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Goodnight darlin. See you are trying to stir up mischief as always. lol

try to darlin wanna go to bed? no but I will see ya later.

Night folks. Hope for healing for a lot of you out there and that you do not give up hope that you meet your match in person or online that you will open to recognize love if/when it comes knocking.

well said and same goes for me night

A lovely lady named Linda Mae married and divorced me 3 times. We had it all, both had great jobs, made lots of money, had a beautiful home, the clothes, the vacations (we went someplace every month, even flew to HI one weekend), new cars (both paid for), I had 2 motorcycles (paid for), and a new race car in the garage (paid for), she had her art work, we had it all and "I" was never satisfied. I was always envious of others that may have had more.

When we divorced, she cleaned my clock financially & I was very angry for the "Almighty Buck" was my Higher Power. That was in 1991. She had cancer (I knew that as I gave her more money for treatment), we lost contact, she passed away in 95 (I did not know that) I did not find out until mom seen a memorial to her in the obits after one year.

I had some amends to make to this lady, I went and made them to her mother. Her mom said, "Patrick, my daughter loved you til the day she died, she was just not willing to put up with your bullshit any longer". Patrick learned another very hard lesson.. Happiness is an INSIDE JOB, and nothing will make me happy unless I choose to be happy.

SO dear Sassy, does this need to be taken to email?? HELL NO!!!!!!!!! I have walked my path and I admit to the path I have walked. If another can learn from some of the mistakes I have made, I have paid a dedt to my fellow man..

Hello HJF: I was just reading through this thread and wanted to reply before finishing it to say 'nothing or no one can MAKE you happy', but in the end (you post above, you know that.
Making amends is a good way to come to some closure on what you feel you need to do in order to find peace.

Peace to you.

Pat I would let them go if that's what made them happy.

If "I" was ready and she were truly "the one", that conversation should never take place.

If "both" were available, mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.. It would not take place..

Can't say I'd be selfish as she'd be gone from my life very fast. And most likely would make me feel like Sh@t if someone said that to me.

If she wasn't available mentally, physically, or emotionally then she's truly not "the one", no matter what "I" may want.

I'm still learning this lesson.

No offense, Tina, but that was a lot more than a mere "sign." You would've saved yourself 19 wasted years if you'd simply taken him at his word, I'm thinking...

If they can't handle perfection...f..k 'em.

Well, romantic love is one of those perhaps rare things which is fundamentally selfish. One doesn't - and shouldn't attempt to - love one "charitably"...nor would any person in his or her right mind want that.

Of course you will feel compassionate and charitable toward someone you love (if you truly love them), but the ultimate source of romantic love is not altruistic.

So...to answer your question: I would find nothing offensive about that comment. It's like someone saying "I must love myself first before loving you" - merely stating a more or less self-evident truth.

Well, your lesson about happiness being an inside job may be true, but I think there's more to be gleaned from your experience than that, Pat (e.g., make an effort to deal with your bullshit in order to be/stay with someone you truly love and who truly loves you ).

Thanks for sharing that, Patrick. I've always felt...well, both inspired and a bit horrified by your multiple-marriage story.

I have a friend who's been repeating your mantra "you can choose to love or not love and be happy or not happy - it all comes from you," and sometimes I think he sounds very wise...but other times I think he sound very desperate.

HJ Thank You. Sometimes it does take years to find the
happiness within ourselves is what will make us happy
on the outside. I wish I could honestly say, I have made
amends but that would be a lie and would get me nowhere.
There is one man on this earth yet to this day that I
dispise with everything I have in me. I was a young, dumb
bride and he was my husbands boss, I was for lack of a better
word, his sex slave, as threats were made upon my husband's
job and his life. Many years later we went back to work
for this man under protests from me and he sexually
molested my deceased daughter. She did not tell me under
6 months before she died. I will rejoice the day this man
dies and he now has alzhimers and is 82. Just the way I
feel. More to the story but that is the main part.

I was desperate. I didn't get into relationships/marriages, I took hostages..

All that has been many years ago, I have learned a few things "about me" over the years. One of the most important things I have learned, until I could live with and love myself, I could not live with or love another..

Today, I would not be willing to trade my place in life with anyone.

"If", you forgive him, you forgive yourself..

But that is only "my" experience..

the cold-hearted slut whore bitch that said it!