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fireliter: I like golf.

lucky200761: (she spoke to me!)

fireliter: I like golf.

Sommerauer71: Exactly loverboy and afternoon to you.

Those boundaries are not set in stone, but the fundamentals basics are there, faithfulness, loyalty, those should not change, but life will change, events will happen, but they are events and circumstances, the true solid basics should not change and that is why long marriages do exist, because they do not.

Sommerauer71: I did yes, have I not before?

Ooops...

loverboy690: I agree sommer but it is actually morning here to it is 9:00 to be exact.but yes I just see it as you grow if the relationship lasts all your boundries grow to make a better life.

lucky200761: going with the flow

lucky200761: wow ...my sinuses must be backed up because i can't smell sh$t...lookin forward to today's thoughts!!

loverboy690: Exactly luck how are you doing?

lucky200761: Drained a little bit but good overall...u?

druidess6308: I have needs within a relationship, reasonable things that must be accepted and accomodated for it to work. I expect my partner to also have his own needs that I must accept and accomodate. I wouldn't call them terms.

For example, I occasionally need some space and time to myself. So, I need his willingness to give me that, and trust that if I say, "I'm going out for a while. I don't know where I'm going or when I'll be back," that he can trust me enough to be OK with this. I might end up at a park to walk or meditate, or go to the mall, or the VFW...but when I leave the house in this mood, I seriously don't know where I'll end up, nor for how long. This is a need of mine, to be able to do this. I do it now as well...just get in a mood to get out of the house, no destination in mind.

If he has a need for a boys' night out, or to do something similar to the above, I can accomodate that need in return.

loverboy690: Good but cold it's below zero here so I think I may be needing asprine soon.

Big_John: I do believe relationships are a compromise between two people. Each gives-n-takes to make it work, but I see nothing wrong with having firm terms that are not negotiable. In order for a relationship to be strong it must be honest. There is nothing wrong with having limits on what you are willing to do. Example: How many women have publically stated I will not do certain sexual things? I see nothing wrong with these "terms". Some things are open to change and some are not. If we find someone who likes our non-negotiable terms and still loves us then we have a match.

lucky200761: its freakin cold over here also...why the aspirin?

Sommerauer71: Indeed, morning to you John...

Sommerauer71: I believe there has to be terms.

For want of a better term, I prefer boundaries, and those are set up in the getting to know you bit.

If I fall for a man, on meeting him, I would not reel of my list, I would at something that makes me unhappy, say 'I am feeling unhappy, because of this' Not 'You made me unhappy'

All about deliverance of the message.

I am an easy going person, I like a person to be who they are, if you have impressed me enough to get me to meet you, then the chances are that you remain the same person that I fell for, life will be sweet.

So, if in any way you were trying to be a person you are not, I am like a bloodhound, I will sniff you out.

I remain the same, fun, laughing, that is who I am, have learnt to deal with my past relationships and what happened in them.

That is not to say that changes in people's lives do not affect them, of course it does, but that 'we' should be able to, if they have a close, loving relationship with me, then we should be able to negotiate our way through it.

And if we cannot, then why?