked how many people have smoked pot or smoke it now? Not everyone wants to admit it. HOWEVER people are often too much like sheep and do what the majority do - THE VAST MAJORITY of Americans were in favor of segregation when I was born. The generation before that was cool with lynching and the one before that Slavery. New ideas take time. Most people didn't feel women should have the same jobs or pay as men until the last 40 years.
True my experience counseling people and doing divorces gives me a negative view on marriages, however the figure of 60% getting divorces is a NATIONAL NUMBER. It has little to do with me- face it traditional marriage has failed.
Now Ambrose you are CONJECTURING -- based on what?- I would read profiles on some of the sites and these couples have been together many years. You can conjecture all you want but how many people have you talked to that practice this?
This is mostly an intellectual excercise to see how open-minded people are and what experiences they have. I am dating in a pretty much traditional type thing -whether we do anything wild in the future is up in the air. Right now shes next to me watching a boring HBO "Love and other disasters"
Right, Ocean - that's how I would've answered myself, playing Devil's advocate. I added "in principle" after "most people prefer monogamy" as a qualifier intended to acknowledge that such a preference doesn't necessarily mean that it's fulfilled.
A lifelong romantic relationship is clearly difficult to achieve, particularly in this day and age. That doesn't imply, of course, that alternative relationships would fare any better (though that is a legitimate question). The other assumption, that monogamy is inferior or fatally flawed because of the rate of marriage-failure, doesn't necessarily follow. Monogamy could still be the most satisfying form of romantic relationship - while it lasts (for instance). In other words, one can't sensibly deduce that monogamy is inferior/inherently flawed because a monogamous relationship doesn't last until the death of one or both parties.
Nor can one assume, as you pointed out, that because the majority of people prefer monogamy that it is the best form of romantic relationship. That would require some pretty substantial study to corroborate, and I doubt that such an in-depth comparative study has ever been performed.
However, in the absence of such a study, I think monogamy for humans is probably a presumptive best choice, if for no other reason that it currently predominates.
That actually sounds like a kind of interesting program to me...
